Nope she is going to walk its not far... Bit like i told her the nites her dad is there he can pick her up and bring her home.....Like I told her I can't be doing it all the time with gas prices like they are.. And damn it thats the least he can do for her when he is going to be there anyway ......

Oh, that is good. I just don't want you running into him.

I just talked to OW's husband - he is my neighbor, and is really a good guy. He was just coming home from work at 8:00PM here. We have kept in touch all through this. He says his daughter is doing well, and likes Junior High. I'm still sad for her though. Her dad leaves at 6:00AM and often works late. So she is by herself for many hours. But he is a good father, and that makes up for a lot.

you don't have to worry believer I will not be running into him... If that was even a concern I would drop her off at the McDonalds next door....

Well I am glad the little girl is doing well... it is sad she has to be by herself so much... I am sure he is doing the best he can and is a good dad....

Believer let me ask you something .... This planb thing ... just how effective are they for the WH? I know I feel pretty good today myself with not dealing with the drama. But actually do WS's feel the effects of it or do they say whoohoooo no BS to buggg me? See curiosity is got me asking dumb questions .....

Hurting -

I don't know how we are going to get this into your little head. I guess just saying it over and over. Plan B is very, very effective. It helps you get off the roller-coaster and start feeling good again. It also gives the WS a taste of how life would be without you.

I did not recover my marriage. But I didn't follow the plans here. For one thing, I had already kicked WH to the curb, long before I found this place. Also, as you can probably guess, I did lots and lots of LB'ing, and really crazy stuff.

I was COMPLETELY nasty to my husband. For one thing, he lied and lied to me. He kept telling me that he was not having an affair, even when I caught them in bed together. He kept saying he loved me. He said there was no contact. He said they were not living together, even though I saw her car at his house every night.

He told our friends, family and even our lawyer that he wasn't cheating. IT DROVE ME COMPLETELY INSANE.

Most men, and I think even my WH don't want a nasty woman. But I think my reactions drove him to cling to her. At one point he wanted to get back together, and said he needed my support to get over her. I told him "Are you feather-plucking INSANE? You want ME to help you get out of this crap you got yourself in? I just can't do it.

I talked to him a couple weeks ago. He told me that it is too late for him to be honorable, and he knows how I feel about him. He is right.

But you are still very early in this. You CAN save your marriage. Your husband is very attached. I'm sure he knows that he is looking at a downgrade. That is why you need to stick to the Plan B. Just trust us, and do it.

You are his WIFE. She is a loose woman. Deep down, he knows that.

If the interviewer has an e-mail address, send her a thank you for the interview note/card. If she doesn't write her a small note lettin her know how you appreciated the interview. Do that to the one's you like. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

ty Orchid thats a great idea ..... I would have never thought of that ....... Thats what happens when ya have not had to work for a long time .....

Believer I know your right and I trust all of you. I just get a little anxious about it all.. can't help it ....

I know its gonna get easier , and will be even easier when I get a job .... Thanks for all the support

For some reason I am feeling kinda down this morning. I guess that is to be expected. WH has not tried to contact me since wed. Thats a good thing.... I won't lie though it does make me wonder if he thinks I don't care anymore.. I know everyone tell me I am not suppose to worry about this stuff....

He did call D cell this morning to have her tell son about something he did that may cause him some trouble. Seems son took someones cell phone and now the man wants 200.00 or he will press charges. The man got the cell back but is pissed. Well one thing for sure this is something WH can deal with, he knows the man I don't. It does upset me though because as a parent I feel I should have be informed of this and no one told me about it....

Why can't he see what he is doing is causing our son to really act out bad? Son has never done things like this before , I can't believe he is so blind to all the pain and turmoil he is causing in our children... I feel in my gut this is attention seeking behaviors from our son. I know he wants his dad home,I have tired to explain to him that these kinds of actions will not bring his dad home.

Whats even stranger now WH is trying to be like the perfect dad now... I guess he is trying to make up for hs walking out on them.. Why couldn't he have done all of this before, it was always left to me to deal with all ofthe school stuff and anything that had to do with the kids. Now he wants to be involved. Guess maybe he is trying to ease his own mind for all he has done.

The only thing he does not do is spend time with them unless its at the bowling alley and they make the effort to see him. He knows son can not go to OW's, so god forbid he take any time away from her to spend some time with his kids..

Ok I am done venting now ...

Vent all you want and then drop it and get on with the day doing something to better yourself and help the kids.

Don't need to say it again, but I will. WH's actions are TYPICAL. He's doing NOTHING different than the rest. He's a selfish, self-centered alien.

Hurting:

I don't have much time this morning so this will sound blunt and to the point.

I had to learn the hard way about my teenage son.

Deal with your son or he will use this to manipulate you and to his advantage. Don't rely on your WH to handle him. Your son has got to know that YOU will step up and be a parent. Regardless of his father's wrongdoings, it is not OK for him to break rules and to use this as any excuse. Your son has to learn to be accountable for his own behavior and he has got to know that YOU will step up and be the parent.

You may be the ONLY PARENT for a long while. I think this is another ploy that your H is using, seeming like he is being a parent, trying to act as if it is OK for him to be absent, like things will go on as usual without him there. YOU ARE THE PARENT IN CHARGE NOW. It is up to YOU to deal with the cellphone issue-not your WH husband....Take it out of his hands...

Mimi,

For one thing I have no idea who this person is. This happen at the bowling alley. You know the third home for WH. He has spoken to the man and I know this man is only there on thursday nights. If I go up there then I have to deal with WH as well...

So I am not sure how I can handle this , seeing how no one even clued me in to the problem... that is until this morning... When son gets home from school today he and I are going to have a long talk.... Not sure what to say yet but I will figure it out.....

Hurting -

Expect some acting out by your kids, and get in under control. Have you bought that book yet?

Continue working on all the stuff on your list. There will be another couple of crises in the next couple of days.

You've got it! I meant for you to deal with your son and not the man.

Your H is trying to make the point that you NEED HIM and that he can do his job as a father from afar...

YUK....

Oh ok mimi I was confused by what you meant ..... I got ya now....
No believer I had to order the book.... It should be in next week I hope ....

I just feel so lost and mad this morning.... I hate that he has left me to be the only parent who really does anything for them... And the little tidbits he throws them are suppose to be ok.....

I have decided that the bowling alley is off limits for son for the next few weeks. The only time he can be there is sat. mornings when he bowls on his league. My MIl or SIL will be taking him and stay there until he is done and bring him home... I won't do it because WH is there when he does not have to work..... Glad WH has enough money to pay for all of his and sons bowling....

Hurting:

It was just my 16yo son and I during PLAN B. I made the mistake of allowing him to be too much of a confidant/friend. In retrospect, I wish I had not done that.

It would have been more beneficial for me to let him know that I would continue to be his PARENT. When I tried to step back into that role, he was confused. My WH was not there to be a parent even though he claimed to be.. Like you say, he did tidbits.. That was about all...

This all just sucks so much ..... I am beginning to not have good feeling about WH right now.... I am just so darn mad ....

I'm not sure how much more I can take before I just blow up. I hate what he has done to us all, and for this moment in time I am hating him pretty much to....

I know this feeling will blow over after I calm down, I do want my H back but this WH is really pissing me off .....

The value of PLAN B is locking your love for your H away...while he is a WH....

You need to get off of the puter and do something productive. If you'll go back and read your posts since I've been following you're story anyway, you're saying the same thing over and over and over. Worried about what WH and OW are doing, feeling, etc. etc. etc. In Dr. Phil's words - "How's that working for you?" NOT.

Now I see you've made a new thread to try and gain answers again about how WH actions might be.

Believe me, I understand your pain and frustration, but you're moving backward not forward continuing on with the obsessing about WH and OW sitch.

Start taking care of yourself and doing for yourself and taking control of YOU, other things fall into place. WH wants to see a strong woman, not someone who is weak. Are you exercising at all? Exercise (walk if you don't like to do anything else) is very, very good for the stressed mind.

I know what you all are saying .... I am not trying to obsess over this ...Some days are good and some bad , but right now they are mostly bad .... its when things like this happen it starts all over ....

Good afternoon all,

I am feeling a whole lot better this afternoon... A lot of my anger has gone away and I am in a better frame of mind....

Hope everyon has a nice weekend.... Still have not decided what to do yet but will think of something....

Planb is going well ..... Nothing happening , been very quiet here ....

Mimi,

I just went and found your thread ... I read the whole thing from begining to end..... You did an awesome job...

I was amazed at how some of it reminded me of my sitch... You H had the attachment to you for sure..... I know mine does to but after Wed. of being mad at me he has not shown it but thats ok... Anyway I was very impressed how you handled all of it ..... It sure gives me alot of hope, I now see how it can be done .......