Mimi worked her buns off with her plan B .... ~and~ she also got professional help.

Follow Mimi's lead. She knows of which she speaks.

A PLAN gives you direction and positive attitude.

You cannot control the outcome, but you can steer your own boat during this journey with a PLAN that you FOLLOW.

Yes she did , I see how much hard it work it was for her .....She really deserves to be happy ....

I just hope I can do half of what she has done ..... I'm sure gonna give it my best try .....

Hurting -
YOU deserve to be happy too! And you will be again. No matter what happens with your WH, you will be happy again.
This stuff is a season that you are going through. That is all. It is not a good season, and it will not last forever.

ty for those words womanoffaith... I know I will be happy again.

Just some days its does not seem that way ... The loneiness and no companionship is so hard to deal with.... Just having someone to hold and make you feel special would be such a help when you feel so lost....

I guess it just angers me that I have to be alone through no choice of mine, and he can do as he chooses and not be alone....

Anyway's I can't sit and worry over it ..... I do know someday I will have that again with or without him..

Good morning all ...... I know not many people are on today seeing how its a long holiday weekend....

Still have not decided what to do with the kids this weekend.... I am going to go see some friends tonite just to get out of this house....

After son does his bowling league this morning , we are going to cut the yard ... Man I hate that job but its gotta be done....

So far so good on planb, he has not tried to make any contact since wed..... It;s a good feeling not to deal with it all but in a way its scary to ..... But it will all be ok...

Last night was a quiet night , no one home but myself... I played some games on pogo which I have not done for a long time... I forgot how much I liked playing canasta ...I had been so wrapped up in this mess, I just forgot how to try and have fun... It helped take my mind off this stuff.

time to get dressed and start doing something today ...

Good morning. Not everyone has an exciting life, and holiday plans. I'm cleaning the house like I do every Saturday morning. Then I'm going to do the yard before it gets too hot.

Cutting the yard sounds like a good family activity, and you will feel great when it is done.

I think that is why I got so into doing stuff around the house. It is one thing that I have control of and I always feel GREAT when it is done.

I know what you mean, its always nice to see things in order..

Now for the yard , I have never had to do it but I guess now I have no many choices in it... I am going to do some things in it to elimanate alot of the work. WH had put in so much stuff it looks like a jungle. So by getting rid of some it will make it easier to deal with.... He won't like it but to bad.... He is not here to do it...

Then I am going to clean out the china cabiet and move it back into the dining room so I can make more space in the kitchen.... Then I am moving all his boxes of clothes to the back porch which is covered and then I don't have to look at it no more...

Moving all of his stuff just seems so final, its kinda scary for me.... Its like saying to myself its over and done.. I promised myself I would not think like that today. So upward and onward I go .....

Stop thinking, and just do it. I got all of WH's stuff out of the house, and yes, he was mad. But I felt much, much better.

My $.02. Early in Plan B, there's a tendency to want to prove that you, too, have a "big life." It's hard to think of WS partying while you are scrubbing the toilets, and a certain amount of BS energy goes into putting on a "show."

It's a phase. As you become happier in your own life, you won't care on even a subtle psychological level about this stuff. While it's good to be unavailable should WH drop by -- preferably away from home -- it's wholesome to be scrubbing toilets.

I, myself, will be working at my computer most of the weekend.

Well today was not as productive as I had hoped but did manage to get some things done.... Guess I set my goals a little high.... Oh well there is always tomorrow..

Getting ready to go see some friends and play cards or something.... In fact as I was making the plans this morning my friend said we have gotto get you out of the house more.... I told her sounds good to me ..... So everyone have a great evening and maybe if its not to late I will check in when I get home....

Had a good time tonite. It felt really good to be out and around some friends. Meet them at the bowling alley and sat and talked for awhile.... And no WH was not there..... Anyhow one of the employees at the bowling alley asked me where WH was, I said what you don't know? She said know what? I told her the whole story , well anyway I exposed the whiole story today to more friends of ours I had not seen all summer.... Most were shocked and said he is crazy and why does he see in her ....

Well anyway most of them laughed and said no way is this gonna last she is nasty.... Anyhow made me feel good to expose to more people...

Well then we went out and had a bite to eat, so now I am waiting to go pick D up from work...

Going out tonite has made me feel so energized and happy... I really needed that. This is the best I have felt in days...

Good morning ,

slept pretty good last night. Had no dreams that really felt good.

Not sure what I am going to do today. Kids are still asleep. I have some jigsaw puzzles I have been wanting to do so maybe I'll get one out and start on it.

Going on 4th day of no contact. I am surprised he has not tried at all. In a way it makes me a little anxious , not sure why though.... The peace has been good for me. What does make me mad though is he is ignoring his children. He has not bothered to call them or see them since last weekend. That I just don't understand....

Anyhow I am still feeling pretty good and not constantly worrying over this as much. I won't say I don't think about it because I do, but not as much as I was... I guess a sort of acceptance of the situation is settling in for me. One minute I am thinking why do I want him back after all he has said and done, but the next minute I realize he is not really him and I love him and want this to work out....

Well anyway now with all of that said, time to stop thinking.

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Why is it you go from bad to worse in just a few minutes?

I am so angry right now... My thoughts and feeling are so flip floppy right now....

One minute I am sitting here saying I just wish he would get all of his stuff and go away I don't ever want to see him again. Then its turns to I just want him to come home...I hate how this feels....

The anger part is its not fair that myself and my kids have to go through struggling and pain while he is off having his fun and doing as he pleases..

Right now I hate him so much for this...... But I know deep down inside, I truly want him home and love him..

Damn him ..... why can't I just hate him ???????

Because honey these are all natural feelings. We love our man not the alien that has taken possession of his mind/body. So it's natural that we go through all these emotions. That is the rollercoaster. But I have learned that going into the dark as everyone calls it in Plan B has helped me deal with the rollercoaster ride. It's not as painful as it has been. The only steps backwards I have now are when he text messages me. He did again last night. He's been doing it all this week now. No responses for me. All piddly excuses. He wants his tent and two lanterns now. LOL!! In the 5 yrs together we spent all this $$$ on camping stuff and went 1 time. Now he's adamant about getting it. I guess perhaps once OW exH has the house foreclosed they will need the tent to live in.

I was able (keep fingers crossed) to find out how to block text messages on Sprint this AM. So I blocked both his and OW numbers. So that should put an end to all the nonsense.

We did see each other yesterday AM. I was on my way to the shop. Something made me glance over at oncoming traffic. Our eyes locked on one another, his mouth dropped. I immediately pretending to be looking past him, turned back and started singing. I vaguely saw a figure in the passenger seat. I was shaking when I got to the shop but quickly put it out of mind. This town is TOO small for the both of us.

You're doing fine hon...I was worried about reading that you had gone to one of your mutual hangouts. Lucky you didn't run into him. Becareful because you will eventually. Have a plan.

Hurting: think of it this way--better to love and hate than to feel ambivalent and apathetic. Then you KNOW the passion is gone. Right?

Sadie,

I was not so much worried about running into him last night. I pretty much knew he was not going to be there.... I was watching the door anyway to be safe, because if he had shown up I was going to go out the opposite door.....

Guess I been lucky he has not tried any contact since wed. so I just don't know why today has hit me so hard... I was doing great yesterday and bam here I go again...

Whats it gonna take for this man to wake up and see what he is doing????

So true imanotherone.... no truer words ever spoken.... ty

I think in my case...he thought that if it didn't work out he KNEW I would just take him back. He thought that all of our friends would just welcome OW with open arms and let her in our circle of friends. He didn't think I would expose them and the situation and all that he had done. He never expected OW true colors to show to our friends and his father. He's made his bed and he's definitely lying in it. He's quite the caged animal right now with his back against the wall. I am sure for one he can't believe that I am ignoring him, going on about business as usual. He still blames me for ruining his life, even told his father that he wanted me to go down...his father said they had nothing left to discuss and hung up on him.

I think inside...while we want NC we do want to see them attempt to make contact. At least I did at first, I will be the first to admit it. It gave me empowerment to know that he will still trying to talk to me. But now it's just gotten ridiculous and his behaviour is nothing I am willing to tolerate at this time. For him to text me on a Saturday night past 9pm about a blasted tent and lanterns. ARGH!!! That to me is grasping at straws in a lame attempt at communicating with me when he is drunk. Not playing the game. As his dad says, I have no time for his nonsense right now.

I guess my sitch is the same sadie.. I think my wh feels the same way. Well lets face it 2 weeks ago today I allowed him back home... Lasted all of 3 days and off he went with her again.

I guess your right about the N/C thing to , I want him to try. I guess in my mind that means he does care and miss me. How crazy is that?

One thing for sure no one that we know family or friends has welcomed her at all. In fact his family made it very clear to him and her both she is not welcome. So now he has no contact with his family except for one sister and she is about done with him herself. All of our friends have pretty much done the same thing, they all ignor him or are very distant to him and barely speak....

I just can't believe he feels this woman is worth loosing everyone and everything he used to hold dear to him..

And your right about another thing he has made his bed so now he has to wallow in it. I think he has gotten himself in so deep he has no idea what to do..... He is just not ready to admit to any fault or take any blame in this.... It's all still my fault and now that he is "Happy" (yeah right) he just does not understand why everyone has nothing to do with him...

I do know one thing for sure one day he is gonna regret all of this. I just pray that when that happens, all of us including his family will be able to welcome him home and forgive him.... As of right now it is very close to not happening with his own mother, she is just about written him off... He has been as mean to her as he has been to me... I just can't imagine how he can live with himself and all the pain he has caused and be as happy as he claims...