|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
He finally called her back. Seems he fell asleep and says he will see her tomorrow night, he is doing orientation tomorrow and leaving tuesday. She says he was unhappy because DS would not see him. anyhow he has to come to town tomrrow to get some stuff and is coming to see her. I will be nowhere around....
she was very upset and told him so. I said good for you....
I do hope he thinks of his family and how he has hurt them all. He deserves to be hurting and thinking.
Last edited by hurtinginokla; 09/25/05 11:07 PM.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
When will the dreams stop? I have not had a good nights sleep in days. I just dream of all this crap all night. Some good dreams some bad.
I just wish my my brain would stop thinking when I go to bed.
I just wish WH would wake up one day and have a revolation of what he has done and say " I want to come home, I made a bad mistake and want to fix it."
As my mom says wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills up first...
This is so hard .......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316 |
"I just wish WH would wake up one day and have a revolation of what he has done and say " I want to come home, I made a bad mistake and want to fix it."
It's not that simple and NOT easy when that does happen.
When's your IC session begin?
BS/47
FWH/42
Married 22 yrs
Kids - S30,SD23,SS22
OC Born - 09/08/04
C with OC - SS
It's an UPHILL CLIMB
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
I know its not that easy inanutshell ... just wishful thinking...
I have my first IC on thursday at 3... I am actually looking forward to it.... I know it will be helpful....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Hurting:
You are having symptoms of depression and PTSD..
I'm praying for a job for you, to get health insurance, to get some ADs...
Counseling will help as well..
It's safe to take Benadryl at night to help you sleep better...it's the same as the over the counter sleep aids...and is not habit-forming...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
I will try that mimi. I think your right about the depression for sure. I just can't let this go no matter how hard I try. I just feel so helpless and hopeless.
I just want this over. I feel like this will never end. One day I feel like he will come home someday and other days I feel like its over for good. I keep looking for signs he is feeling the pain of this and I see nothing. I think when he took all of his clothes last weekend and left nothing here it made me feel like it was done. I don't know if its done or not but it sure felt like it wen I came home and all was gone. At least with his clothes here I felt some hope now its gone..... I truly thought he would never come get them, I was devestated when he did. He actually did get the storage unit.... So now I don't know what to think.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Staying busy is the answer..
Get out of the house...
Go job hunting...
I really got into flowers and houseplants. Reminded me that "life goes on..."
Any new enjoyable activity that you always wanted to do?
Any craft stores in your area like Michaels?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 249
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 249 |
That's the problemo...you can't think...remember you can't make sense of insanity...(my new motto honey!!)...
As hard as it is and trust me you know how hard it is for me...you just gotta Let Go and Let God. Sally turned me onto a cool website yesterday....www.coping.org lots of wonderful reading there when you have time. I have PostIts up all over my desk area.
I think the AD will be an excellent idea for you...and I will keep saying a prayer that you will find a job. That will be a huge distraction for you.
I know it's hard honey...all of us have been through it or are going through it. You have a huge group of people here that care about you.
Big hugs my friend!!
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back its yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.
You can't make sense of insanity...definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Lisa
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Ty Lisa
I know your right I have to let god handle this. It like everyday is a new problem.
I am so tired of all the problems and turmoil, I just want to be able to rest and not worry....
Maybe a lobotomy would help !!!!! lol
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Well I am happy to say WH came through and got the kids this evening for a little while. He pulled up to the house and blew the horn he did not even get out. I was surprised needless to say.
He dropped them off about and hour later. DS got the mail from the mailbox and WH procedded to open some of the bills. He told DD he would give me money on friday. Now I know the bills have his name also but I thought that was not right of him to open the mail and look. Maybe I am being to sensitive about this but who does he think he is? He left here without caring about the bills, so why look at em......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
I think I may have a job!!!!!! The owner called tonight and wants to see me in the morning.
He interviewed me on thursday when I put the app in. So I am praying I got the job. Its not the best job in the world but it is something....
And I decided if I have this job, after I get my bills caught up I am going to get the money together and file for CS and Spousal support from WH.... I am tired of getting what ever he wants to give me......
Let reality start sinking in ....... hit him where it hurts the most....... $$$$$$$$$$
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Hurting - That is such good news!!!!!!! Now go to bed and get some sleep. And take that job if it is offered. You can always stay for awhile and get another one. I have just had this positive feeling that something good is going to happen for you.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
ty believer I am hoping this is the break I need. I am going to take the job is offered thats for sure.
Now if the rest of my life would turn for the best I will be doing great. I'm getting to the point now I feel not much hope anymore for my marriage. I hope I am wrong....
Anyhow the job is going to be a godsend for me. I will let everyone know as soon as I do......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Well just got back .. should know about job in a day or so.... Keeping my fingers crossed ...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
well WH has left on the road. Why do I feel like crap about it? I have not spoken to him since the 8th of this month. I did peek out the window last night when he dropped the kids off. I know I was not suppose to but I just wanted to see him.
He is suppose to be gone for 3or 4 weeks before he comes in. The kids are pretty sad he will be gone for so long. Its not like he really did much with them but at least he was close if they needed him.
I can't believe i have actually pulled this planb off as well as I have for the last 19 days or so. It has been so hard. I sure hope its been hard on WH as well, but who knows.
Anyhow I should know about the job in a day or so. I am hoping it works out for me. I do need the distraction of it to keep myself moving along.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Yay!!!!! You did it. Now figure out some ways to stay REAL busy. Now that he is not with OW, sit back and watch what happens.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Yup I did it.... And man was it hard......
I wish I had as much faith as you something is going to happen.... But I'll be watching for it....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Hope things are going well for you tonight. I think you are going to start feeling better soon. Now WH is away from OW. You know, I really didn't think he would go. Might be part of his plan to figure himself out. We will see.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Yeah he really went. I am doing ok with it. It does make me happy he is not with her for now.
He does say he is confused and not sure what he wants and that he needs this time to think and figure it out.
He told DD to tell me he loves me and misses me. I just don't know what to believe anymore.
I feel he has done the right thing for himself. I just hope and pray he makes the right decsion.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
It is unusual for the WS to leave the OW like that. Usually they want to grovel in the mud rutting like pigs, as Melody says.
Now is the time for YOU to do the things you need to do to make a nice life. I'm sure you will get a job soon. Also organize and clean. Spend time with your kids doing fun family things. And don't tell me you can't without your husband.
The bowling alley ought to be okay to go to again. So get busy and start enjoying.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
439
guests, and
67
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,489
Members71,947
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
