The unconscious is speaking. On my bedside I have the book, A GENTLE PATH THROUGH THE TWELVE STEPS:THE CLASSIC GUIDE FOR ALL PEOPLE IN THE PROCESS OF RECOVERY by PATRICK CARNES, PH.D. I did not recall the title of this book because I had it opened to a certain page. I have had the book opened to this page for weeks. Information on this page states the following:
With no emotional rheostat, you can live an isolated, lonely existence in which you build walls around yourself, deny your own needs, and share nothing of yourself. Or, you flip to an emotionally enmeshed existence in which you are so overinvolved you feel trapped and smothered. You concentrate on meeting the needs of the another person and take responsibility for that person's behavior...A PATTERN OF LIVING IN THE EXTREMES EMERGES.
He goes on to say that THE GOAL OF RECOVERY is to move from EXTREME LIVING. This is accomplished through...
BALANCE: to avoid either-or extremes
FOCUS: to live in the present-a day at a time-not in the future or the past
RESPONSIBILITY FOR SELF: to live within your own human limits.
Sounds like what I've been calling FIGHT VS.FLIGHT...
I'm not sure how my H's A fits into all of this...
I would think that, if I was stuck in the ISOLATED mode with denial of needs, no sharing, alienation when he was in his crisis, I wouldn't enjoy a ride in the Corvette. I think he is more comfortable with my ENMESHMENT. Of course, neither extreme is healthy.
Of course, as you guys say, I need to work the 12 STEPS.. Of course....
