Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 62 of 96 1 2 60 61 62 63 64 95 96
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Actually never really thought about that.. I did a few on line for the military base here. I will defiantley check it out due to high gas prices .... ty Orchid


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Sorry to say this..

But tell your son that worse things can happen to him...

He'll be fine..

He has a Mother and a Father who love him....

My FWH didn't even visit our son....


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Your right mimi things could be worse ....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
So are you getting everything tidied up around the house? I went to the garage sales this AM and got a 9X5 Egyptian rug. I love it. I picked some roses from the yard, and cleaned up the house. Now I'm cooking for tonight.

So I feel good to have everything done. Hope you are staying busy.

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Actually I just got home from having lunch at MIL's ... My SIL made Cannaloni it was real good ....

I have a few chores to do this afternoon, because I won't be home tomorrow morning.... Not sure what I am going to do yet but I am leaving home....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Sounds like a plan. It is better to stay busy, doing ANYTHING. I let all my friends know that I was available for whatever. I did some things that I never would have thought I would enjoy, and had lots of fun. It is very difficult at first, but gets easier and easier.

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
I am sure it will get easier. The main reason for leaving the house is because WH is going to be around the neighborhood .. He is picking up son and getting some of his tools from the backyard and then seeing his sister who is going to go over money matters with him. I have typed up a financial plan to use when he starts his new job. It basically is so I will know when and how he is getting money to me.

So I decided being away from here is the best thing for me, no chance of running into him....Plus I owe my g/f a visit anyway ...

WH picked up D a few mins ago .... So I called her cell to find out what time WH was going to be here in the morning... All I got was I'll be there when I get there... grrrr that makes me so mad , now I have no idea what time to get out of here before he shows up ..... what is so hard about picking a time to come ?

Last edited by hurtinginokla; 09/10/05 07:50 PM.

BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Is it to much to ask for a little consideration? It's not like I asked him to move home or something.... I am so tired of being treated like this. I get treated like this while the homewrecking OW gets all the good treatment....

its time like this I wonder why I even care or want to work on this R.


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
Once again you're allowing him to control what you're feeling and/or doing. It was a no-no, as you more than likely understand at this point, to call D and ask what time WH was going to be there. That's making C no matter how you look at it. And.. all it did was cause you grief. Also, you put D in the middle and you've asked her not to discuss WH and his goings on with you. So you just gave her a mixed message.

Yes, it certainly would be nice to know what time he'll be there, but since you don't, you either need to be prepared to leave when he shows up or be gone early in the morning.

IMHO - You should have removed his tools and personal belonging from the house and hauled them off over to MIL or SIL. Then he has NO reason to show up. What the heck does he need tools for? More than likely doesn't. He's done this long without them. KWIM. It's an excuse.

And have that house and everything sparkling clean.

Last edited by inanutshell; 09/11/05 06:58 AM.

BS/47 FWH/42 Married 22 yrs Kids - S30,SD23,SS22 OC Born - 09/08/04 C with OC - SS It's an UPHILL CLIMB
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
I am leaving the house here very soon. As far as the tools go I don't have any idea what he needs or why and I don't care.

The house is clean and neat. I also have put things up in my bedroom and am locking the door when I leave.... He has no key to that room... I am making sure he can't get in there.

This plamb is so hard , I just want to tell him off so bad at how he is treating me with disrespect. Probably would not make a difference anyway....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
You're right, it wouldn't.

Again, he doesn't NEED any tools. It's an excuse.

Remember, DARK, DETCAH and DON'T ENGAGE


BS/47 FWH/42 Married 22 yrs Kids - S30,SD23,SS22 OC Born - 09/08/04 C with OC - SS It's an UPHILL CLIMB
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Not to worry I am not engaging in any way .....

I will be strong and I can do this, I have to .....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
This planb is so hard , I just want to tell him off so bad at how he is treating me with disrespect. Probably would not make a difference anyway....

[color:"blue"]"telling him off" would HELP HIM [/color]

Every time you engage in his drama, you help him by providing stupid justification for what he is doing

such as:

"See? she's so unreasonable"

"See ... she is a nag"

"See? She is too bossy and controlling"

"See .... she doesn't understand me."

and on and on and on

"Telling him off" plays right into his hands.

RESIST doing this now and forever .... it makes you feel good in that instant only .... later you notice the egg on your face

control yourself

Last edited by Pepperband; 09/11/05 08:28 AM.
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Not to worry pep I am nt going to say anything to him at all.. I will not be here when he comes to get son or his tools.....

He is at SIL now she is going to call me when he is on the way and I can be gone by the time he gets here.....

I know your right it will just make things worse, but your right about one thing it would make me feel good for only a minute or two....

Control is hard to do when you hurt so bad, but I know I have to do it......


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
All went well, I left the house WH came and got son and some tools and left.....

I was down at MIL's house, he saw the car but didn't try to stop..... I never saw him or his truck so I did good....

Was very hard knowing he was so close not to engage him in someway. I am proud of myself being able to stay away and not catch at least a glimpse of him.

this is so hard .... I miss him so much

He will be leaving on the 26th of this month to start his new job... So that means he will be on the road by himself for at least a few weeks without seeing any of us... I hope this gives him some time to start clearing the fog some...

Last edited by hurtinginokla; 09/11/05 11:41 AM.

BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
I just got back from seeing my friend in the hospital. Seems they are going to transfer her to a hospital in Texas. Not sure where yet though... They still arn't to sure what the mass is in her brain yet .... Could be advanced MS or a tumor of some kind....

Please everyone pray for her.


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Dear hurting,

Glad to hear you could visit your friend. Sad to hear her of her condition. Time spent with friends are just as precious.

Hugz,
L.

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 249
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 249
LOL...giving stuff to WS day here at MB!!

Did the same thing here today, except Skippy (his new nickname) brought over the stinky thing with him. I sat on the other side of the fence watching them load up!! Oh I SOOOO wanted to say something but I bit my tongue. I knew stinky thing was coming with him because she keeps her boy toy on a tight leash.

Well it's done now...he has all his stuff that he's asked for and even more that I found.

We did good girly...we did good.

So sorry to hear about your friend. I'll keep her in my thoughts.


If you love something, set it free. If it comes back its yours. If it doesn't, it never was. You can't make sense of insanity...definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Lisa
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Yup we did good !!! That really takes some nerve though to bring her to your home. I think if that was to happen here I could not stop myself from saying something to her. but of course the OW in my casr knows me and she is afraid of me ..lol Not sure why I have never done anything to her but let her be afraid....

I am just waiting out these next 2 weeks and WH will be gone for a few weeks, so I can relax some and not have to worry over him trying to contact me.... In a way will be a welcome relief. I need the rest ....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
it would make me feel good for only a minute or two....

kind-of like eating a sugar donut .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Page 62 of 96 1 2 60 61 62 63 64 95 96

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 125 guests, and 43 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Gastelumattorney, Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro, annonymous
71,895 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Really Struggling
by BrainHurts - 11/15/24 03:48 PM
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Love the engagement ring
by BrainHurts - 10/22/24 09:30 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,460
Members71,895
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5