by hurtinginokla on 9/19




by hurting on 9/28
I think this is the beginning of a good sign.
I think this will be a good time for examining his life/family. Men on the road have a lot of time to think!
As difficult as it has been, you are doing a great job hurting. I have a 15yr son, 20yr D, and a 3 yr old S.
Please say "hi" to hurting2 for me. She is so bright.

I found a ladies bible study group yesterday on "Mind of Christ", and I have to tell you, it was just what I needed. I went there with my mind so filled w/ anger, resentment, and bitterness because of the things my H has done. I came home with my mind totally at peace, encouraged, and uplifted. I think a miracle happened to me while I was there.

Love and Prayers,
Lady

I am doing really well actually. I feel like some of the pressure has been lifted. I hate to say it but him leaving and being without OW on a daily basis makes me feel wonderful... I like you beliver was shocked he would leave her as well. Of course he left his extra stuff in her home but that means nothing. It also makes me feel like he must not have the feelings he claims for her or he would not be able to leave.

Lady I hope your right and this is the beginning of good things to come. At least he is admitting confusion and not knowing what to do. DD is sure he will come home someday. She is very optomistic. Wish I had her faith.

Anyway life must move forward and things are looking up. I am getting better with each day that passes.

Thank you all for your support.....

Sounds like you are doing much better now. Your post this AM sounds so much cheerier than those last week. This I noticed and you have come a along ways so far.

I know you will hear back about the job and that is really good news. We knew you could do it !!

I don't know if I have told you this, my WH is an OTR also. He just started this last fall and I too was surprised that he "left" OW in this manner. Of course, my sit is not like your's but our WH s are both OTR. My biggest problem in all of this is that my WH will not admit to anything. I have had to fill in all of the blanks with what little info I can find. (alot, actually)

Anyway, I am no expert at all and many others are posting to you with their expert advice. I just wanted to say hi and that I can tell you sound so better today. My WH is gone OTR and I like it. I don't have to deal with him everyday. (sit different)

Best regards - you are doing great <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Carnation

Carnation

I am feeling alot better now that he is gone. I know thats because he is not with her 24/7 anymore. Thats not to say he won't be later on. I feel this is a postive step for him seeing how is living with her. Thats what makes me think things are not all that rosy with her. I just feel if he was all that happy he would not have quit his other job and left her to be on the road. I could be wrong so I am not putting all my eggs in one basket so to speak.

This has not been hidden from me at all. Thats one thing I can say. His confusion is something he has admitted as well and he just does not know what he wants at this time. I am hoping for the best but not expecting it so I can be prepared either way. I do know he loves and misses me as I have been told that by him several times before planb, and he has also told my DD this.

Now its just a matter of time to see what happens. You take care and I hope things work out for you as well.

Thank you for your kind words. I, too believe that your WH is very confused. I feel that him being on the truck remembering the times the two of you did drive together will work in your favor. It just has to.

Please try to continue staying dark. This approach seems to work quite well. He will miss you, he loves you - time alone will bring this all to the surface.

I am certainly no expert one bit, I can only say what has worked not worked for me in my sit. And, our situations are a tiny bit related. The trucks and all. I think me willing to go along on the road with my WH is a huge factor in him "choosing" our M. The OW is a school teacher with small children and she is unable, unwilling to go with him. I, on the other hand, quit my job to go with him. Which - I really do not like at all. But, I can't tell him this, so I am stuck. I am supposed to go out with him next month which I am not looking forward to. Oh, I like it some, but there are alot of things about it that I don't like. But, (I guess I am a CA too !!!) I just can't tell this to him because this was a big thing for me to do - quit a long time job to join him. grrrr it never ends, this A stuff takes alot to recover from.

Did not mean to blab too much. Just wanted to let you know a little about my OTR sit. I hope I am not intruding on your thread. Sorry if I am.

Best regards - Car

Carnation,

I hope all those times we spent together in the truck do help. He knows I am ready to go anytime he wants me to. Of course I would not go without a commitment on our M and N/C with OW.

OW here could not go either seeing how she has a job and 13 yr old daughter. And his c ompany will not allow anyone but family members on the trucks. So she could not go anyway...

I enjoy the truck and he knows it, so maybe just maybe it will trigger some good memories.

He did come by here yesterday on his way out of town. Which was a surprise to me since I thought he had already left. I was walking down the street to home when he showed up. So he saw me and spoke. He said to me I do miss you. I told him me to, but you need to leave. So I hope that was not enough fix for him to throw me back. Was unavoidable seeing how I was on the street no where to go...

Anyway he is gone now so no worries about that happening anytime soon.

Don't worry about intruding on my thread. Seems we have a lot in common with this OTR thing....

Take Care

Oh HIO - What good news. I think that is a very good sign him coming by to see you before he left. See ? yesterday was such a good day for you. Job and Wh. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pretty soon you are going to have to change your name to - RecoveringinOkla !!! I know this is going to turn out the way you want it to, and better than you can imagine.

Best regards - Car

Well actually his excuse was to get his sheets for his truck and pillows. Oh and his maps... Bad part though is I am in planb and it was broken... So now I have to be real dark. Should be easy with him gone ...

So it may set me back some. I hope not.... If I could have gotten aweay from him I would have...I did finally make it back to the house and away from him, but not before he could tell me everytime h esee's me he gets so aroused because he is so attracted to me... So see not to sure what he is actually missing..

I had DD get the sheets and stuff for him..... Of course he could have gotten sheets from OW I would think..... I said to DD what OW does not have sheets nad pillows he could use?

So I don't think he came by here just to see me.... He has done a good job since Sept 8 to leave me alone.... He has sent samll messages with the kids though like how he misses me and he does love me... So I am not sure whats in his mind anymore....

I hope he means it but who knows ...

Actually, I think it's GOOD that he saw you yesterday before he left...

I think it was done on purpose, unconsciously if not consciously...

OR BETTER YET...it was part of GOD'S PLAN....

You know how I believe HE'S WORKING THIS OUT FOR YOU...

HE, meaning GOD....

I know you feel that way mimi. I also believe this is true.

I just am so scared now I have knocked this back some because of it .....

Post deleted by hurtinginokla

Post deleted by hurtinginokla

well I tried to move everything on one thread and it kinda got messed up ..... Oh well

Mimi is it possible for me to email you ..... I really need to say something and i am not confortable postingit for all to see ..

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
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Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823893 - 09/28/05 03:12 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Why not? It probably will help somebody here...

Tell me why not...

You probably went and did something....

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2823896 - 09/28/05 03:14 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



yeah I did ..... I don't know how to go about telling it all. I really messed up

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
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Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823901 - 09/28/05 03:18 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I know what you did...

I don't blame you...

I did the same thing during PLAN B...

It probably did not set you back...

His responsiveness to you is a GOOD SIGN...

NOW TOTAL DARKNESSS....

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823904 - 09/28/05 03:19 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Ok here is what happen.... He came over as I sai and I did tell him to leave, which he did.....
But then he called and wanted to take me out to eat before he left and I went.... Anyhow OW was waiting at home for him and he didn't seem to care.

So anyhow he didn't have to really leave until this morning. So he went to OW's and got what he needed for the raod his clothes and stuff... He was back here in 45 mins. it takes 15 mins to drive one way to her place.

Anyhow I am so ashamed I allowed this but he spent the night with me and he lied to OW and told her he was leaving lst night. So I was with him from 7:30 last night until 6:15 this morning when he left.....
I know I blew it big time and now probably have caused myself to go backwards in this..... But it felt so good and right.. I have not slept in his arms for months and I slept so good ...

OK now give me the 2x4's .. I screwed up big time

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823906 - 09/28/05 03:20 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



He was still talking about how confused h eis and how much he thinks about me and misses me..... I just didn't know what to say except that he needs to come home and work on us .....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823912 - 09/28/05 03:22 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I don't blame you at all for this...I understand...

I don't think it set you back that far...

I'll get back with you when I have more time...

It's a good sign that he's coming back....

Sounds like my H's pattern....

But really now TOTAL DARKNESS...

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2823915 - 09/28/05 03:24 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



your right total darkness from here on in should not be to much of a problem with him gone ....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823918 - 09/28/05 03:27 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Now he surely will be missing you on the road....when you are dark...

Not bad...

You followed your gut....

How can we fault you for following your wifely instincts on this?

You know yourself that this means that the OW is failing to meet his needs....

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2823923 - 09/28/05 03:29 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I sure hope so ...... I hope I did the right thing ...

Something in me told me I needed to be the last person he saw when he left town ...... He kissed me before he left after I dropped him at his truck and then pulled up beside me and waved and smiled at me.....

I was feeling real good about it all, until I realized maybe I shot myself in the foot and caused a set back....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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CSue
Member


Reged: 03/26/02
Posts: 1708
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823927 - 09/28/05 03:32 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



pssssssssst....Hurting,

I think you gave him so good lasting memories to take with him on the road!!!!

--------------------
"The actions you speak are louder than your words!"
Author unknown

"Miracles are seen in light."
From "A Course In Miracles".

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mimi1254
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Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823928 - 09/28/05 03:33 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



No. Really. I think it is good...

Remember my rendevous at my H's office?

IT WAS NOT JUST SEX......

Your H longed for those memories of YOU to take with HIM on his trip...

Now when he calls you...DO NOT TALK TO HIM....

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

Edited by mimi1254 (09/28/05 03:34 PM)

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2823933 - 09/28/05 03:39 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Yesh actually Mimi I was reading that again today to make myself feel better..... Believe me i read your thread alot to just understand where I am in this....

I tell you what it was mind blowing for sure..... I do believe he was even shocked by it .... Oh when I dropped him off this morning I told him to be safe but I did not say I love you .... Was that a good idea? He told me to be good .... he didn't say I love you either ....

Don't worry I will not talk to him at all...... I am dark dark now ....

TYcsue for that, its exactlly what I needed to hear from people.... I was so afraid I messed up and maybe ruined everything ....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

Edited by hurtinginokla (09/28/05 03:41 PM)

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sexysadie
Member


Reged: 08/14/05
Posts: 242
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2823935 - 09/28/05 03:46 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I am standing here in my shop doing my happy happy joy dance for you darling!!! WOO HOO!!! I'm behind you every step of the way...I'll keep saying my prayers for you!!

--------------------
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back its yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.

You can't make sense of insanity...definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.


Lisa

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: sexysadie]
#2823945 - 09/28/05 03:51 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Lisa my friend ......

I hope I did the right thing...... I am praying so .

Its the first time I have actually had him agree to spending the night since he moved out with her.... I was shocked I really thought he would not do it .....I thought for sre he woould want to spend his last night in town with OW.

Actually whats even funnier is she didn't bowl last night just so she could be home wit him..... Heck all he did was leave the truck terminal come straight here and get his stuff and then went straight out to her and got his clothes and was gone from there....

I just hope someday soon he gets all his stuff from her place and does the right thing .....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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sexysadie
Member


Reged: 08/14/05
Posts: 242
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2823953 - 09/28/05 04:01 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



You went with your heart and gut.

I'll continue to say a prayer that he comes out of the fog while out on the road...and that he brings himself home to you and your heart and home.

--------------------
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back its yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.

You can't make sense of insanity...definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.


Lisa

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: sexysadie]
#2823964 - 09/28/05 04:12 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



thank you Lisa that means a lot to me ..... I do feel it will happen sooner or later.....

I think last night was something meant to happen... Because believe me I was very unprepared for it.

We did talk a little bit while eating about us.. I did tell him that I have forgiven him already and thats the truth, I also reinforced the fact that I will not throw this up in his face but the one thing I said maybe I shouldn't have was that I understand his fears of things going back to how they were. I let him no that my fear was thsi .... " WH the one person in the world I trusted the most is you, you took my trust and betrayed me." So if I can put that fear aside to work on our marriage, why can't you put your fears aside? Because my fear greatly outways yours.

After saying this to him I expected anger and justification. I got none of those. He was not angry at all. I think he was dumbfounded actually.... He really could not say anything.... So I expected him to then go to OW and not stay but as we were leaving IHop he said I'll be back in 45 mins or so will you be here to meet me?

So I guess the talk we had did not upset him at all... Not saying any of it sunk in but at least no anger or justifying anymore....

Now its just a matter of time ...... To see which way this goes

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824010 - 09/28/05 05:19 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



One of my major lessons that I learned about my H throughout this whole scenario even up to this day is:

HIS ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN HIS WORDS....

Focus on what his actions have told you..will tell you....

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824011 - 09/28/05 05:21 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



You all do realize I am the one who asked him to stay the night? He did say do you think thats a wise idea? I told him it was up to him, either way I would be fine with it. I did give him an out....

Well he chose to stay so Iguess thats a good sign, right?

Man I hope I didn't mess up to bad..... I just wanted him to have something great to remember when he left..... I felt being with me instead of OW his last night in town would be good.... I wanted to be the last person he saw as he left not her......

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824016 - 09/28/05 05:24 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I am not sure what they told me mimi..... Was it just for sex or was it because he wanted to be with me???? i am so confused now ..... I don't regret it at all , I feel since his actions were to be with me and not her that it means this is where he really wants to be .....

Of ocurse if it was just for sex I guess he could have left and went back to her or just left and slept in the truck .... I truly believe he was happy holding me all night he never moved away from me.

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824033 - 09/28/05 05:41 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



You've answered your questions in your post...

WARNING: You will now go withdrawal from him and will be hurting...

Regardless of how much it hurts, NO MORE CONTACT!!!!!

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2824038 - 09/28/05 05:45 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



So far mimi I am not hurting just scared I did the wrong thing.....

Actually I have felt very good today about this.... Not saying it won't happen later but for now I am fine with it....

So I answered my own questions .... then I am thinking this is were he wanted to be..... Because I don't believe its just SF with him..... He is attached of that I am sure... I also believe he is scared of losing me and now I have to make him more scared by going way dark .....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824051 - 09/28/05 05:54 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



You've got it, Hurting...

Another lesson I learned was to TRUST MY GUT....

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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winterkisses
Member


Reged: 07/15/05
Posts: 237
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824057 - 09/28/05 06:01 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



((((((((((hugs)))))))
you didnt do anything wrong- you love him and he responded- its human and love.
Hopefully he and my h will wake up and come home to their wives and not the ow.

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2824058 - 09/28/05 06:02 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



well thats what I did last night.... My gut told me this was th right move and I needed to show him I do want him and love him and that I do forgive him.... And the forgiving part is something I don't take lightly and in my heart I have done that already and he knows it.....

I will never forget but I can forgive and move on without using it as a weapon with him.....

I find it hard to understand how I can have already gotten to the forgiving stage while this is going on. But I am at peace with forgiving him at this time. I think it is the one thing that has kept me going on is that I can and do forgive this.

I was afraid to post all of this today because I really expected a lot of flack about it. And I am sure I still may get some, but one thing I know is I had to trust my own instincts in this one thing and it felt right.....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824061 - 09/28/05 06:05 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Oh winter I do hope your right for both of us.... I see great hope in your sitch as well......

I think detaching and going dark from my WH is starting to really scare him. And now that he has had a little taste and I go real dark I am hoping this will knock him on my side of the fence.... yes maybe I fell a few steps behind now but one thing for sure he definatley has something to remember and think about.....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824088 - 09/28/05 06:54 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I am having a reallygood feeling about all of this.... For some reason fear is not in my gut today....

I am remembering the smile I got this morning as he drove off, it looked like my H not the WH....

You know I think is easier for me now due to the fact I was used to him being gone on the road. So since I know thats where he is, its kinda feels like it used to when he was gone..... Plus knowing he is alone and not with OW I know makes it easier on me.....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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believer
Member


Reged: 09/20/03
Posts: 11170
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824102 - 09/28/05 07:30 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Well, here comes the flack. You forgave him, and he is still continuing it. What sense does that make? Forgiveness should be when he stops, comes home, and is your husband again.

You are teaching him that you will forgive him for continuing to eat cake.

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: believer]
#2824110 - 09/28/05 07:47 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Well you are probably right about that. And maybe I am wrong in it but its something I felt I had to do for myself to keep moving forward.

Maybe I am wrong in telling him this as well... But it is something I have told him before I ever started posting here. I told him the first time he moved back home.... I f orgave him for the betrayal and breaking my trust not for cake eating.... When he came home the first time I told him I had forgiven him and was wanting to trust him again. He broke the trust again , but I have not taken my forgivness from him. Maybe I should but its not something I feel I can do or want to do...

I know he chose to do what he did and I know it was wrong and hurtful but I could not walk around with hate and anger inside myself, so I chose to forgive and show I am a better person for being able to do that.

Maybe someday I will regret it but I don't think so...

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

Edited by hurtinginokla (09/28/05 08:01 PM)

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824200 - 09/28/05 09:58 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Is there a way to link these threads together? Or should I just copy and paste to get them all together?

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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carnation
Member


Reged: 01/02/05
Posts: 301
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824252 - 09/28/05 11:36 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I agree. I think it is a really good thing too. Under the circumstances - ya did good !! I am very happy for you. I know you must feel like a queen.

He is coming around. It is working out perfect. Just stay dark and leave him with the fond memory of the "night"

I am smiling for you !!

Car

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: carnation]
#2824253 - 09/28/05 11:40 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Ty carnation for those words of encouragement...

Not to sure I feel like a queen right now, I am happy to have the memory of it for sure...

I do hope he is coming around, but I can't be confident in it.... I don't want to be let down so I am not having high expectations for now....

I would love to have them though , but have to protect my heart right now.....

But so far everyone seems to think it actually was a good step in the right direction for him ...only time will tell..

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824353 - 09/29/05 07:36 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Well Mimi you were right, I am in a little bit of withdrawl now. It didn't hit me until last night when I went to bed.

I smelled him on the pillow and started crying. It's not as bad as it had been before, but your right it hurts. I'll be ok and it will get better.

I am glad there is no way for me to contact him, it sure makes it easy for me to do the right thing.

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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ladysheep
Member


Reged: 06/13/03
Posts: 855
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824414 - 09/29/05 08:51 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply




Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am remembering the smile I got this morning as he drove off, it looked like my H not the WH....


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



This is another good sign. I don't think what happened with his over night stay is a bad thing. And he will be calling. How did your children feel with his overnight stay?


Love, Lady

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824422 - 09/29/05 09:01 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Mimi,

I was re-reading your thread this morning. The one diffrence I see is your H was talking to you about coming home when you had your office romance. Mine has not said anything to that affect... The only thing I get is he is confused and not sure of what he wants.

I am not hearing anything about wanting to come home. I saw in his actions he wanted to be here. I hear he misses me and he does love me but those are just words.

So is it his actions of wanting to be here night before last the thing that lets me know he wants to come home at some point? I just am not sure anymore. It had been 20 days of a good planb .... I am staying dark , I have to now. I still am shocked he stayed with me and not OW his last night in town. I sure wish she knew it, I can only imagine how that would play out for them....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824427 - 09/29/05 09:05 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Lady,

My daughter was here and she was happy about it. My son was at SIL house. No one else knows about this but everyone here on this board. I have not told his family because I don't think they would have approved because they don't want me hurt.

Myself and DD are keeping this to ourselves for now.... His family wants us back together but I think they would make a big deal to him about it, and tell him not to hurt me anymore...

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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Octobergirl
Member


Reged: 11/09/03
Posts: 2906
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824459 - 09/29/05 09:29 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



hio,

I have to agree with believer and I also have to say that I am routinely disappointed in this site when people encourage other's when they break their plans or rules/values/beliefs and basically give you a high five and then get angry and attack when someone doesn't pat you on the back.Or get false hope with some of the hypocritical things the WS does and says.You've already broken 2 plan B's it looks like.

"But it felt so good and right" Isn't that what WS's tell themselves? You let your feelings get the better of you.Yes he is your husband and you above anyone has the "right" to be intimate with him,not some homewrecker.But you can't allow him to do that anymore.Of course he will agree to stay over,he has 2 women on the side.What he said was much of the same babble I got from my WH and then he would turn and walk out the door and call OW or be with her.PUKE.I don't think it's as much of OW not meeting his needs as it is he can have two for the price of one.

I also don't understand how you can forgive someone who isn't really done with what he is doing to you and the family or remorseful like he needs to be.

I don't know how long your WH is going to be away but I do hope you won't break anymore Plans.You will only hurt yourself and teach your WH he can sit on the fence longer.Be strong!

O

--------------------
BW(me)39
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------

~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: Octobergirl]
#2824464 - 09/29/05 09:35 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Hurting:

I hope you know that I don't encourage or "condone" what you did.

I understand what you did.

You are only human.

Others have probably done the same thing here but did not come out in the open like you did with us for fear of the two by fours....

Just make sure that there is TOTAL DARKNESS now...

O Girl is right. He probably thinks that he has you now and that he can continue to cake-eat. That's why I'm thinking that he will try to contact you soon....

The WS has to believe that the BS will forgive before there is RECOVERY...

Before coming back home, our negotiations included my insistence on NC with the OW for Life and his REQUEST for FORGIVENESS....

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

Edited by mimi1254 (09/29/05 09:36 AM)

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2824480 - 09/29/05 09:46 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I know you did not encourage it mimi. As you said we are all human and make mistakes. And I do believe that he needs to know I am willing to forgive him and not use this against him the rest of his life. Like I said earlier he has not said anything about coming home, all he says is he is confused but he misses me and loves me. Just words no actions to make me believe he wants to come home. I just have to let time do its job one way or the other.

I am going into the darkness now, I am not answering the phone of any unknown numbers. DD knows if he calls to tell I am not here.

He knows he has to have N/C with OW before we even discuss him ever coming home. I don't know about him making contact with him being gone, we will see.

This is all very scary for me and I know I may have made a mistake and yes he probably does think he can have both now. But I am strong enough now to make sure that does not happen again.

It's hard to tell the person you have loved for so many years no, but I know it has to be done....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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confused42
Member


Reged: 12/19/04
Posts: 545
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824537 - 09/29/05 10:31 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



hurting,
I hope today is a good day for you and you maintain your resolve. I have mixed emotions about the SF with WS. I understand you wanting to be w/your H...but there will come a time when he wants to be with you that you will have to turn him away. You don't want him thinking he can charm you into bed anytime he wants and all will be forgiven without giving up OW and committing to marriage. You don't want to be his "booty" call. You want to be his wife.

I know its hard to resist because those aliens can do a good imitation of the real H at times. Hang in there...be strong.

--------------------
BS-43 me
WH-41
DS-13
DD-10
together 19 yrs, married 16.5 yrs
D-Day 2/25/05

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: confused42]
#2824543 - 09/29/05 10:33 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



I agree with you CONFUSED...

She needs to TURN HIM AWAY from yesterday forward...

ONLY YESTERDAY.. BEFORE THE ROAD TRIP..WAS A SPECIAL PART OF HURTING'S PLAN...IMHO...

--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2824568 - 09/29/05 10:53 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



You have to understand I was the one who inititated that night not him.

He had already tried and I turned him down and made him leave the house. It was only after he called and wanted me to have dinner with him that I decided to see if I could get him to stay the night. I really didn't expect him to agree. I knew he would agree to coming over here and having SF but not stay the whole night.

I already had decided if he was not willing to stay the night he was not getting anything from me. I gave him an out by telling him it would not bother me one way or the other.

I just really felt in my gut that it was the thing to do. I wanted ME to be the last person he saw before he left on the road. I wanted ME to be the one to kiss him goodbye. I wanted him to have ME be the one on his mind when he left after a wonderful night.

So see it was all me not him. This was my own plan, granted maybe not the best plan in the world but I did it my way.

DD gave him a gift when he left, it was a box with momentos of our life and home. It had pictures of the kids growing up and happy times we had as a family. Was just some little things she put together for him to look at. It also had a few things of mine in there she wanted him to have.

He did not open it until he left, she made him promise not to. So wit all of the things that happen that night and the box who knows how this will go. But I did what I felt I needed to do.

I wanted him to have a good taste of what he is missing and will continue to miss if he does not stop this affair nd agree to N/C.

My reslove now is to stay in the dark and leave him with those thoughts and memories. It was a big risk I took it , nothing I can do to change it now. I do not regret it maybe in time I will, who knows....

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824618 - 09/29/05 11:39 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



bump**

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

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mimi1254
Member


Reged: 12/25/02
Posts: 4088
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: hurtinginokla]
#2824622 - 09/29/05 11:44 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Hurting;

I don't think you need to feel the need to further explain what you did.

You had the gut feeling that it was the right thing to do at the time.

You know your WH and your situation and it seemed to you to be right.

How can we know what is best?

IMHO, it was a GREAT PLAN and you knew exactly what you were doing.

"We do what we have to do..people aren't perfect...life isn't perfect...

I personally am most often led by THE SPIRIT...THE SPIRIT has never let me down.. THE SPIRIT does not necessarily follow MB Principles...



--------------------
Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 29 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried/LTA
Plan A (6 months)-2 False Recoveries- then PLAN B (3 months)
REAL RECOVERY: 9/5/03
"We Belong Together"

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hurtinginokla
Member


Reged: 07/17/05
Posts: 983
Re: Mimi !!!!!! [Re: mimi1254]
#2824630 - 09/29/05 11:54 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Thank you Mimi

Your right I do know my WH better than anyone does. Yes he is following a script and yes he has done a lot of the things a WS does.

But I still know deep down inside he is the man I married. I know he is confused and hurting I can see it on his face. But I also see other things in his eyes when I look at him. I watch his eyes , I see when the part of him that loves me shows up, it so very obvious. I also see in his eyes when he is the WH.... the blank look with no life in them..... He is hurting of that I have no doubt, he is unhappy I know that to. It's so very noticable to everyone but him right now.

I truly think him being gone from here is going to help him. Being alone will give him time to reflect on life and see things can be better. Yes it could all go the other way but for now I have to hold on to the hope it won't.

--------------------
BS (Me)- 46 WH - 45
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,18,21
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
Face to Face with WH -July 4,2005
WH moved in with OW 7/06/05 WH came home 7/09/05
WH left again 7/17/05 WH came home 8/15/05
WH went back to OW 8/18/05 False recovery
PlanB started on 8/29/05
A true PlanB started on 9/08/05 I will not fail it this time !!!!

Well I think i got it all on one thread now....

Anyhow I have my first IC appointment at 3.... I am a little nervous about it...

I do know my first question is going to be are you pro-marraige.... Because if not I don't want this counselor. I want help in restoring my marriage not someone to try and make me leave it .....

I am really missing my life I used to have before all of this crap happen. Today is the first day this week I have not had the energy to do anything..... I guess its the withdrawl from WH. I am not crying just letting my mind wander way to much. I am worried about him on the road.

I remember about 5 yrs ago when he had a bad truck accident and I almost lost him then. I can't help but wonder if he is ok. I guess as they say though no news is good news.

hurting,
I hope your IC session went well. I guess I misunderstood that you were the one who initiated SF. Its just that intimate contact leads us to let down our protective shield at times, leaving us vulnerable to more heartache and confusion. I wasn't judging cause I can't say I haven't done the same thing. You certainly left him with a lot to think about on the road, it also affected you. I guess as a member of the MB family its just we watch out for eachother. I remember you and your family in my prayers. I wish good things for you.

its not a problem confused. I think a lot of people didn't realize I intitiated the whole thing. Your right it has affected me today... I am falling apart I am just lonely now.

I appreciate everyone caring and I think its wonderful for all of us to support one another here. It is like an extended family. I expected the 2x4's and I welcomed them as well.

I hope I gave him something to think about. That was the plan. Anyhow my IC session is in 20mins ... I will post when i get back ...

ty for your prayers and continued support ...

Home from my IC session. It was very emotional and a lot of tears. the counselor I have is very pro-marriage. I told her about MB and Dr. Harley she is going to get SAA and read it so we can discuss it. She did say from my discription of WH and his behaviors that he sounds like a very confused man.

I told her some of the things I have learned and she thought they were very good things. She did say just from my story that I have shown some strength already but I didn't realize it. Like the day I would not let WH in the house when he was banging on the door. And how I did not allow him to go to Indiana with me....

After the session was over she asked could she pray with me, I told her yes. She said a prayer for my family. I think I really like her and she will be a big help.

She is behind me in saving my marriage. She also feels that I can become stronger and an independant person and be ok no matter how this turns out.

So far WH has not tried to contact me or the kids in any way. This is a good thing for me right now.

I am not doing very well tonight. The IC session really drained me today.

Having to tell the whole story all over and remembering how I felt on d-day just about did me in... I am feeling like I did at the beginning.

I was feeling fine up until the session. I do hope this is going to help me. I am trying to figure out if all sessions are going to be like this , then whats the point it just makes me feel worse.

When is this all going to end?
I wish knew..........

((( HIO )))

So sorry to hear that you are down today. I guess there was no where else to go after your "date night". It does get lonely, my WH is gone most of the time too. But, at least I know where he is, kinda. I guess I know where he is NOT.

The days getting shorter makes the nights longer and lonlier. Figures. I do welcome the cooler days, if they ever come. I live in DFW. and it has been very hot and dry lately. We need rain !!!

Try not to feel so bad about what you did. Just go with the good memories of it. I think you can look at anything the good side of it or the bad. Your choice. I know this dealing with WS is all crazy, coo coo - but it does get better - it has to. What could be worse than the pain of realizing your s is having an A !!! Or, do we get used to it ??

I am sure you realize that following the MB plans works the best at ending the A and recovering your marriage.

One day at a time.

Best regards - Car