Come on folks, this thread should not be used for your personal debate! Take it somewhere else.

I keep thinking what would I do if I found this in my house. We have dealt with porn, not child, so it is somewhat close to home.

I honestly don't believe my first place would be the police. I have a degree in Criminal Justice, both my dad and my dh are in law enforcement.

I would definately confront my dh, hear his story. Serious counseling would be in order. Some type of program on the computer that logs EVERYTHING he does would also be in order. There would also be an understanding that any child porn found in the house again would result in immediate notification to the police.

I posted the Marriage Builder's phone number... did you see it???

The Marriage Builders® Administration Offices
Email: Office@marriagebuilders.com
Telephone: (651) 762-8570

Please call a professional for advice.... we are all "laypeople" here. This thread has sparked too much emotion.

Call a professional... I'm guessing this qualifies as a Marriage emergency, and would think they'd take your call....

Please call them now, and let the forum rest for a few moments....

JMHO
SD

He admitted it... and I told him how I felt about it. It bothered me, but it is miniscule compared to this. He stopped leaving them in files I could find... I have not found any since then. I am also not sure how old these disks are... but they are in the top drawer to the desk... and if they were older they would be put away and not right in plain sight.

why is there an accusation of child molestation? Where in this thread has this guy been reasonably accused of child molestation?

see... this is the kind of thing that pisses me off. Someone shows they are capable of one evil.... now they are capable of ALL evils. And almost guilty of them anyway, without ANY proof. What a world....

Seeing some pictures does not make your child in danger here. Behaviour and actions that endanger the child are. First thing you need to do is calm down. You will not make the best decisions running high on emotions. If you feel that you and your child are in danger, then protect yourself. IF you feel you have the smoking gun for child molestation, by all means, fry the sicko. But how about you get his side of the story before you go calling the police.

I mean lets just look at this idea. You call the police right now. They come and snatch his [censored] up. In front of everyone. And declare why he's being arrested... and THEN he has some logical explanation?? Gee... talk about injecting problems into your marriage.

In the face of chaos, it is the person that keeps their cool and deals with the problem rationally that wins the day.

Talk to him. Get his side. Be prepared to do the right thing. Professional help. Call the police. Whatever. And do protect yourself. But don't make a big show of protecting yourself. That kind of behaviour immediately puts people on the defensive, most days.

Chaser Re read what Tom wrote>> Great advice!! Here us say take care of yourself>

agian here is what I wrote... is there anyone you can call... to take this to "real time" you need someone by your side right now!

You said you do not have a church. Is there someone you can call to stand by you? An oldler friend, a teacher, is there a chuch you could call a friend who could call her pastor to sit with you and "INTERVEEN" so that you do not have to confront your husband alone. Someone who will "free your name" and help you walk through this so you are taking the right steps to protect your child and could testify that you were not protecting your husband.


SVB

You said he stopped leaving them in filed you could find, do you think he continued to view adult porn? I guess I'm trying to determine his level of addiction and deceit.

What about parents? Would that be someone good to tell these things to?

Chaster,

If you put the disk in and right click on an image the select properties it should tell you when they were created or modified.

I personally would go to my dad. Only because I trust him and I know that if it was something that dh sought help for and handled, my dad would not hold it againt him.

Would you tell his parents? your parents? What is both of your relationships like with them?

I am sure he still watches it... sometimes he tells me about them... I just don't like it when he purposely "hides" things from me.

Yes. Tell his parents and your parents. Also tell the police.

If that is all you have >>> but it would be better to go to someone who has no bias toward you or your husband... your parents will be very mad at him... reguardless of how things turn out... his will want to try and protect him...

But they are better to have than no one... Do you have a friend who attends church?

Well... I've never met his dad, his mother is dead, but I am very close with my parents and I was thinking about telling one of them.

Why does church matter at all????????

chaster... I posted the Harley's number twice... did you see it and have you called them???

Please talk to a professional, now!

SD

Parents would be great if you are close to them.

If he is hiding the adult porn from you, then he is mort than likely a sexual addict and he is going to have a hard time dealing with this issue. It is going to take some very strong counseling to get to the bottom of his issues. I'm not sure that he is going to take the confrontation very well because it deals with such a high risk nature. You really need someone like your parents and/or his parents to back you up.

The Marriage Builders® Administration Offices
Email: Office@marriagebuilders.com
Telephone: (651) 762-8570

for me

child porn is a deal-breaker

too risky to raise a child around anyone with those desires

Pep

Just keep in mind these are all things to think about. Ultimately the choice is yours to make. You need to choose what you can live with.