Hang in there ladies. My WH tried constant contact at first. Then NOTHING for 3 months. Then he suddenly called me at work, and was in the process of moving his things back home!!!!!!! But he still said he would move back in, and then have no contact with OW. Luckily, the good folks here talked some sense into me.

That is what I love about this place. You can always get quick help. Here I was, working away when he called me. I posted on MB, and everyone said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
So I left work, went directly to court. I had him out by noon.

Believer,

Something in my gut tells me thats not going to happen here. Just found out WH wamts to meet with his mother tomorrow, I assume its about the house....

Seems D told him I had gotten a job with the people I interviewed with. he told his sister he heard I got a job... So now he thinks I am working.... So nowI have to have D call him and clarify things....

Seems to me he not coming out of any fog any time soon... I could be wrong but I think he is moving ahead with his plans... Its very scary to think he may actually do this.
The hope I have is continuing to fade further and further away, maybe I just need to accept this and move on...

Stop thinking. Of course he won't stay with Ms. Nasty. I wouldn't bother to have your daughter clarify your employment status either.

Go wax those floors, and clean the toilets. Then do something fun with your kids.

I know your right believer but I can't help it.... he went and saw the lawyer about the house and he told him he would have to talk to his mom.... So see he is up to something.... I just know he is wanting this house for him and OW... won't happen but still...

MIL told me she is going to give it to him tomorrow about his behavior and how he is hurting everyone... I told her he woul be wasting her breath. But she says she is done with all this mess and if he does not get his head on straight she is done with him .....

I wouldn't call and "clarify" anything. Let him get his info by rumor.

You are still OBSESSING with WH's mess. You don't know for an absolute fact that he saw an attorney. Remember words, words - - and so if he did.

Having D call him to clarify that you didn't get a job is NOT necessary. It's none of his business either way and isn't going to make any difference to him one way or the other. Don't put her in the middle and have her do it. Again, NOT necessary.

You just got through saying in a prior post this morning that WH hadn't had any contact with kids since last weekend, so how did D tell him that you got a job?

It's the weekend and he's getting an awful lot of pressure from OW. You see they have nothing else to do or talk about than WH's sitch.

The best thing you can do is keep to yourself and don't discuss WH and problems real or perceived with anyone especially D and MIL. I would be willing to bet my last dollar that you initiate the contact with MIL and other in laws regarding WH and his sitch. Fine you talk to them, but DON'T discuss WH with them.

Like Believer says - start scrubbing those toilets and clean the yard. Get yourself some exercise.

Just talked to MIL , she is like me she knows WH would never had thoguth to talk to the attorney about this stuff, he is just not like that... She says that OW must be behind all of this stuff.... This woman wants my life and home, how am i gonna stop her? He is so blind to it all .....

No actually MIL called me and SIL told her WH called and wanted the meeting....

I agree OW is pushing all of this no doubt in my mind ....

She is pulling out all of the stops it seems .... Scary stuff she is manipulating him big time .....

he has not seen the kids since last weekend... I found out D has been calling him and talkiing....

PLAN B........ DARK, DARK.

He needs to know NOTHING about what you're doing, where you're going etc. etc. etc.

I know inanutshell..... dark dark .....

Seems I can't even mention a job interview around here that he does not find out about ..... maybe D should go live with him ....

You have got to QUIT talked to MIL and SIL and hearing every darned thing about WH and what he's up to now etc. etc. etc. I think I've said this before, but I'll say it again. Stop talking to MIL, SIL and anyone else who has any C with WH about what you're up to. It's only going to get back to him and that's what PLAN B is all about - NO Contact including communication via OP.

I hear you inanutshell..... Its not MIL or SIL telling him anything , its my D and she lives her and is telling him stuff, even stupid stuff..... I have told her to stop telling him anything but she does it anyway .... What else can I do? SIL didn't even know about the interview she told him she had no idea what he was talking about.

I have not said anything in front of D about him in days, but she manages to find things to tell him, truth or not... God knows what else she has said to him....

I have not told anyone anything to tell him. I have sent no messages or anything through anyone ....

Sorry, hurting. The sad reality is that he is GIVING her your life and your home. He is the person who promised to protect you, and now he is throwing you to the wolves.

This is why you are in Plan B. You are used to turning to him for protection. Now you have to be protected FROM him.

This realization will help you stay dark.

Listen to A.M. She is right on. Right after D-day, my husband asked me to leave and move in with my boys. I almost did it.

He thought it would be just fine for me to move out of my home, and for the OW to move right in. And he is STILL thinking that way. We are going through the divorce now, and he said he wants the house (he and OW spent all of our money). He said he doesn't see a problem with her living here. After all, we will be divorced.

But I realize that it is my WH who is doing this, not the OW.

I agree completely with INANUT about the need to stop talking to inlaws...

There's no reason for you to know your WH's day to day activities. During PLAN B, I had no idea what my WH was doing...

It was as if he did not even exist...

You also have to do something about your D..

Enough is enough with her..

Hurting, do you give your children consequences for their disrespect of you?

They are causing you trouble that you do not need now...

So what you all are saying is that, he truly wants this to happen?

I can't believe he would take my whole life away from and children and not care about it....

Isn't it enough he is giving himself to her, does he have to give her everything else I have?

I don't really know what to think now.... Maybe I am just to blind and stupid to believe he really does not care....

yes mimi I do ..... I am almost to the point of telling her she needs to go live with him. I can't take much more of this from her.... I don't understand why she wants to cause me more trouble...

I just have to be more vigalent of anything I say in my own home , no matter what it is from what to cook to the color of my underclothes ... Seems he finds it all out ....

Well, of course, RIGHT NOW, he thinks he is "in love" with her..

The Purpose of PLAN B is for him to realize that he is in love WITH A FANTASY...

This has just begun...

TIME AND PATIENCE....

Oh mimi I pray you are right... I am so full of doubt right now.....

I am scared and feel so lost .....

I have to planb my butt off and stay so darkkkkkkk !!!!!

Hurting -

When they are in the thoes of an affair (think addiction), they are very willing to take everything you have away. They have no feelings, except for he OW.

It was not enough that the OW got my husband. He also spent his retirement bonus, his retirement savings, his complete pay for 3 years, and our savings on her. While I was scraping by, and taking roommates in, he and OW were traveling, wining and dining, and blowing money.

Now that the money is all gone, he wants my home. If I agree to that he says we can work out all of the rest of the financial stuff. There is nothing else!!!!!!

So never be surprised what a WH will do. Treat him like you would a heroin addict.