Movingforward4me,

"Can he resist the temptation?" What temptation are you talking about? Please explain

HELL yeah I am calling my husband names like you would not believe actually I call him ADULTERER, WEAKMINDED, D***less, many things that fit the way he behaved throughout this whole situation. I tell him to get a spine/brain/whatever and figure out a way to put a stop to this harrasment which is his fault. TRUST in me that he is in no way getting off easy... He often says 'maybe if I just leave it will stop" I say go ahead maybe it will this time, He CRIES.(It did NOT stop last time when I threw him out during our seperation-even though the Ow did not know about our seperation)

Yes there is hell to pay for him, there will continue to be as long as I am harrassed and my family is upset by that mess he alone created. It's up to him to fix what he has broken.

C:

That was kind of enlightening for you te reveal that. Can I ask you a question? How is the marriage recovery going with the WH?

Sour...

Lemon I will answer this but I was reading back and I too felt you are trying to work against me, while the subject at hand was the way I am fed up with the Xow and her psychosis.

My marriage (at first) was I wanted to leave him after the reveal. I actually had him removed from the home but due to circumstances which I could not possibly get into right now it had so much to do with my father and religion, OW harrasment, finances, ect.

We became a united front to fight the XOW for a while there. All the while healing was going great. I was still distant and guarded but my husband won me over. We fought her into submission for a few months which allowed us to get it together. As the problems with the xow kept creeping back legally we discussed and fought more. I was getting so much more revealed to me as I investigated the OW for my legal service purposes. I was sick and the more I found out about how much he revealed to her about myself and my children. It opened up a whole new can of worms. He got on the defensive and we continued to fight and I got real tired of being the loyal faithful loving wife with the weight of the world on my shoulders, with no appreciation but a big sense of expectation from my H that I should an would solve his problems for him. That is when the expecting him to grow up and take care of his own problems started tearing up our progress. He was happy go lucky as long as I was calling this attorney or filing that for him. When I stepped away and expected him to do it all himself he felt like I abondoned him. TOO DAMN BAD for him, now he knows how I felt and I needed to worry about other things not the mess he made. Which brought us to the seperation. That is about the time when I was sick of him and his not taking care of things for himself. And from there you know the story KIDS, school, pregnancy, ect.

As of right now we are butting heads it is what I call a real rollarcoaster of emotions. He is not being the loving husband that he was before. He is being a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde one day nice the next like a teenager that is not going to be told what to do by me > LOL I am not telling him what to do I am asking this anything get done in this matter or that. He is back to the thinking if he just ignores it it will go away theory So that is what seperated us the last time. He does great one day and then does the idiotic teenage thing the next. I stopped telling him what to do and everything he is in charge of fell apart. The only thing I wont allow him to ignore is the health insurance. The rest he will learn from.

We are in a stalemate as of right now thats the best way to describe it. I cannot respect him for not handling his business and he wants to make me do things for him , which I refuse.

Now to the matter at hand. I am sick and tired of this psycho stalking me. My H has not talked to this person in any way shape or form since 2003. I know this much... you would think that she would get over it already. The main focus is ME and my children now with her harrasment. She doesnt even try to contact him, only little digs at him in her correspondences with me or her mailings.

I can say I am fed up and that is the matter at hand.

Cordelia, you did not answer my question as to what state you live in? What state do you live in?

Movingforward4me,

"Can he resist the temptation?" What temptation are you talking about? Please explain


That is exactly what I was going to say to you about not responding.

why do you need to know what state I live in?
I responded to you in the other thread, where you pointed out some things to LynnG and myself.

I do believe that I did ask you about what state you live in BEFORE you asked me about that other question...HOWEVER, I will answer your question of what I mean by saying "can he resist the temptation?"

I mean exactly what it says "CAN your H resist the temptation of the OW"

You say he is "different" now...he is nice one day and mean the next...

This could be due to the fact that you are harping on him...calling him names such as "****less" and whatever other names you mentioned before. Names a RECOVERING marriage should never hear. Names that I would not dream of calling my H...even now! But, that is difference in you and me and the way we were brought up. That sort of launguage is uncalled for. It is beyond the everyday "cuss" words society in a whole uses.

That is immature and uncalled for on YOUR part.

I believe you are insecure in your marriage at this point and are making excuses...I believe that you beleive that your H might go back to the OW...

now that is just my own opinion.

Why do I want to know what state you live in? Well, because you harp on this and that and how in YOUR state that is NOT the case an dhow in YOUR state things are different...so, I am only curious as to know exactly WHAT state you live in...

but if you are too scared to share with us, that is fine...No sweat off my back...but I do think that I am not the only one who is curious...I may be the only one who ASKED...so, why not share what state you are from?

sorry I had to bring this over here because I do not like to thread jack anyones threads if i can avoid it..

"WHY on earth would you not say that your H is the one who crossed the line cordelia? WHY would you blame that on the OW? YES, she knew your H was married...Did your H NOT know he was married...Why didn't you H say NO, I am married to the OW? your statement makes absolutely no sense! "

Ok u must be reading only what you want I did not say anywhere that my Husband did not cross anyline... You said it was NOT the OW fault on the other thread - you need to reread... that is what I was responding to and it is anyones fault that commits adultery, My stupid H included.

Ok now to address this issue- I only stated it ONCE about the law in my state in reference to my Aunt and my cousin. I did not harp... that is what I mean by your responses.

I am very sure that he can resist the "temptation" of someone that he hates (ow).
Now if you are refering to a whole NEW OW I would not be able to say for sure. But the old one Yes I can bet money on that.


I am insecure of the future of my marriage But NOT because I think he will go back to the Xow.... That is NOT my mindset at all. So you can get that one out of the scenerio right now If there is one thing I am sure of at this point it is that!

"But, that is difference in you and me and the way we were brought up. That sort of launguage is uncalled for. It is beyond the everyday "cuss" words society in a whole uses.

That is immature and uncalled for on YOUR part. "

I use these words on occasion when I am mad at H, yes I do, and I would never go so off the subject as to chastise anyone about the words they use when trying to convey feelings or in thier particular situation, each is different. (Another example for you)

Now talking about a healing marriage, I would not try to tell you what to do in your marriage or what works with your husband BECAUSE I would not know. Everyone is brought up differently and expresses themselves differently...

I get the feeling from you that since you left your marriage and you claim to be happier that you think all should follow suit. That is another vibe of odd I am reading into your posts. I also think you are projecting your insecurity that you felt about your husband on to me.

NOW let me ask you are you friendly with the ow in your situation is that why you are such an advocate of putting no blame whatsoever on OW?

I honetly can say that I am very disappointed in any OW that would do this mine yours anyones. I feel even more than a husband wife relationship, that WOMEN should NEVER do backstabbing things to other WOMEN... I always felt that all women shoud unite to protect ourselves and look out for one another when it comes to caring for our families especially. I would never do that to any other woman, I would rather die than know I broke up a family and that I contributed to the downfall of a stable environment for children that had thier whole lives intact and felt safe, secure, with peace of mind that mommy and daddy will always be there. Same for the poor wife that thought she was doing what she had to in order to build a home for her family, only to have her world pulled out from underneath her by a fellow female that should have morals and know better.
Men are a dime a dozen really.

I tried to only marry once and for life I feel that most women do, that is one compeling reason for me NEVER to undo what god had put together. My biggest reason for not condoning adultery and adulterers. Reason I do not let my husband off the hook. Reason I was going after xow legally and cannot understand why she cannot leave me alone and mocks my moral/religious beliefs.

So if for some reason you do not like me, which is the vibe I am getting, it will be simple not to respond.