Hurting,

I am in PLAN B, too. I am experiencing the same feelings as you. Just thought I would let you know that you're not alone. Hugs.

had a wondeful day today.... Got a lot done. Went out to a little town about 40 miles away and saw some old friends...

Had dinner with MIL had a nice time. We laughed and talked seemed like old times.... Darn i feel good today ....

Welcome to Plan B.

Oh Happy Day!

Just got a phone call from a dear friend of mine, her partner is in the hospital. They found a brain tumor. They say its deep in her brain and not sure of a course of action yet....

This is very upsetting news for me ... As they are very dear friends of mine and WH's....

this sure makes my problems look very small compared to theirs... Told my freind to stay strong and I will be there for them both... Please everyone say a prayer for my friend tonite.....

Prayers being sent. I'm so sorry.

ty believer ... I appreciate it very much ....

Wel things here has taken a turn. Yesterday WH had decided he was going to leave OW and stay with his mom....Well today that all changed he is still staying with OW for the next 2 weeks. He is getting a new job in two weeks. He is going back on the road as a over the road driver. One thing about it he will be by himself.

I am hoping the time alone will help him make his descion of what he wants.... He said yesterday he wanted me to go with him and be together. He said he has aways loved me and always will... He was willing to leave the OW and have no contact. He also said yesterday he was not happy. Well today that changed and he says he does not remember saying it. He is happy with OW.... I hate the lies and him saying he does not remember saying things.

Well today everything has changed, he is still leaving for the new job but now he does not want me to go, he says I do love you but not like I used to..... He said you love me and OW loves me I am so confused I don't know what to do.

So I told him thats fine do what you need to and when you have made a descion you let me know.... I told him I was done with all of this and the lies or not remebering what he says. I am glad he is leaving for the road it makes planb so much easier for me.....

I only talked to him because he told me what he wanted and I went with him for the job interview. He even put me as his emergency contact and used our address.

I have no idea what the outcome is going to be, but I am hoping him getting away from here will help clear his mind and he can see what he is doing to our family.... One thing about him being gone is he will be gone for 3 and 4 weeks at a time.. Maybe being away from OW he can see her for what she really is....

In Plan B, you should not be talking relationship with him until the OW is out of the picture and there is no contact. I made that mistake. My WH told me over and over (and over and over again) that he loved me and would end things with the OW. He never did, instead just sucked me dry.

But like I say, by tomorrow your husband may change his mind again. He is very confused.

But you are allowing him to steadily break Plan B. Each time it is for a real good reason, but for all intents and purposes you have NOT been in Plan B.

your right believer I know it and we were into day 6 of it and I was doing well then he came to me with his promises. He is really going on the road again. I don't have a problem with that, I am glad for it.... he says he is going to stay out for 3 or 4 weeks which he used to do all the time. He wants the time to be able to think without having anyone telling him things... He said he is tired of always someone saying something to him about me or OW. He says no matter what descion he makes someone is going to hate him.. Our friends and family if he divorces me and her friends and family if he leaves her. He says all her friends say to him how mcuh he has helped the OW and how happy she has been since she has been with him. I know he could sneak in and see OW and I would never know...

but anyway he knows I am tired of this and am done. I told him the next conversation I have with him will be when he has made a descion and thats it.... I can't do this anymore....

You have a long term relationship with him. The OW does not. IF he goes on the road (and I will believe it when I see it), it will be better for your marriage. I'm sure she will get bored and move on to somebody else's husband.

I hope your right believer.... He is really going he gave two week notice today. and I was with him when he got the other job.. Remember he has been an OTR driver for 12 yrs of our marriage and he misses it... So I don't doubt he is going.

MIL says to me tonite, if he loves her so much why is he leaving her? I said you got me...

I do agree she will find someone else fairly quick because she isn't going to like him being gone.... maybe not right away but she will ....

Well, if he goes, that is very good news. Stay in Plan B and let's see what happens next. There may be troubles in LALA land.

I am staying in planb believer, I can't take this turmoil anymore. I am starting to loose what little bit of respect and love I have for him....And I don't want that to happen.

I do know him leaving is a good thing for me because then I don't have to worry over running into him at all. I also know it will make me feel better because then I know he is not with her everyday. Sounds selfish but who cares.... I am used to him being on the road so to me its nothing new...

I do believe there are trouble in lala land but he won't admit it. He did say yesterday that he was not happy but recanted that today, so who the heck knows whcih is the truth.He did say that maybe he will get him his own little place to live. I said why ? He says because that way if things don't work out with OW I have someplace to live...

He told MIL tonite that he is going to make sure she gets the house payment every month and he is happy I will be living here..... She is like why is he so concerned with paying her the money if he does not want to be here... I said who knows his head is so screwed up now nothing makes sense...
So I am looking very forward to him leaving... I will miss him but one thing for sure I can't mess up planb with him gone....

They may have had another argument, and that is why is was more friendly, but then they made up. Who knows?

Buy some popcorn and sit back and watch what happens next.

I'll say it again. Typical WH behavior. Nothing out of the ordinary. He's following along the pattern. Now, you have to stay on task. NO MORE talking.

Your right thats about all I can do for now... I sure don't want to be in the middle of it anymore...

he was telling me yesterday that SF is not happening as much as I thought it was ...I said really? He says it only happened one time last week. Now I know my WH and that is definatley not enough for him.. Now he may be lying so I will feel sorry for him... If he wanted sympothy he didn't get that for sure.... but if its true it won't last long, seeing how thats something I know is one of his top 5 EN's.
Then he tells me that as he lays in her bed staring at the wall, he wishes it was me with him... I just wanted to shout at him , so do something about it.. But I figured it was babble , trying to make me feel bad for him...

Anyhow I don't feel sorry for him at all.. He is getting what he desrves if its true....

I can't imagine what will happen next... I do know I have at least 2 weeks before he leaves on the road, so 2 more weeks of laying low here.... Oh he wants me to find the title to the car so he can transfer it over to me. I guess he figures he better do it before he leaves..... Whatever!!!!

your right inanutshell..... I am leaving him alone and I told him so ..... I said reread your letter and let me know when you have made a descion, until then I am done with this drama.... he says I know you love me and want me home.. I said your right but up until you can make the descion and prove to me thats what you want , I am done talking to you or seeing you .....

So now its a wait and see what he does next game I suppose .....

My WH told me the same cr*p. Ignore it. He told me he used to lay with OW and think of me. He said he had horrible nightmares that I was running from him, and he couldn't catch me. All the while, he knew what he needed to do (NC) to come home. Your husband is just trying to get you to feel sorry and give him a little.

Whatever is right. I can't stress how much he is following the typical WH pattern. He'll continue to BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE. He doesn't know the difference between the truth and the lies.

DON'T fall for it. It'll slow "progress" (for lack of a better word). Remember that. PLAN B

He's still staying with OW remember. Just keep that thought in mind. PLAN B.