Believer I am glad your so sure he will be back.... I wish I had that much faith in him and our R.

I want it to happen but I can't put all my eggs in one basket so to speak... I am still reserving that little spot in my mind that it will never happen ....

I don't mean to sound unoptomistic but I do have to be prepared for that.

I am doing better believer, I am not as focused on this as have been in the last months... Yes I think of it everyday but its getting better.... I actually watch tv now and read ..I can actually concentrate on something else.... I was beginning to think that would never happen...

And what are you doing this week to make a great life without him?

Actually if you call cleaning the wash room and cleaning the fridge great, thats what I will be doing.....

Monday hitting the pavement again on the job serch... So thats about all of it in a nutshell.....

a womans work is never done !!!!!!

Sheesh, small world. I cleaned my refrigerator out today, and did a good job. It looks GREAT now, and I feel good about it.

Seems we have more in common that the A's our WH's are in .... We both collect pigs and clean fridges for fun. lol

Gotta take D to work.... will check in later

Sweetie - We have LOTS in common. My people are from Shawnee. We both collect pigs, and clean our fridges when we absolutely have to. I'm so proud of mine - it is gleaming. Makes me feel GREAT.

Well mine will be gleaming tomorrow.... Today was wash clothes so I didn't have to go around in my p.j.'s all day ... Don't think that would have went over in walmart very well ....

Way to quiet here tonite. Kids both gone and dogs sleeping....

I gotta get a social life going somehow... sitting home at night sucks .... Most of my friends are either bowling on the weekends or doing married couple things .... And we know I can't go to bowling alley at this time, you know who is there ....

Yep -

You can't go bowling, but there are lots of other things to do. I'm not going to feel sorry for you one bit. When WH had the affair, my whole world disappeared. My step kids were too uncomfortable around me. I lost touch with my grandkids, because OW was at every family gathering.

My kids were grown, and didn't need me any more. But I went on to have a GOOD life, a HAPPY life. And hon, I am MUCH older than you. So I don't want to hear any excuses.

No matter what is going on with our spouses, life is still good.

I can totally relate honey...I've given up my one little passion, darts...at least for the time being and also now our mutual group of friends, sans my best friend who also is now a business partner. I've let go of everything just for a little peace of mind. Funny, he was the one looking for peace of mind or so he claims.

We're going to be okay...I wish you were closer...so much going on here this time of year. State Fair at the end of the month...festivals, etc...but you'll find other things, other interests...and in the process we'll both learn more about us.

WS was born/raised in Claremore and Tulsa...this is a small world.

Oh yeah life is good and I am glad to be alive. I am not real good at going places by myself never have been. And to be honest there is not much in this military town to do ... thats is unless ya like hanging out in bars.... Not much recreational things here except movies and bowling ....

And heck I can't afford to go to the movies...

Its not so bad being home, I do watch tv and I have started a jigsaw puzzle. I love doing puzzles in fact its a family thing.. We start them and do them as a family... I would just like to have some adult company to talk to.

You might just have to learn how to go places by yourself. It can be done. One of the things that I have enjoyed the most about having my husband gone is doing what I want to do. It is wonderful.

My WH is a Harley lover, and most of our activities were involved around that. I mean like every weekend.

I loved to ride, but like other things too. Since WH has been out, I have been having much more fun. I have learned how to SCUBA dive, been horseback riding, been to art shows, bird watching, played cards with friends, etc. These were things that I could never do before, because WH wasn't interested.

I have also done volunteer work with the casualties from Fallujah, worked with battered women, and read to kids in school.

I have found myself. Hope you do too.

Evening Sadie,

Yes it is a small world. I am sorry you had to give up something you enjoyed so much because of the mess your WH has brought upon you.

Really sucks when we are the ones who did nothing wrong , and have to alter our lives so much to survive. One thing for sure it will be easier for me when WH leaves back out on the road and I don't have to worry about running into him.

Oh yeah I have learned alot about myself since this started. I have learned I can survive without WH its so hard but I can do it... I always thought if he ever did this to me I would be done and had told him that may times. well I found out thats not the case, I actually want to save us and can fogive him at least for now... So I figured out I am stronger than I though I ever could be. and I am sure more revolations will come in the coming weeks....

Oh I will believer I have no doubt. Its just going to take a little time to get used to not being part of a couple. All my friends are married and I am used to doing couple things. I will learn to do single things for myself in time.. Right now I just am not ready to do that... That does not mean I am sitting here crying all the time about this, I am doing things in my home and yard and for now thats fine with me...

It gets better a little each day. And in time I know I will be fine.....

Is there really only one bowling alley in your town? If so, where's the next closest bowling alley?

yes actually there is only one bowling alley .... nearest one would be like 40 miles away in texas ...... Good size town but mostly bars and fast food joints..... military town ya know ....

there is a bowling alley on the post but I am not military so I can't use it ..

I didn't sleep well last nite. I was feeling pretty good last night until WH dropped the kids off. My son came in the house and was upset and gave me a hug. I asked him whats wrong? He said " Mom, Dad upset me." I asked him why? Seems WH told them " If I divorce your mom, it dosn't mean I don't love you kids." Why does he keep telling them thsese things? This is the same man who let his son believe on Tues we were going to be together as a family again.

I just wish he would stop telling the kids anything he is making them so confused. Especially our son. I understand the babble but my son doesn't, I have tried to explain it to him but he just does not grasp it. My daughter on the other hand seems to be figuring it out a little better. She said to me , mom dad is so confused and talks crazy.. She said one of these days dad is going to regret all of this. I told her I am sure he will.

So now I have an upset son on my hands again. I don't know what to do , or what to say to him now.

BABBLE - - that's all it is. Remember, you can't control what he does, what he says or how he acts. You can only control how you react to it.

There are no answers to why.

DETACH, DARK, DON'T ENGAGE

I'M BACK!

I caught you...

You are continuing to let the kids talk to you about him and you are wondering why you are down?

HURTING, I'M YELLING AT YA.....

There is no need to have these conversations. Believe me, the kids are putting a "spin" on what they tell you...

Tell them you are not interested in hearing such talk..

His time needs to spent focusing on his R with them. That's it. If you stop entertaining such conversations, there will be no need for them to report back to you...

One of the most important lessons I learned through this:

I CAN ONLY CONTROL MYSELF....

Welcome back Mimi hope you had a wonderful time....

Not sure if ya noticed but things have sure changed in the last few days in my sitch.... WH going to go back on the road and all kinda bull....

I know babble it is ....I understand that but my son doesn't ... I was not upset by what he said I was upset because my child is upset....

anyhow we will get through this ....

Have you tried using the internet for your job search? Go to sites like: careerbuilders.com, monster.com, hotjobs.com or just do a search on google for jobs in your area. I did most of my search from home. Saved on gas and wear 'n tear on my shoes. LOL!!!!

L.