Orchid I agree totally with you... I thought about it today after talking to a friend of mine....

I shouold be more afraid than him .. he is the one who betrayed me and I should have more fear of him doing that to me again than he should have of things going back like they were...

Well seeing how I am in planb no way of giving him that message now.... Sure wish I had thought of that before planb...

And your right he is very unstable right now.... he flops like a fish out of water..... Pretty darn sad actually to see someone who was so strong turn into a blubberng idiot with no idea what he is doing ....

Orchid - I did the same thing. Right after D-day, I took WH off as beneficiary on my life insurance. I made sure I wouldn't get run over by a trash truck and leave him lots of money to spend on the OW.

I have a question and I don't want anyone to get mad but I just have to know.....

seeing how my WH was one of the WH's who always was in constant contact with with me since D day up until last tme he moved out Aug 18. we still had some contact. Anyhow I fell off planb wagon 2 times and had SF both times... Now my questions is for someone who had so much contact is it normal for him now not to even try since I have planb in full effect? I am just curious as to why someone who had contact so much now just won't even try.

I am not obsessing I am just curious ....

Maybe he's afraid you'd bite off his head if you tried. Maybe he doesn't want the humiliation of having his contact rejected. Maybe he wants to break you down...

maybe...maybe...maybe...

You can only fix you. Why aren't you in Plan B? You aren't supposed to be thinking about him. Why do you want him to contact you? Why do you think contact would mean something, without him ending the A (the only thing that would mean anything you care about)? Why do you want to continue playing these games with him?

I know I am not suppose to think about it , but its something that happens and thats the way it is.... I just can't put someone who I have shared my life with for 24 yrs out of my minds like he never exsisted.

I am doing the best I can with it. I don't want to play games with him , I just want this over. I know it won't be over on my time table and I have to accept that. I am not contacting him and I am not asking questions about him to anyone.

yes there are a lot of maybe's and I will never know the answers to a lot of questions. But I am still going to wonder and ask them anyway.

Hurting - You are doing very, very well for being so early in this. Your husband is acting like they all do. First there are attempts at contact, and then NOTHING. But be assured that Plan B is working, and your husband is thinking about things.

Thank you believer thats all I wanted to know.... I just want to know he is thinking and trying to figure things out ...... One way or the other

Didn't mean to sound harsh.

it's ok A.M. I am just have been having a rough time with this . Its just been very hard to try and forget.

This planb is very hard for me , I have never had to in 24 yrs have to go so long without contact with my H.

I know he is a WH right now and can't be trusted to do the right thing but when I look at him I don't see that. I know it will get better as the days go by. I guess I am having the withdrawl symptoms from him.

Someone talk to some sense into me now.... I want so badly to call WH and wish him safty on the road. I am having a hard time not telling him to be safe and goodbye...

I would feel so awfull if something happen and I never said anything to him. This is killing me here.... I really don't know if I can do this....

Don't call him. Don't help the OW meet his needs. He KNOWS that you love him. He needs the to have the harsh reality of not having you in his life.

Let him feel life without you.

Get busy doing something else today.

Hurtinginokla, please don't do it. I know it is hard, and there is seperation anxiety going on in you right now, and I wish that feeling would go away, but you would only defeat the purpose of the Plan B that you have begun again.

Love, Lady

I've been thinking that he will definitely miss YOU and think about YOU on the road given the special memories he has of that time with you and the children. OW does not share that experience with him.

HE WILL MISS YOU EVEN MORE IF YOU DO NOT CALL HIM!!

Like everyone has said, he definitely knows that YOU LOVE HIM...no doubt about that....

PRAYER is the answer for you now...

Put your faith in GOD..HE will take care of your WH....and YOU....

REMEMBER: THE KEY IS FOR HIM TO SUFFER...

You don't want to relieve him from his suffering....

Thank you all.... I know you are right , this just hurts so much.


Mimi your right he does have those memories of us being together on the road. And I do hope he thinks about them often. I want him to suffer and realize what he needs to do. I know if he suffers enough it will be easier for him to leave OW maybe not painless but easier.... If he decides to leave her that is.....

I will be so glad to start counseling on Thursday and I hope I have a good counselor you can help me through this. All of you have been wonderful but I know I need a live face to face person to talk.

Lady I guess your right it is seperation anxiety. Years ago when he first went on the road I had the same problem. But wiihin a month or so I was ok.... But then again I saw him every few weeks for a few days. Of course I am alot older now and been married many more years than I was then.

Again ty all for being here .....

Well seems things have not gone well for WH today. He was suppose to pick up the kids to spend some time with them before he leaves. DD is ready to go. WH called DS and DS didn't want to talk to him and refused to go with him anywhere. DD has called WH but he is not answering her calls. Guess he is not home. Seems he is getting the planb or at least a modified version of it from our son.

I really feel bad for DS that it has come to this for him with his father. But maybe thats what has to happen for WH to get it...

Stop feeling sorry for WH. He is experiencing the consequences of his own choices.

Go clean the bathrooms. Mine are sparkling.

I'm not feeling sorry for WH I am glad he is feeling this. I am feeing sorry for my children that they have to endure this.

And I already cleaned the bathroom... it is sparkling as well .....

Hey hey. The side effects of an affair - a sparkling clean home.

Hang in there Hurting. Your time is coming. Something tells me that OW is not going to "adjust" to WH being gone.

I hope your right believer ...... I am praying your right

I am feeling pretty bad for DD right now . She has waited for him to come pick her up. He has not called and cancelled or anything..... I can't believe he can just do this to his kids.....

Is he leaving tomorrow? Probably has to spend the day and evening with the kooze. Don't worry about it. Tell your sweet daughter that this is how the WS acts.

But don't worry, he will be thinking of his family.