Hurting - Of course you feel down. Your husband is on the road, counseling is draining, and you still need a job. But trust that this won't last forever.

Can you and your kids get out and go bowling?

I just am not up to doing anything tonite. I went to my MIL for dinner and she had a few people there. I couldn't even handle being there....

I just feel so lost right now..... I have such fear in me right now, that I am going to lose it all....

I miss my H so much. I guess the telling of this whole story today to the counselor just took me right back to the beginning again....

Why can't he just come home????

Carnation,

I don't think it is so much the "date night" as it was the counseling today... I was doing pretty good actually until I had to rehash all of it today....

Your right about one thing I am to sure of where he is right now but I do know where he isn't. This is all just so hard. It's gotta get better sometime...

I live about 2 hours from DFW and its hot here to.... I live 40 miles from Wichita Falls in Okla....

Ty for your kind words, I appreciate them

Please try not to panic. Try to stay focused. Focus on anything, something.

Try to remember that at least he is not with OW right now. He is just driving around in a big ole truck. I know he is missing you too. After a few days you will get used to it and look at the bright side of it.

You can contact me anytime if you get lonely. Pretty much going through the same thing here too.

You can do this. Plan B and things will come around for you. I just know it.

Best regards - car

I'm quite sure that he will come home. Stop worrying. He is too attached to you not to. Being away will be very good for him, and very bad for OW.

So hang in there. Things will get better.

You guys are such good support.... I don't know what I would do if I had not found MB's.....

Believer,
I know I disappointed you with what I did the other night, and I realize I may have set myself backwards, but I just felt it was something I needed to do for me.... I just felt I had to see him before he left. I wanted him to be able to know I was the last person he saw before he left. Sounds dumb maybe I wanted him to have that memory in his head not OW. I hope your right believer. I am quite sure he is attached to, I just hope its enough...

Carnation,

I am going to do this now. I have to do it to bring this all to an end. I appreciate you saying I can talk to you anytime. It helps a lot to have someone to talk to.

Hurting -

I worry about you. It won't matter in the end that you saw him before he left. But the people here that break Plan B are the ones (me included) who seem to end up divorced.

Your husband will be back. Don't worry.

In the meantime, keep up with the job search.

I am still looking for a job. I need one....

I won't break planb again, I can't. I have to save myself from all of the heartache. I am so glad he is gone it makes it easier to stay in the plan.

I don't want to lose my H so I know I have to follow the plan without failing it.

Sleep was very elusive last night. The emotions of yesterday just overwhelmed me.

I am so tired and feel like I can't even move. I just want peace in my life and I can't seem to find it. I keep looking and it runs away.

I had a dream that WH came to me and said it was all over and he wanted us back. Oh how I pray for that day to happen. This is all just so hard...

Hi Hurting,
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so tired. I can imagine bringing up the old memories is difficult, and only wish that you didn't have to do that. That is the hard thing about starting in therapy. You had some healing going on, and then had to relive it all again. I think you will probably get into a treatment plan the next time with the therapist.

Just keep praying that God would bring peace to your mind and family. It's difficult to have complete peace when you have teens I know!! But God is able to give that to you.

Will your H be OTR for months at a time now in his new job?

Love, Lady

No he says for this first time out he plans on being out for a few weeks so he can have time to think.

When he worked for this company before he was home every weekend. So eventually he will be in every weekend. Now he could come in on the weekends I would never know. Especially if he goes home to OW, she lives like 15 miles from me.

I do believe he intends on staying out though a few weeks before coming back , he just needs some time alone.

Guess we will see.

Yeah I am hoping next time I got to IC we will make a plan. I can't re-live that every week it would be way to much...

Well, as you may know, I am the PLAN B Failure Queen...

I would just "get back up on my horse" and work on remaining DARK...

My breaks PROLONGED the A..that's all...

As you know, I am not Divorced.

I wouldn't want you to repeat my pattern..it is very painful...

However, I wouldn't want you to necessarily feel that your break yesterday definitely screwed things up for you....

Well, you already know my feelings and thoughts about all of this....

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Mimi I don't think it screwed me up. It may have put me back some.

I do believe he really does want to come home at some point in time. I have to believe that.

I really believe in my heart if he didn't care and love me he would have walked away and not looked back. And I don't believe he would have stayed the night tuesday... I guess I could be wrong but I don't think so....

Oh, thats good that the OTR will not be so long at a time eventually. I was concerned about that. Wow, I'm surprised he said he needs this time to think, and yes he really does need this time to think everything through. He is at a crossroad, and I think he is realizing that everything he has done has only caused pain to all, and complicated his life totally. May God help him make the right decision. He is fortunate to have such a forgiving wife that is willing to accept him with open arms when he comes home! Hoping your dream comes true!!

Love, Lady

Lady,

He has been saying for the last month or so how confused he is and he does not know what he wants.

I think he is seeing the pain he has caused as well. I pray he makes the right decision. I have prayed everyday that he does.

He knows I love him and want him to come home. I just hope he come to the conclusion our marriage is worth it.

Yes, he is getting much to old to be toying around. Time to grow up and be a man. He has a beautiful loving wife at home, 3 children, and 2 grandchildren, he could be enjoying.

Love, Lady

You are right about that.

I just hope he realzies that soon.... I did tell him the other night that this relaztionship or what ever you call it with the OW was not life long thing and he needed to realize that..... Surprised me when he had no response to that remark...

In fact he had no responses to much of anything I said to him. He never tried to justify or defend anything, I was so surprised. I expected something anger anything... I asked him was he angry about anything I said he said no.
I even told him how OW had no morals or respect for anyone because she knew he was married and still allowed this. Only thing he said was I went after her. I told him does not matter she still knew you were married and she even knew me as a casual friend.

I am not sure how to tkae his no responses to anything. Did he realize everything I said was the truth or was it just to avoid a conflict? Any other time we talked he defended his actions, so this time was totally diffrent.... Kinda scary actually....

I think he said nothing because he knows he can't defend it any longer, his false defenses are down. He knows you are right. I believe he was listening to you, taking it in, and he is thinking hard.
He knows your wisdom is 100% better than OW. OW is just a confused bimbo now, and he cannot feel real love coming from her as he does you, and I think he is seeing that.
When he attaches himself to her, it's nothing but confusion. When he is attached to you it's love. He cannot deny that any longer.




Love, Lady

I hope your right lady. I have wondered if he just didn't respond because he wanted to be with me before he left and he knew justifying and defending that would not have been the outcome.

Its all so confusing....

Hurting:

I have to try to set you back on the right track..

This is the problem with breaks in PLAN B...

This is my read on your WH..

He wants to be a cake-eater. He continues to want you and the OW..

He has left thinking that his mission has been accomplished..that he now has the both of you..that he can now have you when he is finished with her...

You are smarter than he is because you know HIS PLAN and you are not going to go along with it..you are not going to enable his Affair..

From this point forward, you will have NO CONTACT with him until he completely ends it with her...

He currently DOES NOT HAVE A PLAN TO END IT WITH HER...HE CURRENTLY DOES NOT HAVE A PLAN TO END IT WITH HER....HE HAS BEEN ENABLED TO CONTINUE WITH HER....

Your night with him did not make him want to end his affair..DO NOT THINK THIS..DO NOT BELIEVE THIS...

You have a long ways to go..Your night with him most probably PROLONGED the Affair...

The Affair will eventually END..

What your night with him POSITIVELY was leave him with MORE POSITIVE MEMORIES OF YOU WHICH WILL MAKE HIM MISS YOU EVEN MORE DURING YOUR PLAN B......

Got it?

That's the way I see it....