Just wanted to say a genuine thank you to those of you who responded to my original post about gaining "clarity" from contacting OM...AS IF???!!! Wise are all of you...A complete 180 I have done...Okay, okay you guys were so right...so glad I posted here. Btw, any nomination to the "Idiot of the Month" Club will be understood. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

What makes this board so effective, IMHO is that it really helps the fog to lift a bit faster...nothing like having a bunch of mirrors held in your face all at once...not always pretty, but eye opening none the less.

Each day of this process finds me realizing so many things about myself, my marriage, but most importantly about my H's feelings in all of this. WSes, or at least this one, tend to be quite self centered, my apologies for this. Part of my fog has definitely been seeing things only from my own perspective...

What a great Plan Aer my husband has been, focusing on my needs and never LBing...your posts have helped to create a dialogue for my he and I regarding his feelings, something he has never found that easy to share...thank you all for giving me what it took to offer him a safe outlet from which to begin opening up...

We had the most amazing yesterday(Thursday) that you can imagine, he didn't go into the office, and we spent all day talking openly, which led both of us to remember exactly how much we do belong to each other and why...priceless...I know we still have a long road ahead, but I can't think of anyone that I would rather travel with than him...

Again I offer my gratitude for the part you MBer's played in showing me the importance of thinking of him first...


Now, on to Pem...I am still waiting for an explanation of your posts to my thread...I am honestly confused, as I have read your very kind posts to others, and don't understand what I did to trigger what I felt were pretty unkind posts to me??? I am quite new here as you can see...Dday was 04-26-2005 for us...my husband and I are just trying to get a grasp on how to go on from here. To give you an idea, we are just finishing up SAA and are about to begin listening to HN/HN on CD...We are really green in this new territory, so any error in my posts are in earnest.

Your last post to me referenced my husband laughing about the affair on our Dday...PLEASE KNOW THE LAUGHTER THAT WE SHARED WAS MOST DEFINITELY NOT ABOUT THE A, the only reason I even mentioned it was to...

(a)show that we have always had and always will have a rapport that trancends understanding for most, and

(b) to illustrate that sometimes being as analytical and logical as he is, his reactions are different than those of most people that I know(he's like that about all things, not just this-his philosophy has always been, act, don't react).

Also, in further thinking about it, shock registers like that for some people I believe...I'm sorry if I've somehow misunderstood you and your intent, but I am just completely baffled by your responses and would love to have their meanings revealed???