I just returned from a week away with DD. The morning after our return, WH was giving DD some spicy food, and I suggested that it might not be a good idea. He tossed the food back into the refrigerator and said "Well, I can tell you're back." A little later, I asked him if he had a chance to think about what he intends to do, and he replied "You haven't changed." (A few weeks ago he told our MC I had made changes and he felt badly that he hadn't). Then I asked him if he saw OW while I was away, and he said "No, I didn't see OW while you were away" in a very facetious voice. I asked if it was a fair question. He didn't respond. Does this sound like fog-talk? I stashed a VOR in his car, but all I can hear is a tape playing with love lyrics like "Loving you ..." "Won't you wait for me..." blah, blah, blah. I suspect OW gave him the tape, or it makes him think of her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I am now thinking of exposing to OW's parents (I know Melody, I should have done it sooner, but I didn't find out about MB 'til well after DDay). What do you think? I have no real proof the A is still on, but it looks like it, doesn't it? DDay was 5 months ago. My plan was to Plan A until October, but it is SO hard ... and my gut feeling tells me he wants out but just doesn't want to be the one to do it.

Ooops, sounds like there was contact to me. Time to expose.

Bummer. Thanks, Believer.

Is it better to expose in person, or by email or telephone?

Ask your H this when he is relaxed and well rested:

"What can we do today, right now, to make each other happy? I'll go first. What can I do today for you?"

... and just watch his reaction .... see if his body language matches his words ... see if he reacts with hostility to a completely neutral question.

If his reaction is weird ... have him followed. Get a relative to help you out.

Pep, this is a great, great idea. Thanks.

So at Pep's suggestion, I asked WH "What can we do today to make each other happy? I'll start - what can I do today to make you happy?" And WH just smiled said "nothing." Then he spent the morning with DD and me, doing errands. That's it. How shall I interpret that? I still plan on exposing to OW's parents, tomorrow. If it's a big LB for WH, so be it. I'm wondering if I should call or go over there, since I know where to find them. Any thoughts from the exposure experts? Melody?

I would go in person, but that is just the way I do things. Try to be calm, and let them know what is going on. Ask them if they could be of any help in you saving your marriage.

I chickened out today! I persuaded myself that since I have no hard proof the A is still on, I didn't really have to do it (2 x 4 to the head). I did find out today that OW's mother is considered to be a nice person, so that should make it easier.