very tall. And big.

Ah I can explain that. I watched the Discovery channel and apparently tall hebivores can leave piles of [censored] that are both tall and big. OW might be giraffe poo, or maybe okapi poo. Could be elephant but they are usually splattery.

My vote is girafe. Hang on, don;t they have camels in Spain ?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Dunno... perhaps a couple have wandered in from Morocco?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

There is something about OW that reminds me of an Ox, or perhaps a bison... those huge, hairy, manly shoulders. *shudders*

But I don't like insulting innocent herbivores, or even their faeces, by likening them to OW.

Alph.

I used to call OM a reptile, but in truth poor vicious alligators don't deserve to be tainted by his reputation !

Wow b0b my husband did exactly the opposite to your financial plan. I'd expected him to do what you did as a hard nosed, cool headed executive but he transferred everything to me and told me to go if that was what I wanted. He said the money meant nothing to him he only wanted us to love each other and be a family. That shocked me to the core as I'd always felt that his career and money meant more to him. It still blows me away now what he did.


Alphin...well done on going to the solicitor....I'm really glad she is writing your WH a letter regarding the girls not seeing the OW.

If I don't *see* you before you leave have a wonderful holiday with your girls in Sunny Spain.

Bet you'd like to make him into a pair of shoes, though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

StrongFoundation,


Thanks! I can't wait! Even ironing is fun when you're getting ready for a holiday. I love getting everything ready, sorting stuff out - it's great!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Strong

That was a risky gesture by your H. I am glad it paid off for you both !

Alph

I am going to say some words that I dont really need to say because I am not your Mom, but I will say them anyway.

You are a pretty, smart, personable and funny woman who wears nice summer tops, who is lonely and vulnerable right now, and you're going on holiday to a place that is full of handsome men looking for such.

Have a LOVELY holiday but don't so anything you might regret,'kay ?

I was hit on DREADFULLY on a work trip just after the worst mess, the flattery , loneliness and entitlement can play tricks.

I'm glad I didn't respond though I was ambivalent at the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, Uncle b0b. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My mum has said the same thing. I will have friends looking out for me too.

*packs chastity belt*

I will be good. Prozac has given me the sex drive of a sloth, anyhow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

*sigh*

WH has gigs in Jersey for the next couple of days.

Stupid how knowing he is actually far away (rather than 1/2 up the road in his septic lovenest with Omelette) has suddenly made me miss him!

I'm quite cross about it, actually. Here I was, feeling all strong and empowered from my time with my solicitor, and then WH goes off far away and makes me miss him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Ratfink.

I wonder if Omelette went too.

I've always wanted to go to Jersey.

*sigh*

Alph.

I've never been to Spain. I would like to go there some time.

A little effort brushing up my Espanol and I might even be able to get around on my own.

So bring back tales of cool places to visit and things to do, OK?

Wish I could say that. I'll be sticking close to my friends to get by!


OK. I'll even put some pics up if I can work out how to do it.

Alph.

Just journalling...

I find myself thinking, virtually all the time at the moment, about what I have in common with WH and what OW has in common with him.

I know so little about the OW, only that she's Spanish, had a sheltered upbringing, and has lived and worked in the UK for two years. She teaches Spanish at WH's school, and is ten years younger than him.

WH is a music teacher - head of department at his school. He is very talented, and plays tenor sax in a band. He plays well, but his greatest talent is arranging, not playing. He didn't have a sheltered upbringing - his parents were and are quite liberal, and he was involved from his early teens in the music scene - and all that entails!

I am a SAHM, with a creative background. I am also quite musical, although I never pursued it as a career option. I understand music, though, and could talk to WH about it. We enjoy similar types of music - my CD collection, once my pride and joy, is now virtually non-existant since WH left!!! I am two years younger than WH. I also had quite a sheltered upbringing, but rebelled somewhat. Politically, we have very similar views, and are both vegetarian (I was a vegetarian before I ever met him). WH always wanted me to become a teacher like him. I never wanted to.

Now he lives with a teacher. MIL asked the OW if she was musical at all - she isn't. I wonder what they talk about all the time. Teaching. Spain, perhaps.

I understand that teachers tend to marry other teachers, and that most affairs begin in the workplace. Teachers (in this country anyway) seem to think that they have a pretty tough job (I agree, actually) and I would guess that this results in a sense of comradship which might make affairs even more likely. Hence my situation!

The OW must seem exotic to WH. He loves Spain, for a start. She understands the pressures of being a teacher in the way I never could. But what else do they have? I wish I knew the OW better, but I can't see they can have much. Politically, perhaps they have similiar views. She isn't a vegetarian, though she seems to be trying to be one, perhaps to please WH. She isn't musical. She doesn't like any of the same kinds of music that he does. She didn't grow up in this country - she has a completely different background.

WH and I used to talk a lot about the 1980's - it defined very much who we are as people. We were teenagers, Margaret Thatcher was the Prime Minister, miner's strikes, union battles etc etc. How we reacted to these events shaped us - it has always been a very important part of our history.

What history can WH and OW have? Do they even care? Can they make a successful relationship with no common background? I know that differences can be very attractive, and they represent the exotic to each other. But can this last?

I know I'm rambling. I wish I knew more about her. She's a teacher. So is he. They can talk to each other about marking books, and about which kids in the school they like and don't like. He must think she understands him better than I ever did. She does, as far as teaching goes. But what can she say about music, about his youth, about his family?

I honestly think that WH will keep this relationship going as long as he can, just because he is as stubborn as h*ll. He will want to prove that he's 'done the right thing' - even though it is so obvious to everyone else that he hasn't. He might keep it going for years and years, just to make a point.

I can't wait for that.

Ah, well.

Alph.

Edited to add: Just before WH left, as I was sitting there weeping and helpless, I said to him: 'But we've got so much in common!' He agreed and said, 'That's why I want us to be friends'.

*sigh*

But enough of mooning over stupid WH - today on my 'cheer myself up Holiday agenda' are:

* DIY pedicure, including painting toenails baby-pink
* laundry
* ironing
* chasing spiders out of suitcase
* hoovering suitcase
* looking at photos of Barcelona with girls (again)

It's going to be great. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Well, despite WH insisting that he isn't spending any money and is broke and OW is paying for everything, I see that he has taken £400 out of our joint account in the last three days.

I guess he's having a party in Jersey.

Perhaps the OW got sacked, and doesn't have any more money?

Mmwwhaahahaha!!!

Alph.

I have always held to the theory that when a person becomees a WS, the logic sides of their brains are sucked out. This means the calculator in their heads are broken. Battery is dead. Not only can they not do simple math, the WS think a negative cash balance is a good thing. YIKES!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Sorry for that reality call. It sure sucks to see a WS use family funds for an A.

One day, you will get to remind him of how much he abused your family even in a monetary way. He may not remember it but you will.

take care,
L.

Thanks, Orchid. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When WH was H, he was very good at math. Now he seems to believe in the magically-expanding pound.

It doesn't effect me, not yet anyway. I've just phoned and paid the mortgage! I am on welfare, and am getting state help separate from WH and his chaos.

And the holiday is all paid for, too. May fly back in three weeks time to bankrupcy, but I'm trying not to think about that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Alphin,
my WH has probably dones the same as yours nly it has been going on for a much longer time! 7 months of plan B and no end in sight.

Anyway, have fun in Spain. When you meet OW remember to softly call her "puta de mierda (pronounced meeairda}"

cc

I just looked 'mierda' up in my Spanish/English dictionary.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'll practice that one with my Spanish friends.

Thanks, CC!

Alph.

Your cheer yrself up holiday plan seems really nice <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The money thing boggles me too. I managed to peek into one of the bills that came in under WH's name and his cr card statement for one of the co's is at a tune of over $6.5K! And knowing that he was in debt, he was still living it up with OW and is now renting an apartment for himself. Where on earth he gets the money, is beyond me. I am beginning to wonder if he has a secret a/c stashed somewhere.

I wish I can afford a holiday right now! It'd be good to be away from here for abit.

~A

Hi Ashley.

What I don't get is why they have to blow so much money in an affair? I remember when I got together with WH - I'd just graduated, no job and WH was only working part time. We didn't feel the need to blow loads of money then that we didn't have - what is it about an affair that causes this spending diarrhoea?

Sense of entitlement? Affair love drugs? Who knows.

Alph.