ty melody I am going to let her know that. I will not let the kids allow him in the house. he still has clothes here but if he wants them I will box them up and he can get them from his sister.

i really was not thinking about the house situation with the kids. But I do see whar you all mean about it.

Ty again

hurtin, a bit OT, but I have kin in Oklahoma and my mom is from Hooker. I just back there recently to bury my great-Aunt. My grandparents were farmers out by Hooker and Tyrone. Many of them moved down here to the great state of Texas since.[thats where I live] What part are you in?

hurting - My relatives came from Shawnee, Oklahoma. They left during the dust bowl, and came to good old California.
Thank goodness they didn't end up in Texas.

Does everyone have relative in OK? My H family are from OK, the NE corner. We just visited last March. I think I'll stay where I am. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

kiss my grits <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Wow whata small world.. .I live in lawton- ft.sill area

I know where shawnee is bit never heard of Hooker lol

I was just reading Grapegirls post about what she would do if WH came to her home. I just realized after reading that I also habe no legal way of keeping him from the house. We have no legal seperation or anything and this is house as much as mine. So legally I can't stop him. Now he has no keys to the house. So if he comes and I refuse him entrance what can he do? I never tought of this till now.....

Well, my WH tried to move back in 4 months after I went into Plan B. He called me at work to say he was moving back - 2 days before Christmas. Luckily Melody (the Texas gal) urged me to keep him out. I took off work, and went to court. Unfortunately the judge wouldn't give me a restraining order, but I came home and waved the court application in front of WH and he moved his stuff back out and left. Whew, that was a close one. He actually had the nerve to think he was going to move back in, and still see his OW!

hurtin, usually just making it clear to them that you expect them to respect your request for no contact and to stay out of the house is enough. If not, just keep the doors locked. If he has a problem with that, let him contact a judge.

I have been keeping the doors locked. its my kids who let him in. my son will be no problem but my daughter is the one I have to be careful of. For some reason she is playing both sides to get what she wants. I know if I tell her not to let him in , the first hing she is going to do is call him and say " Mom said you can't come in the house" she will make it sound bad. She has been playing us both and I just got wise to it. She says what she thinks will benifit her.

So I know don't talk about WH or anything to do with this in front of her becauseshe tells him everything.... Sad I know but not much I can do about it

I am feeling real good tonite. Even with all the contact WH made today I feel so good. I am so proud of how I handled myself with him. he got the message that I am not playing anymore , I took my toys and went home.

I just finished doing some more job apps on line for our local AAfes on Ft. Sill. I had no idea I could apply on line until I saw it in the paper tonite. So that made me feel productive today.

I actually laughed tonite, first time in days. It felt so good. The kids even noticed that I was happier tonite and not talking about their dad. I didn't realize how much I was talking about it to them until they said that.

so I would say, I am finally getting it and not obsessing over this so much ....

Well, rest up and enjoy your victory, because he will likely be at it again tomorrow. Just realize that any contact with him is aiding the OW. He has chosen to make his bed with her, now let him lie in it.

Meanwhile, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward with your life. And the good part is, he may decide to join you. But if he doesn't, your life will still be wonderful.

Glad u r feeling better. Love your children and then you all pledge t/b each others support. Let your daughter know that pitting one parent against the other is not healthy for her. Say it in front of all the children so everything is out on the table. Then you don't have t/d all the policing.

hugz,
L.

You are so right Orchid. I told them both last nite we have to be here for each other no matter what the outcome is.

I explained to my D why it is important that I have n/c with her dad because it hurts me to much. she seemed to understand, we shall see.

I still feel really good this morning, even though I had dreams of WH last nite. I wish the dreams would stop though they are so real feeling. I guess in time they will stop happening so much, its just because I miss him so much and in the dreams he is here holding me and I feel so safe and happy. Why can't all of this be a dream and I wake up and its all ok?


well enough of thisself pity... I have things to do today. Deal with sons school and look for work. All will be fine ...

OK....

what's the yard work he has planned...

is it something obvious like mowing..

do it yourself before the weekend...
OR
better yet...
engage friends to come over Saturday and spend the afternoon together..

the best scenario would be

1. SIL (she is your contact person) inform husband that you have acquired assistance with all yard work and he does not have to concern himself with it at all...(wording is important here)

2. Next best is you complete the yard work before Sat...and fill up the day out of home so that if he comes you are not here...

3. This option is good but could lead to a confrontation...he comes over..yard work is complete..and you are in the middle of a backyard bar-b-Que with friends...

what about going a different and letting kids have friends over..for a bar-b-q...that way daughter in engaged in other things when he comes...yard work is complete...

etc..

this is not a game..
but you have to figure out how to remove him from the yard work equasion with the most finality...

ARK

I hear ya ARK, but the problem is the yard work is removing alot of things he has brought home over the years. I am talking fuel tanks, big truck tires and huge containers that none of us can remove. They have to be hauled off to the dump. I don;t know anyone with a pickup who can do this. And I don't have the money to pay anyone to do it. So actuallt its alot of hard labor , not just easy stuff like mowing because that I can do.

If you could see what I am talking about you would understand ...

But I have made plans not to be here, He will not be able to gain entrance to the house, he can go through the gate.

I know allowing him to do this is not a good idea but at this time I don;t have much choice in it. If its not done soon the city will be writing me a ticket and I can't afford that either. So kinda in between a rock and hard spot .....

then again he has been saying he was going to do this since he moved out and so far he has done nothing about it. So who knows he may not do it now.

CRIKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

call the bio-hazard team and have them come take it away..then send the bill to him.......... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

here I was imagining a renegade rhodendrum and lilac bush..
even perhaps a little poisoin sumac...

wait a minute..you live in OKLAHOMA and don't know anyone with a truck...I smell something fishy here..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Call up Melodys KIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

ARK

sigh......silly yankee thinks all Okies drive pick ups. That is just silly! Half of em ride horses like thier Texas cousins. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> YEEHAW!!

Call a 'junk yard' .... try your yellow pages. ASK if they know of anyone who would like FREE metal junk if they come and get it themselves.

Some people drive around looking for cast-off metal junk to re- sell .

Worth a phone call anyway.

Dont' people make swings and sand boxes and flower pots out of tires...as well....

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Call the Warhol Museum and have the whole thing relocated to exhibition room three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARK