Bosstennor, it seems you are still in withdrawl from the OM. I know how frustrating it is to struggle with lingering/residual feelings because I have been there myself. It took me 18 months in total to get through withdrawal completely. Please read the following thread I’ve compiled a few months ago. I’m sure you will find it very helpful:

A quick start guide on withdrawal for both FWS’s and BS’s

Most info on the following thread is on the above thread as well, but there is a quoted post from Ark^^ I also want you to read. You will find it somewhere on the thread below:

Guidelines for FWS’s on how to get through withdrawal

Bosstennor, the problem is not with feelings we experience, but how we handle those feelings. For instance, do you dwell on your feelings for OM a lot and deliberately think about OM a lot? Of course it will be normal if the OM pops up in your mind from time to time, but as you have seen in Ark's post in the thread above, if you deliberately dwell on those thoughts/feelings and don’t practice self-discipline to control the thoughts, it will become a problem and you will prolong your own withdrawal/personal recovery. If you struggle to do this on your own and find it extremely difficult (or almost impossible) to control your thoughts, you need to consider help and talk with a professional counselor.

Remember, betrayal first start in the thoughts - thoughts lead to feelings - feelings lead to temptation and temptation can eventually lead to action if you allow it. So in reality the feelings/thoughts you still have for OM IS a temptation and something you need to fight and resist to dwell on... If you can practice this, the temptation (to think about him) and the lingering feelings will fade with time and patience.

If you are a believer, you will find the following thread extremely insightful & helpful for your situation:

Growing through & defeating temptation

Bosstennor, as I’ve said already, if things doesn’t become better in spite of all the information and suggestions in this post/links and if the “downward spiral” becomes worse in spite of all your effort, then consider professional help. After my inappropriate friendship with OM ended, I’ve struggled with intense & obsessive thoughts/feelings about OM for many months, but after I’ve received counseling and medication, things have become better.

Hope this could help,
Suzet