Do nothing, carnation. What is there to do?

>Oh great. He probably thinks that I am in process of cutting off the phone ! That I am evil and causing trouble. Which I am not. At the very least he thinks I am checking up on his whereabouts.



So? Right now he's not really thinking with his BRAINS anyway....So...do you care what that other part of his anatomy is thinking right now?

Water/ducks back. Let it slide chica. Let it slide.

Doncha think it's time for a trip to Grapevine Mills? I love that place.

- Kimmy

Thanks so much for the replies.

Yesterday I was gone for quite awhile. Busy, busy and actually had fun with some friends that I have not seen in 5 years. Felt free from troubles for a little while, of course a couple of drinks helped too. Which is rare for me. Not a prude, just been there - done that, now I am doing this. (and how's that workin for ya ? as Dr. Phil would say)

Anyway, I got home last night around 9. Well, well there was my WH number on house caller id. He did not leave a mess. He called at 2:15. So glad I was not home to be tempted to answer. Then I turned on my cell, had it with me but turned off. There was a voice mail message from WH at around 8. Here is his message -

My nickname, nickname - You are breaking my heart. Please, please call me.

End of message. So this plan seems to be working. I was so surprised to hear him say that. And his voice was quite sad and pathetic. Man these WS follow the plans to a tee.

I did not call. He called this morning - left a message - Please,please call me.

I am thinking next time he calls to answer and say briefly that all of this has upset me, and I need more time to sort things out. You know I love you, but it takes much more than that.

Does that sound good ? I am pretty certain he will call again. I am doing quite well with all of this. So far. Especcially since these phone messages to me.

Thanks so much as always - talk to Steve tomorrow. Any pointers gladly appreciated.

Carnation

Are you in Plan B? If so, don't talk to him to "remind" him of what he needs to do.

Right now your WH needs a fix of you. Don't give it to him.

Not actually officially a Plan B. Just a new little strategy that seems to be working for both me and him. I feel separated from the chaos and he seems to be missing me. So far, so good on both counts.

I guess I need to ask Steve is there any way at all to get WH to admit an affair had or is happening ? That seems to be my biggest problem through all of this. The lying and what I THINK is happening.

thanks so - car

Good comeback would have been: Perhaps his daughter should spend less time ruining marriages!

He may have been rude to you, but do you really think he wants his daughter in this mess? Most likely he will tell her to move on.

Just MHO.

OK, didn't have time to read the entire thread - just the first and last pages.

But I want to share something with you about one of my WXH's adulteries.

I suspected he was involved with a woman he was working with in another state. I called OW but she denied any inappropriate involvement with my WH. But then coincidentally, a couple of days later when my WH's contract job @ that company was over and he was heading to another state for his next job, the OW was also gone from her job... taking some vacation days...hmmm...

I called her parents and told them I had reason to believe that their daughter was involved with my husband. Her parents denied it and although they weren't really rude to me I felt like a fool for calling them. Right after that I called my mother and told her I didn't know what else to do. My mom insisted that I call her parents back! I was kind of scared to, that they might think I was 'harrassing' them, and didn't really see the point anyway since they had already denied everything. But I did call them back. And they said they were glad I had called them back and had been trying to reach me! (I lived in a MUCH bigger city than them so it was much easier for me to find their number than for htem to find mine.)

You see even though they had denied everything when they were on the phone with me the first time something that I had said had sunk in with them after I hung up. I had said that I thought their daughter was with my husband, on the way to his next job, IN THE RV THAT ***SHE*** BOUGHT FOR HIM! She had taken out the loan for him to buy the RV and was the titleholder. She had told her parents that he was separated from me, in the process of getting a divorce, and that his step-father had helped him buy the RV. So even though they basically lied to me when I called them the first time, and pretended nothing was going on, soemthing that I had said DID affect their opinion of their daughter's relationship with my husband.

Who knows why they initially lied to me to cover for their daughter? Maybe they were embarrassed or ashamed? Maybe they really beleived that my WH was separated and divorcing? Maybe they believed the lies they had been told about how 'crazy' and 'mean" I was?

BUT still, SOMETHING that I had said, some INFO I had given them, made a difference and caused them to withdraw support for the adultery. (They were worried that my WH was using their daughter to buy him things AND since I had managed to speak very calmly and politely to them maybe they found it less believeable that I was just a 'crazy b*tch'?) Her parents sent a relative to fetch her and the RV...LOL

IMHO you sort of blew it by warning the OW ahead of time that you were going to contact her parents. That just gave her time to 'warn' her parents that you were just 'crazy' and 'jealous'... And then when you did call her again and them, not remaining calm was another mistake (understandable though - something I did a time or two with WH's last OW)

BUT you most definitely have planted some seeds of doubt in her parents' minds. If they see any evidence of anything going on between their daughter and your husband now they will know their daughter was lying to them and that your concerns are valid.