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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 722
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Posts: 722 |
the ball isn't in my court; she doesn't give a flying ****about me or what we have; at this point i'm just being used for her sick little emotion games.
Last edited by Justuss; 07/16/05 06:57 PM.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Fox, I don't think I have posted to you before. I just wanted to tell you I am sorry you are hurting so bad. You are both very young, sometimes that is a factor. You are likely more mature than she. There is no reason you cannot let her go and begin your life anew. Yes, you will hurt but God is with you every step of the way.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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Do what you need fox. You have permission to do that. From God and Man.
MB Alumni
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 722
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I'm not trying to be an *******e right now - the pain is just boiling over; its become a festering wound thats become infected and now its running out all over the place; the emotions need to ******* come out now; I can't pretend anymore. I have NEVER EVER felt pain like this before.
My mom dead in front of my eyes, blue as a ******* smurf, being rolled out in front of me; being left alone in the house at ******* 12, knowing my life was falling apart and that I had nothing left in the world - no family, no friends. Hearing my ******* mom begging me on the phone to save her when I was ******* FOURTEEN while she was being raped and having the 250,000 dollars she got from our grandparents house STOLEN FROM HER FOR DRUG MONEY, dropping the ******* phone and collapsing on the kitchen floor helpless; being told my mom was gone forever. Having my mom pawn everything I ever owned; spending the trust fund money my grandparents put away for my college so that I could become something my mom never was STOLEN BY MY OWN MOM FOR DRUGS!??!?! None of that **** even hurt HALF AS ******* BAD AS THIS. I CANT SIT HERE AND PRETEND LIKE IM HAPPY ANYMORE; I'M NOT. GOD ******* DAMN IT, WHY THE **** DOES THIS **** HAPPEN??
....if I EVER had a bone to pick with God...which I know I have; this is seriously another one. I lay my life in His ******* hands; and I'll continue to remain faithful to Him, but I'm getting extremely ******* sick and tired of the trials; they've been around for 20 ******* years - and just when I feel like things are coming around; and the best thing that's ever happened to me has rolled into my life; she rips my ******* heart out and ***** on it. Where the **** is Job? I want to *******g meet this man. When the **** do I get a break from this ******* ****God? Yeah, I've been angry with you; but I've never stopped ******* believing; even through all of this stuff - and THIS **** KEEPS HAPPENING. HDCIWC)B#R)ED*HC)SUDGO:VUAI SGCGVSAH:OVHOASGXVGAICZGVK:JSa;GV:KJAGAK:JSGV:KSGKJVGBKJ SBCJABVKJ:ABC:KXBVAJsbJKVBa;kbvkjsdc
Last edited by Justuss; 07/16/05 07:01 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 722
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it's over
I just emailed her; told her to mail me the divorce papers when she can so I can sign them and have them filed; I'm done.
Me 20
WW 20
Friends since: December 10, 1999
Began Dating: October 29, 2003
Married Feb 13, 2004
D-Day: July 28, 2005
Separated since: June 9, 2005
Now in Plan B - headed for D.
Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 722
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Posts: 722 |
thank you for the support guys - i'm sorry to say I'll be leaving; time to move on to bigger and better things; and especially to a girl who actually ******* loves me and doesn't treat me like [censored]. Someone who understands the concept of "For better or for worse" - and who can forgive me for the mistakes I made. I have no room for vindictivism (?) in my life.
take care all of you, you'll be in my prayers.
God bless
-A
Last edited by Justuss; 07/16/05 07:02 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 141
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 141 |
You Are strong enough for this.
BW-28-me
FWH-27
D-Day 10-04
Together- 13 yrs
Married- 4 yrs
EA- 3 months -turned into a weekend PA, he came home on Sunday and told me.
HS/College Sweethearts
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