Just talked to SIL... WH has left and went home..... she said everything went well. He listened to the tape and became upset... She said he never tried to blame me or justify anything.... She told him we were putting son in counseling and he was fine with that. He said he just wants son to do well in school and get the counseling...

I want son to get the counseling to , but it makes me wonder if WH thinks because that happens he does not have to accept his responsibilty in all this... and that it will make everything better for son and he won't have to do anything?

So anyway OW has an upset WH on her hands tonite, who knows his son hates the OW and wants him to come home. And now also knows he does not want to see him for awhile.... wonder if he will tell her whats up ???

thank you for that Eav. We have tried very hard to give all our children morals and know right from wrong.

And then this happens and goes against everything we have taught them.. I wonder how someone who always loathed anyone who did anything like this now has become one of the loathed himself.......

But one thing for sure my children all know this is a sin and are learning a very hard lesson right now. And I do believe that they will carry this lesson always so they don't repeat the sins of the father....

DD just had a conversation with WH. Seems he asked her how she was feeling about this whole situation. DD told him how she wants him to come home. She said that she wants us to be a family again. He told her that he has been put on the backburner for the last few yrs. she told him how unsafe she feels with him gone.... He gave her a bunch of babble about her moving on with her life and all.... He was still justifying everything. He did say the way he left was wrong.
He told her he would never come home. he never said anything about the D word. So now all you experts give me some insight. Am I sitting here waiting for a man who will never come home?

I think you should be painting your livingroom and cleaning the toilets, and not trying to figure out what is going on in his poor fogged out mind.

believer,

I know what you mean but I am just wondering is it fog still ? He also told her that OW has made it very clear she still loves her H. But it will never work after being seperated 6 yrs. He told DD he does love me but not like he used to .....

ad I just thought of something else when he was telling her this stuff he was calling from OW's house so I guess he had to say the right thing to keep peace.... Now the love things he told her this morning in his truck. No OW around...

Believer I know most of it is babble but is it possible some it isn't?

It's all babble. My husband wrote me twenty letters telling me how much he loved me, and was coming back. That was babble too.

Spend your efforts on something worthwhile.

Nahhh....your WAYWARD is precisely the type of Wayward who will be back (please DO NOT ask me to qualify that statement). It is not an IF...just WHEN.....Grind it out, stay in Plan B....STOP USING THE KIDS CONVERSATIONS TO FIND OUT ABOUT WH and GET YOUR WH "FIX".....THIS IS NOT PLAN B.

You will surely get another chance with your Wayward..HE WILL COME BACK. Please trust me on this. There are 2 state boards of Medicine and 4 hospitals who have granted me privildges to do surgery.....so someone thinks I am at "least not stupid"....It (WH return) may not happen tomorrow or the next day, but I certainly have "faith" it will happen. If I was a betting man, I would lay a "dime" on it to happen. As you get better about the obsessing about him, you will less feel the need to ask these questions.

In the end, it doesn't matter what he decides to do, you have to go on living either way.

Lem... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I feel honored that LM has posted to me.... and I thank you for it to....

I know my obsessing is getting out of control...

I know I have to stop its just so hard......

I still have lots of hope....

Hope is good. Have you scrubbed the floor today?

Are you kidding..... I vacumed but that about as far a floor cleaning goes around here..... Plus its been raining and muddy puppy prints are coming in and out the doggie door.... So maybe tomorrow it will get mopped...

yep Hope is good...... I was kinda hoping with him asking the kids their feelings that maybe he was maybe just maybe starting to move from the fog a little bit.... Guess not huh???? I thought maybe just maybe he was trying to feel them out about how they would feel about him coming home. Guess not huh???

why do I feel like crap now? I have hope still but after knowing he told DD he would never come home I feel so crappy.

I truly wonder sometimes is it really fog or just the truth.... I know he is confused but wow I just can't imagine someone being that confused. Last week he loves me like no other and now its I never am coming home...

Why is he the only one who does not see he is not happy???? I just want to wring his neck.......

You feel like crap because your partner of 24 years is having an affair with a skank. Who wouldn't feel like crap?

But your feelings are not going to help you get back your husband. You have to make your life pleasant, your home pleasant, and your family happy. And yep, it's not fair. But you are the only one who is thinking right now.

Your WH is temporarily INSANE. Got that?

Right now he thinks he is making the right choice to be with miss kooze, but it won't last.

In fact, I will be very, very, very surprised if he does go on the road. After all, deep down he knows she is a liar and a cheat. He knows he can't let her out of his sight.

Oh he is going .... He already gave his notice to his job.... I sometimes wonder maybe if this his way out from her. ****** who knows...... I am still confused myself ...

I'll believe it when I see it.

In the meantime, get some rest, and don't worry about all of this stuff. It will only drive you crazy.

I feel like I am there already lol But on that note I am going to bed ..... Good Night and Sweet dreams Believer

That reminds me ... DD was telling me that her dad let her read the letters OW has written him, the same ones he had me read last month. Plus she said there was another one that was written when he was for those 3 days, telling him he knew what he had to do to come back to her.... Which I assume was the divorce babble he told me ....Now why is he letting his 18 yr old DD read that crap???

Where's your Plan B? Plan B knows nothing about his fog-rantings to your children or to your SIL.

You don't need to know this pack of lies any more than you need direct contact.

your right Kayla I know that all of this crap is not things I should hear.

Kinda hard not to hear part of it when DD is talking to him on the phone in the same room. And yes I should not have listened to SIL but it had to do with my son and I have to be sure he is ok with the encounter he had with his dad. I know everyone will say excuses, excuses but when it comes to my kids I have to be sure they are ok and try and defuse any of the babble he gives them.

they don't understand its fog and babble they believe what he says. so I have to be able to let them know he is confused and not to take it all seriously. Yes in time it may prove to be serious. But until then I have to protect them and try to explain his rantings.

Day 8 ...... its still raining here so that makes the day even worse. I have done well I have not really wanted to call or attempt to make contact myself... I have not had the urge to anyway. But even before planb I was not doing the contact anyway he was. So far he has not tried to make contact either.

I won't lie I would love to see him and talk but I know all I would get is more lies and babble. This is getting easier to deal with , now if I could just stop obsessing about him and what he is thinking I would be ok....

Hurting:

This is the type of thinking that is not good for you. I learned that WE cannot comprehend the R between OW and WH. He might use this as an excuse to get consolation from her. The less drama the better. YUCK!!!

Your right mimi this crap is crazy stuff...... Did you seethe post about WH letting DD read the love letters OW wrote him? Why would he do that? Thats just sick ....