I'm doing something dangerous....it's called thinking! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

There is a lot of stuff packed up in your shed and washroom.

You need money.

Where are you going to get it?

My solution: Have a yard sale!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Told ya' I was dangerous! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

A yard sale .... Not to sure I would get much ... I have yard sales in the past and never made much at it .....

I don't think I could sell his stuff to me that would be like a bigggg LB.... I know he deserves it but I just don't think I can do that ....

thanks for the idea though

YARD SALE IS A GREAT IDEA!!!!



Where did this come from? PLAN B IS WORKING!! He is struggling to make this work...He is panicking..He is hitting his bottom...

BACK UP ON THAT HORSE, HURTING....

DON'T LET HIM BRING YOU DOWN.....

How is it working mimi? Explain this to me ????

he is becoming distant and mean .... I don't get it

I will be glad for him to leave on the 26th ... no one will be seeing him or talking to him .... So I won't have to worry about hearing anything ....

Sounds like you are panicking..Calm down...take deep breaths...



THINK...

What were you expecting of him after one month of PLAN B?

As I said before, you have continued to be too involved with him. It would be better if you had no idea what he is doing....

In fact, you REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM...

LB, my foot! When he comes back for the right reasons, he will understand.

You could just tell him that you had to pay the bills somehow, since he was spending bill money on the OW's car payment!

And, BTW, make sure that if you DO have to file for financial reasons, you include the OW's car payments being made out of marital funds! Half of that money is YOURS!

Actually I guess in my delusional mind I was hoping he would be missing me and want to make things right ...

I really had no idea he would become like this .... I also figured he would b happy that I have let him do as he wants with no input from me ....

Mimi, I will admit I am scared ..... My brother is making some calls for me to try and get me some help legally for the money issues.... I hope he can make some headway ...

I don't have proof he is making her car payment I only have what he told me he was going to do .... He said he had her account number for the bank and was going to put money in her account .....

Sorry, Hurting... The point is for him to hit his bottom...for him to begin to suffer..

Oh how I remember Mortarman encouraging me to let my H SUFFER....

Remember my H went from his condo to living with the OW in the ghetto...trying to make it work...I didn't know this at the time...

It gets worse before it gets better...

SORRY...



How do you know all this? Before PLAN B?

Really, it's hard to guess what he may be doing...you don't even want to know...

You can rest assured that it's not going to be in your best interests...his only goal right now is to maintain his high...just like a JUNKIE....

YUCK.....

yes before my true planb ..... he told me this when I had my planb slip up .....


I can't imagine this getting any worse....

I don't see how he is going to suffer with him leaving and being all by his lonesome on the road. Only resposibility he will have is to make sure he gets where he needs to on time.....

I guess running away is the only way he knows how to handle all he has done .....

HURTING:

YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO FIGURE HIM OUT!!

IT IS NOT LOGICAL! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

JUST KNOW THAT ANYTHING HE IS DOING IS OUT OF DESEPERATION...TRYING TO MAKE THIS WORK...HE WILL CRASH..IT WILL FALL APART...

WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CRASH WITH HIM...

YOU'LL BE AROUND TO HELP HIM PICK UP THE PIECES OF HIS LIFE, IF IT'S NOT TOO LATE.. OR YOU'LL BE FINISHED WITH HIM...LIKE MY FRIEND,GEORGIA..SAD TO SAY....

I want to be there when he crashes mimi. I want to help him ....

I want our marriage ....

I just pray its not to late when he does crash ....

I can and will hold for as long as I can ... I don't see me giving up anytime soon ... But not sure I could wait for yrs ...

One day at a time....

I'm trying ..... truly I am ...

I know you're trying and you are doing just fine....

I will try to stick around and push you back up on the horse..

You sound so much like me...

Mimi,

I am just so scared right now ... I can't help but feel I have pushed him away for good ....

I know I am probably wrong, but he is being so distant and cold. its just the way he has cut my money...

And I know my letter stated no contact bu I truly expected him to at least try...... Not that I would have responded but he has not tried at all since lat wed. well except for the call last night for DD.

Is it normal for them just to stop trying ????? I just worry maybe he is really done.....

From my understanding from my FWH:

Early on, he felt free. He acted mean out of the guilt that began to set in. He had to take a look at himself and what he was doing. He didn't have me around to blame and to justify his actions..

Early on they are struggling to try to make it work and the infidels have to take a long, hard look at each other..

This is too early for you to expect him to try to reach you regularly. If it makes you feel any better, he tried to reach you on the cell and he did...

If this is going to work best for you, it will be important to distract your mind off of him in some way...

I tried everything I could think of...

I worked out a lot..

Do you have exercise tapes or anything?

Is there a track where you can go to walk/jog?

I joined a book group at Barnes and Noble. The group was free although the books were not.

How about your local library? Do they have activities? Anytime I would think of my H and what he was doing, I would try to literally shake the thought off..try to pretend like he didn't exist...

I started going to church regularly again after first feeling shamed and got lots of prayers and support there...

I told anyone I saw: "My H left me for another woman"..I recall finding that to be liberating...

You see what I mean?

I undersstand what you are saying ... I know I have to stop thinking of him .... Its just so hard....

I have done a lot of hosue cleaning today and while I was doing that my mind was off him .... But I only have so much house to clean....

he was trying to reach DD and he knows my cell is all we have for now..... But why he thought she would answer it is beyond me.... It was like he didn't recognize my voice.. He thought I was DD...

Oh I tell everyone who asks about where is your H .... I don't lie about it to anyone .... from the 7-11 people on down .....

I have seriously consided starting back to church .... I am so ashamed to have to face god in his own house with this .... i know I did nothing wrong but I did play a part in break down of my marriage. I have been taking my dog for a walk in the evenings when its cool enough ...

I am trying to keep busy ... but I guess hearing his voice last nite and then this money thing threw me for a loop today .....

Temporary set back my friend, time to move forward...for each of us...that's why I can now understand the importance of NC more than ever. I think you do too. It is just an emotional rollercoaster when there is ANY form of communication, whether intentional or accidental.

Maybe when he is on the road it will be easier for you...a little more comforting to know that he will be all alone, with OW. You will rest easier and not find you are focusing on them. It's hard in small towns to avoid this kinda of stuff.

Time to stay focused on you. I think the yard sale is a lovely idea...can you Ebay anything perhaps? I know many people are quite successful on selling on Ebay. Church is also sounds positive...great way to also get out and meet OTHER people.

There is always the balloon festival and Oktoberfest both going on this weekend here...DD15 and I are booked for the weekend with all these events.

Lisa ,

I know its been a rough day here. But it will get better...

when he is on the road he will be by himself , she is not going .... She has a job and a 13 yr old D to care for....

I just want him to go so I don't have to hear any more of anything.... No one will be in contact with him, well with the exception of OW if he calls her.... That is unless he has gotten a cell phone I don't know about.... which if he has I don't want to know....

I am off to the store for now ..... take care Lisa ...

You have made a comment on here, several times, that I keep wanting to address.
You say "Maybe he really is done."
Hurting, in his mind, this day, this hour, this minute, he is done. He truly thinks he is done. But that is not the point. I am sure that he has told many people that he is really done - my WxH said it - I am sure Mimis WH said it. And I am sure they meant it, at the time. Your situation has been a little different in that he has come back a couple of times, for about 24 hours. But that is unusual. Most WS's say "I am done" the day they leave, and they never plan to come back. How else could they justify living with the OP, going out in public with the OP, going bowling, with her, etc. He could never tell his sister and friends that he is "just not sure if he is done or not" and then justify what he is doing.
BUT
The day will come, when he really truly can look at the mess he has made, and have regrets. At that point, he will remember that you have been the light house, showing him the way home.
He thinks he is done.
But that is not the point.
Remember that all WS's follow a script,and yours has been no different. He has been paying you less money now. That is part of the script! I am sure that OW is putting a lot of pressure on him. She wants him to support her financailly - but the reality is that he can barely support himself! The bubble is bursting.

Now - get back to church!

I KNOW how you are feeling - like you contributed to the breakup of your marriage, like you failed somehow, and God will be mad. That is just not true!! Our Lord loves you, cares for you, and wants to welcome you into his arms. You may have made mistakes in your M - but you did not make your H cheat on you! Your H has a free will - and he gave into the temptation to cheat.
You also have a free will, and you can use it to accept the forgiveness that God has for you. Go to church. Sing the songs, listen to the message, and come out refreshed.