Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 91 of 96 1 2 89 90 91 92 93 95 96
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Great. So you are getting over WITHDRAWAL from him..

That's great about your job interview, Hurting...

What about the idea of going to school during the day..

Didn't you mention something about learning to be a transcriptionist?

I know here the community college offers scholarships/loans for women starting over again...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Thats great Hurting! It does take practice resisting the subject of H, but it does keep you getting better and stronger sooner. Glad you had a good day! Hoping the job comes soon too!

Love,
Lady

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
I have thought about doing something at votech if this job comes through and I have some extra money.... Not sure what though .....

Yeah I think the withdrawl is starting to ease up some... I still miss him but I am handleing it ok for now....

He has not tried to make any contact since Friday when he called about the money. Of course he has not tried to contact anyone at all.... And no one had contacted him...

I do hope he will start feeling the lose over his actions before long. I still find it hard to understand how he could just forget everyone and act like nothing is wrong... But I guess thats not my problem now is it ?

I am doing fine and thats all that matters right now...


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Good Morning Everyone, another night passed and new day dawning. Its been very peaceful here.

Nothing new on the WH front for now. I do have my job interview today, I am praying I get the job. In a way I am glad its night time hours, seeing how the nights are lonely here.

In fact live is kinda boring for now. After such a rollercoaster ride for the last 3 months its such a relief to have so much calm.


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Good Morning to you!

I hope the interview goes well for you today.
It does feel so good to have the peace and calm.

Love, Lady

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
PEACE is sure nice. When I talk to friends, they'll ask what I've been up to and it's always nice to say life has been "uneventful". Uneventful is great after living with events and drama. You forgot when you're in it what PEACE really is.

Good luck with job interview. Remember to smile and make eye contact. Lemon said it well.


BS/47 FWH/42 Married 22 yrs Kids - S30,SD23,SS22 OC Born - 09/08/04 C with OC - SS It's an UPHILL CLIMB
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Yes Lady the calm feels good. I have not had it in so long I forgot what it felt like.

I won't lie though it does worry me the WH has left us all alone. Makes me wonder if he truly is happy about it and this is what he has been waiting for....

Today will be a good day I just feel it......


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
WH cannot be "truly" happy with what he is doing. He is or will be going through a lot of turmoil inside, he needs to feel that. And you and the children are removed from it. We are all hoping he will figure out just how unhappy he really is. He is choosing his fate right now, but no matter what happens, it will not last, it will only crumble in time.

Hoping you have a great day!

Love, Lady

Love, Lady

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Lady,

I hope he is in turmoil or will be soon. I hate to say it but I want him to feel the pain he has caused all of us. I know that sounds awful but without feeling it he will never be the man he should be.

My day will be good, of that I have no doubt....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Yes he will feel it Hurting, and there is nothing wrong with wanting him to feel that, but he needs to feel it for a while. He need to feel just how out of control and complicated he has made his life, and the hurt he has put his family through. And that his doings can not be tolerated by anyone. And the good thing is is that your family is saying the same thing and avoiding him as well. This will help alot I believe.

Love, Lady

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
I agree I think the whole family avoiding him will be the one thing that does him in.

This sure isn't a easy thing to do or live with. It's really sad that I feel bad for wanting him to hurt, but I do know its something he has to feel to finally realzie what he has done.


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
No, it's not an easy thing to do, but it's the best thing to do.

Love, Lady

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Lady,

I know its the best thing to do. Its the only thing left to do... I still miss the man he used to be. I hope and pray he will become that man again someday...

its such a good thing he away from here, it makes it so much easier to handle. Now when I leave the house I don't worry about seeing him anywhere. I used to see him while out and about while he was working in town. It was always hard to see him drive down the road and know when the day was done he would not be coming home to us.....Now I don't have worry over it.....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Well good news I got a JOB !!!!

Burger King came through. I will be working from 10pm until 5 am. Not really what I wanted but its definatley better than nothing. I start thursady. I will admit I am a little nervous about working in a fast food place but hey how hard can it be?

DS 15 who is staying at my SIL's most of the time came home today and was telling me WH called there wanting to talk to him this weekend. DS refused to talk to him. He says he wants nothing to do with him. SIL said WH was upset because he would not talk to him.... Oh well he made this mess let him now pay for it.... I sure don't feel sorry for him at all. As they say you reap what you sow.....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Yahoo!!!! You got the job!!

No it won't be that hard. I think those hours mostly entail cleanup.

I know this must hurt you DS a lot, as it does you all. He is at such a sensitive age too. Makes me angry thinking about it. I have a 15 yr old boy too. But I am glad that he is plan B'ing him, and hopefully it will do some good.
Just give him a lot of hugs, if he will let you. When my H cheated my DS held me so much, I think more than he ever has since he was little, you know how they are at that age. I told him when he gets older and marries never use my H as an example and never to cheat on his wife because it is so painful, he just listened and held me.

Love, Lady

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Yippee - a JOB!!!!!!!!!!! Whenever I go to BK, it seems like they move pretty fast, but you'll get used to it.

But just getting a job, and getting out and away from the house will be very good for you.

Like LM says - do the best job you can.

My most rewarding "job" was when I worked with the casaulties coming back from Fallujah, emptying urinals, and freeing up the nurses. It was a volunteer job.

This job will be what you make it.

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 316
Congrats Hurting.


BS/47 FWH/42 Married 22 yrs Kids - S30,SD23,SS22 OC Born - 09/08/04 C with OC - SS It's an UPHILL CLIMB
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Ty all for the support.....

I feel pretty good right now. This is going to make a big difference for me.

I have decided though not to let WH know for a few weeks. I have told everyone if they speak to him not to let him know for now. I want to get a few weeks pay under my belt and allow him to continue giving me mucho money to get me all caught up on the bills.

Once I have that done he is then going to be surprised because I plan on getting court ordered CS and Spousal Support so I don't have to deal with him giving me what he wants, when he wants. He wants to play he going to pay....
Throw a kink in his and OW's life......


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Just reading Kims posts about asking her WH to leave brings me back to the night I asked mine to leave. I have not thought of that night for a long time.

I feel her pain and sorrow and it makes me sad. I remember how i felt doing that. Was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.

Isn't it funny how reading someone elses sitch triggers the memories you have buried inside you because of the pain. I never want to ever have to do that again in my life.....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Page 91 of 96 1 2 89 90 91 92 93 95 96

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 179 guests, and 54 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Raja Singh, Loyalfighter81, Everlasting Love, Harry Smith, Brutalll
71,958 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Lack of sex - anyway to fix it?
by Nightflyer90 - 03/23/25 08:14 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,959
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5