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It is good to prepare for the worst, but I don't see it happening. If I had it to do over again, I would have just gone on with my life, and skipped all of the drama. The things that you feel like doing are usually wrong.
So just stick to the program, and I think you'll be just fine.
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yeah the drama can really get you down. I am glad to be out of that now.... But in reality I have not half as much drama as some of these people I read about....
WH has never called me a bad name , yes he has gotten angry and said he is done like 500 times but that always goes away once he calms down.... He has followed the script pretty good though as far as everything else goes. So actually the most drama I have had has been pretty mild compared to some I see on here.....
Of course alot of the drama I have endured has been of my own making by worrying and obsessing so much. Trying to read into everything and all the what if's.... I still do that some but I have gotten a little better about it .
Last edited by hurtinginokla; 09/19/05 10:16 PM.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 27,069
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Your husband is quite attached to you, and that is a good sign. Many won't have SF with their wife. They suddenly feel the need to be "faithful" to the OW. What a hoot!!!!!
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Well that has not been a problem with him for sure... And I would be willing to bet you if I called him to come tomorrow he would if he thought he could get SF from me....
Sometimes I think maybe I should give him one good last round of it before he leaves and give him something to remember.... But I won't ......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Well, I think it is better to stick to Plan B. I fell off the wagon for SF, and so did Zizzy. We are both ending up divorced.
Time to let the OW meet ALL of his needs. Let's see how she does.
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Posts: 3,609
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Posts: 3,609 |
I know believer,I am not going to do it....
anyway it just hurts me to much when he leaves..... I can't do that anymore to myself ...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Be prepared that he might try to contact you before he goes. Stay dark.
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Posts: 3,609
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Posts: 3,609 |
I will ... I am pretty sure he might try .... But then again he has done good so far about leaving me alone....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Yes, but big events like going on the road, and Christmas, sometimes make the WS long for home. Just keep that in mind.
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Posts: 3,609 |
Oh I will believer....
until I hear the words its over with OW and he proves he wants to come home and then gives me a N/C letter I am not budging at all.... I want MC but not sure how that will work if he is on the road ..... I also thought if he still is on the road and wants to come home.. He will have to agree for me to go with him for a good long time to make sure N/C stays in affect until I am sure he is through with withdrawl and all and is committed to making it work ....
What do you think about that plan?
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Sounds good. I don't think the affair will last once he is gone. OW will get bored. As you know, it isn't an easy life.
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Posts: 3,609
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Posts: 3,609 |
I kinda think that myself.... Who knows though she seems to have her claws sunk in pretty deep right now.... Ok so that speculation on my part but it sounds good ....
We will just have to wait and see ...your right its not an easy life at all. And I raised 3 kids doing it ....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
We'll see. Something tells me she is not going to be staying home waiting.
Have you seen how pretty the moon is tonight? It's beautiful here.
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its still hot here..... I went out a little bit ago and it was still yucky.....
Darn dogs were barking at a freaking cat....
So no I didn't look at the moon......
Oh and as far as her waiting at home I think you may be right... She is a party girl, she used to go out to bars, clubs, etc and pick up men.... But WH won't know he will be gone.... But I think if she can find another sucker he is gone .....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 3,609
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Well today I wil be taking the application back for the job. I am trying to wait until late morning to do it. I just don't WH there when I take it back. Its hard to know when he will be in the office waiting for a load...
I will admit I am very nervous about all of this. I want the job but am I going to be able to handle it if I get it?
I just want a normal life back. I still feel like my life is in limbo....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Get that application in, and stop worrying about it. Then put another one in for another job. I just have a feeling that things are going to start turning around for you. Keep moving forward.
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Posts: 3,609
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I hope so soon believer....
I just want to be happy again...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Right now, you are living without him. See if you can do things to make yourself happy now.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
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OP
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Posts: 3,609 |
I really think getting job will help me a lot.
I am trying to be happy but its so hard... I just miss my life and H so much...
it just makes me so mad that he can be happy while I sit here in misery...
So getting a job I am sure will help a lot in making life more normal.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
You need to get past the misery on your own. It can be done. It took me a long time, but my life has been great for almost 2 years now. You cannot depend on him for your happiness. Do the things that you need to do to take care of YOU.
You WILL get a job. Also make your home a warm and safe place.
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