believer, I think that will come but I want him to expose to the OMW first and see what happens. If there is any way to split them up without losing her job, I think that would be the best way.

navyredman, there is a way to get someone's address and phone # from a cell phone #. I think Pebbles knows, can you post to her?

Navy man:

Have you considered talking to OM directly.

Wait for OM in the parking lot and calmly approach him. He may urinate on his pants when he sees you so be gentle. Calmly tell him that these affairs do not work and that you want him to desist immediately. There is a 1 in 10 chance this OM may have a small residue of decency and actually listen to you. Of course this will set your wife on fire as the last thing she wants is you to talk to her OM. Be nice to OM and hand him some literature on affairs and how they normally end. OM probably is as foggy as your wife, but let him know that you cannot understand how a man can fall in love with a woman who is living at home with another man (the husband). Tell OM how come he is not bothered about the fact that you and wife share a bed, a bathroom, and a home. Tell OM that you are getting checked for STDs and if the doc finds something he will hear from your lawyer----------------- ie a lawsuit. Then walk away------------- this should take no more than two minutes

You must tell OM’s wife regardless of what OM says to you. He may even tell you he is planning to break it up. But, remember OM is very afraid of you--------- he is also a liar.

If you believe both OM and your wife will lose their jobs them you must expose at work. If you truly want to save the marriage your wife will have to work somewhere else. She cannot work in the same company with OM for you to have any success. So you might as well blow the whistle big time. The concern about the economic hardship is moot. She needs to be out of there whether you expose or not.

AT the onset your wife will hate you with all her heart. Your actions are destroying her entire fantasy. However, if she an OM end the affair it will be worth it.

I have talked to OM twice, and he has mocked me both times. I have been calm and told him how much I love my family and want to work it out. Both times he was very sarcastic and didn't care at all.

I'm still trying to find OM wife. No luck so far, maybe I will get some help from this board.

I called 411 and she said no info available.

This is the info I got from that site.

"We're sorry. We did not find a listing for the phone number you entered.
The phone number ***edited*** based phone number and the registered carrier is Cellco Partnership Dba Verizon Wireless - Nc. However, due to number portability, some numbers have been transferred to a new service provider other than the registered carrier."

Hi NavyRed,

Have you tried calling that number?

One of us could do it for you. If he doesn't answer, his voicemail message may give you some info.

Do you even know his first name?

-AD

Yep. I'll call the bum.

I know his first and last name, I have called it twice and talked to him, I know what car he drives and I know where he stays.

Honestly I don't care if 100 people call him at all times of the night, you'd get to hear how uncaring and sarcastic he is about the whole situation. He does not have one ounce of decency in his entire body.

The full name and a phone number is lot of info. Have you tried one of the background search sites? For about $50 you can get a lot of leads - addresses, former addresses, criminal records etc. It is all based on names, so if it is a common name, you may get a lot of stuff to sort through.

-AD

Does he still live with his wife and kids?

You said you know where he stays. Do you have the street address too?

Yes, and before the affair my wife said he was very close to them and a very good family man, but that all changed to he is in an abusive relationship once the affair started.

No it's a hotel on the beach, he's here on business.

Hotel. I see. How often and how long is he there?

I don't have $50 free dollars laying around, I'm just about to buy $500 dollars of uniforms for my kids for the new school year.

She told me he was supposed to leave two weeks ago, so I don't know the real duration. He's there every night that's where he stays. St Pete beach hotel for business, Raliegh NC home for family

Uniforms. Catholic school? Any chance you can do without the entire complement of uniform stuff?

Public school and no one child is just starting, so we don't have any for him and my daughter has grown out of last years.

You obviously know the name of the company, but do you know what city is his home base?

Thank you for all your replies AD I have to go to bed though, it's almost 11 hear and I have to be up at 3 for work