Hey Pep, you around?

My girlfriend thought I should take his trash out there with the note, but add on that since he assured me use of the property after I signed title over to him, I should also add that I would appreciate said use on such and such weekends. Agreeing that we should part, but that I had plans to use on certain weekends, and then outline the weekends going forward.

What do you think Pep?

[color:"blue"] Is it your thought that spending time on the property would be enjoyable for you ?

Do you think you might feel more hurt and be triggered in some way by going there?

Are you certain this is not to get a "fix" of him in some way?

Just be honest with yourself Weaver ... you won't go wrong if you are honest about your expectations. [/color]

[color:"red"] Pep [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Well it's four in the morning and I still can't sleep, but I have come to a very honest realization.

All it would accomplish for me is to put me in the middle of an unhappy and unhealthy drama. I don't need to go over to the island, and I don't need to leave any notes which would serve nothing more then opening the door for him to call me.

I just read my earlier post where I was determined to have NC for six months at the least, doing anything would just keep me in obsessed mode.

Thanks again Pep. Letting go sure is hard, especially when part of me keeps thinking of ways to stay attached.

Oh, good good weaver.

I'm up late because a very old friend spent the evening on my porch drinking beer with me. This is a friend I see rarely (three times in the last ten years), who lives far far away.

GC

How long have you been out your relationship?

One month.

Why do you ask?

And may I ask what your initials stand for?

[color:"blue"] I know it's hard Weave. Before I was married, I had a 14-year off/on relationship. He was poison for me, and I could not resist a sip of him every now and again .... even tho I KNEW I would be "sick" after seeing him.

This is your test of NC.

Right now you are probably experiencing similar feelings of the WW's who come here suffering from withdrawl.

You seem to be seeking my least favorite illusionary-pie-in-the-sky-goal ---> never-ending [/color] [color:"red"]"closure" [/color]

[color:"blue"]This is NC .... so your withdrawl can progress.

Weaver .... you're normal.

You might also be just a tiny bit bored with the non-dramatic way your life feels at the moment.

What say you? [/color]

[color:"red"]Pep [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

What say I? I say I am all talk and no action. I will not be contacting him or going to the property.

I know better. MB has been good for me that way.

I just got off the phone with my sister in NYC and she recommended a book for me to read called "The Laws of Attraction", not attraction in mate attraction (unless you want it to be) but in the universal law of what we attract into our life with our energy, be it positive or negative.

I am like the WW's who come here in a sense, but I differ somewhat in that I am so far ahead of the game in knowledge now. I KNOW how to beat addictions.

I also have a very sweet little girl who needs me to be happy and whole, and needs positive influences in our life. And when she comes back here to live in November, I plan on making sure she has all those things.

Pep, you and all the other strong, together women on this board give me something to aspire to, and for having role models in my life right now like that mean the world to me.

weaver,

Put it up on Freecycle. Somebody will come and get the junk for you.

On an emotional level, getting his garbage out of your environment is pretty healthy.

Dobie

I know. And this week I will take it to the dump, not to the island.

Thanks Dobie!

Freecycle is better than the dump. Someone who wants the stuff will come get it.

You wouldn't believe some of the things you can post on freecycle that someone is going to want.

If it's engines, I'd also check to see if some sort of school wants them. They have programs in some places where they teach welfare moms to be mechanics and stuff like that.

Dobie

Dobie,

I live in a very small rural community, so I don't know what you are talking about.

Well we do have a high school though, so yes I can call the auto shop class.

Yes there are a couple of motors, one for a boat and the other for I don't know what.

Also a battery, and some other junk I don't know what it is.

He also left a whole slew of outdoor Christmas decorations. He won awards for his Christmas decs. I'll keep those, I would gladly give those to his kids if I could. They live a state away, so not likely. I don't want them though. Well maybe I'll just leave them in the loft for the next owner, or a friend who wants them.

Can't picture myself outside hanging lights and stuff. It's all I can do in the winter just to shovel! LOL

I also have several items in our camper over on the island (I do own half that camper trailer too, forgot about that), which I would like back. One is an overnight bag which belonged to my dad, and some brand new games, like Scategories. Ah well, I'm rambling.

Freecycle

Go to the nearest list. I'm in a fairly small area too and people post and want some wild stuff.

Dobie

So, how was the trip???

Oh, Yeah, and is the garage clean?

SS