HTW,

If someone was ever ready for a plan B then this is it based on the WW, no remorseful, entitled, selfish and downright arrogant response. Unfortunately, as I have told you before, your WW sounds a lot like mine and will have to hit rock bottom before ever seeing how she had anything to do with any of this.

We are here for you through this. We are in a sense family on here so talk to us anytime about your feelings. I will keep praying for you and your family.

So she thinks that the only reason you sent that e-mail was because she was under the impression that you're still spying on her? Crazy. At least, from what I've read lately, she's starting to see that the "wonderful world of single moms" isn't going to be all fun and games like her "friend" told her it would. Wait till she's really out of the house. I have this strange feeling she's going to wake up fast. Right now she comes and goes as she pleases because she has you to take care of things. She won't be giving her friend rides home and hanging out cuz she's going to be busy taking care of kids.

Oh well. Good luck and I rooting for you.

One thing though...I sense that you're already past the point where you want her back at all from your recent posts. I think that Plan B was pushed back too far and you seem to be done with her. Is that where you are now?

Yes it seems I need to find out about her being in contact for her to admit it. She dam well knows how I feel about any contact wtih OM.

And for her to say that I sould "just ask her" if I'm suspicios, well that is what I did when I first confronted her EA and look where that went. So this is just nonsense since she would deny it or lie anyway.

As for spying, I haven't spied on her since early January but when I had a gut feeling she was with OM on a certain day I was 100% RIGHT! I trust my gut now.

Go, I admit that my love for her is low, but it isn't empty. I have tried very hard to hold on to that last bit of love for her and that is why I want her to leave now before I loose it all. If she was committed and remorseful, I would give her everything I had to make our M work. Right now it hurts too much and I have nothing left to give while I know she is still in contact.

HTW,
Protect that little seed of hope...I know I am.


The good thing about having low reserves is that when she does leave and gets uncomfortable (and she will) that you will make her EARN her way back home and not let her home too soon. If there was one thing I could change about my situation it would be that last year when he left and the next day begged and promised the world to come home that I didn't cave. I think we would be in a much different place right now...maybe not...maybe this is the course we had to run so I could be strong. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I see she is still following the MLC script. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

C42,

If she ever decides to come back to me then she will have to be committed as will be stated in my Plan B letter. I'm not holding much hope for this to happen just enought to stoke the embers if needed.

It's funny how your WH was begging to come back initially and now is on the fence. Why do we have to play these games?

Anyways the emails have been flying back and forth between WW and I today. She told me she feels that I'm secretive about stuff which I have been more of late (i.e. rash) and I told her that I don't feel completely safe telling her things since I don't know how she will react to them. In the past she has become very upset over what I consider small items. I've kind of become gun shy.

Anyway she brought something up and I just emailed her something very personal about myself and told her that it was very embaressing for me to tell her especailly now since I feel less safe with her. Nothing to do with an OW or A, just very personall stuff that I should have been able to tell her before felt that I could not.

It amazes me how someone you have shared your dreams, heart and soul with... can turn into someone you barely recognize right before your eyes.

Has she agreed on when she will be leaving?

Well it seems she will be leaving on the week of March 13th since that is our kid's March Break and she is taking the week off.

She has sent to the papers to her lawyer to have them drafted up and so we are close.

I'm feeling stronger emotionally and feel like I should be able to get through the initial stages of Plan B ok. Although I still love her and will miss her I'm sure.

I'm still trying to keep up my Plan A as I bought her a coffee and a bottle of her favourite wine last night. I also offered to take her and the kids out for lunch this Sunday. She asked me why and I just said because it's something I would like to do. Really I know it may be the last time we ever do that as a family, but I couldn't tell her that since it would reveal my Plan B intentions.

With all that I have learned about myself and R I feel I have so much to offer a woman so it's too bad my WW won't be the recipient of all I have to give.

LB'ed last night with a DJ.

Yesterday morning my DS asked my WW what time she would be home, she replied at 6:00. So I get home at 6:30 and of course she is not home. It's now 8:00 and my DD has a high fever and is crying for her mom, my DS is asking why mom is so late. So I call my WW cell for DD to talk to her and she starts crying because she gets WW voice mail. 10 seconds later WW calls and she says "I know you are probably mad but I had an emergency at work". I just said "whatever" and she said "what" and I said "Do you even care about your kids?" and she replied "F***You" so I hung up the phone on her and haven't spoken to her since. I am so pissed at how she puts other stuff ahead of her kids like that. My LB is really at an all time low right now.

sigh............you so need to be in Plan B, my friend! This garbage is wearing you down drip by drip by drip. Can you not get her to move out this weekend, Hope? How much more of this can you take?

How is DD feeling? How are you feeling?

Hope....A couple of things. As I mentioned before, I think you should speak to her family about them helping you get her out and into their home. You need to stop thinking that this act would anger her. You must start puttig incredible pressure on her about leaving AS SHE did to you regarding seperating.

Second, while your words were a LB and DJ she acted rudely, not ly NOT CARING about not letting you know she would be late but assuming you'd care for children. You need to start operating in a vacuum my friend as she does. That will be the part of Plan B she will hate. It will be times the children are ill that she will attempt to communicate, I assure you this will be the time that will be the hardest because you WANT her to know what a great parent you are. Also, your small outburst also shows to her that she still effects how you feel.

During my deal she always usd the boys to communicate, even asking if we could go to a sporting event as a family while she was "dating" d-bag from her office. I went because the boys pressured me into it. It went very badly as children acted out. I had her drop me off at a bar on the way home....I assure you it set m eback farther than her. I use this as an example of how the children will impact Plan B...my example sealed the deal for me sticking to mine...

So Hope, check with her family. Have her brothers get her stuff out, change the locks and get her out of there. Stick to unsigned agreement regarding visitation. Make it clear to her family she is destroying any hope that there can be a reconciliation with her callous and rude behavior (DO NOT SHARE those with family because she will be under enough scrutiny from them!). Then change the locks!

Sorry I had such a short response to your e-mail. I was at my Dad's helping him with some of his business and personal affairs...feel free to drop me a line...

Good luck....

C42, DD has strep throat as is now taking antibiotics and doing much better. Thanks!

Mel & Sendme,

After pressuring my WW to move out this is the response I just received from her...



BS

I’ve already advised you that my lawyer has all the documents in her hands and she is drafting up the agreement. I can’t go any faster than I currently am going. If there is something I’m doing that is causing you to be so eager to have me move out let me know. I need the terms of our agreement to be agreeable to both of us so unless this goes smoothly, I might just extend my stay.

Regarding great pain, I know you’re sad and I know I’m the cause, but you act like I’m having a great time with all this. You’ll never know what this has done to me and you’ll never understand, you’ve been mean to me too. So as soon as I know, I’ll let you know about my moving date and then you won’t have to see me again.

WW


So as you can see she has no intentions of leaving without a LS in place and is almost playing me by saying she might "extend her stay".

Her younger brother came over Sautrday to talk to WW but she had taken DD to doctor. He said his parents are beside themselves that she was late on Friday without calling and with DD at home with a fever. He said it is becoming embarassing now and if he finds out something is going on she will have he11 to pay. He realizes her behavioiur is very suspicious and said he would understand if I lost it on her and kicked her out.

Sendme, I will talk to her parents tonight and ask for their help in getting WW to move out ASAP.

I would be so tempted to write back and say that if she didn't move out I would be making the terms less than agreeable, but as long as she was agreeable, I would be agreeable.

Askme, below was my response to her...


WW,

As I've said from the beginning of all this, I cannot accept any contact between you and OM...none. Any contact, and I mean any contact for whatever reason takes a piece out of me each time and it is disrespectful towards me. The disrespectful judgements, sarcasm and feeling like a piece of furniture at home have all led me to shut down emotionally and it is affecting my relationship with our kids now. I don't expect you to understand how I feel just as I may not understand what you are feeling, but these are the things that causing me to be "eager" to have you leave.

I'm not a angry or mean person, but when I am hurt, it sometimes turns to anger and that may lead me to do things that may seem mean to you. I would NEVER do anything to be intentionally mean to you and I want you to know that I'm sorry for any mean things that I have done to you.

BS

Hope, DO NOT ASK !! Tell them, she is out this week. She can leave WITHOUT a signed agreement, she loses NOTHING, including her rights to property, she has already moved most stuff out?? She is playing your bells like a cow! Stop her now. All you should do is ask for her parents support. Tell her what you're doing. Her stuff and her is out by this weekend and have her brother help you get the rest of her stuff out. Sunday night you're home without her. With your signed LS papers deliver Plan B letter....

You must take charge...I do not even know the woman and I want to shake her...



No Hope....FRUSTRATION leads to anger..I promise I know that answer....story of my life....you're frustrated....take away her control...it will be orgasmic!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

OH YEAH...Go to Home Depot and buy new lock set...have it right out in plain view, have brother move stuff out and change the locks...I'd be a [censored] and give her the old set for giggles sake....

Hope, this is ridiculous. She is just playing cat and mouse with you. Tell her she does not need a LS in place to move out and she knows it. She plans on moving out anyway, may as well do it now. Tell her you have been through enough and ask her to show a little bit of decency and do it now.

I would send her an email urging her to move out, that you need to get on with your life.

Maybe you need to have her legally removed? Have you explained this to your atty how she is dragging this out?

HTW,


Ok...gag me! Is she out of her mind? Its so amazing how WS can't see beyond their own whims and desires. If the paperwork is being processed then whats the big deal...the items can be negotiated when she is out of the house. She is stalling.

My WH is in Puerto Rico for the week so at least I get a break for a while. Living with WS just sucks the energy right out of you!

My DS has strepp too...but is feeling better.

I spoke with my MIL last night and informed her that I thought it would be best for WW to move in with her ASAP. She is having a biopsy done today for a lump in her breast so the timing is not good. She is really upset with WW and is at the point where she doesn't want to talk to her.

Mel, I already sent her a few emails asking her to speed up her move out. And I will check with attorney to see if I can force her out, but I remember asking this once before and he said that I can not.

WW is working from home today and will be seeing a real estate agent this morning to look at some homes.

To accomodate her schedule with the kids she made arrangements to work late one night a week and last night happened to be that night. She came home at 10:30 and everyone was asleep. I could tell she was upset by her sighs and when she came to bed I asked how her day went. She became emotional for a moment when saying working this late shift really bothers her.

These are some of the consequences of her actions!

C42, when I read that comment I had to shake my head also. They just don't get it do they?

Hope you did a good job wording this. And I'm sure you know this, but just a reminder. Always be careful of the words you choose in written documents to your wife. You don't want anything in writing that can ever be used against you.

Yes, I'm careful of what I put in my emails for that exact reason. It is sad that you have to guard what you write because your spouse may use that against you. Unfortunately, it's the reality of seperation and divorce.

BTW, last night my WW called at about 7:00 to give me a number she can be reached at the office she was working at. When I said, "why I already have your cell" she replied "becasue I know you guys don't believe me". I didn't reply to that, but she never gives me the number of OM office location when she is there.

Another thing I forgot to mention, WW was a "supermom" this weekend. She did everything and even did fun stuff with kids to. I don't know if my comment to her on Friday night struck a nerve with her or not, but I did notice she went out of her way to be a great mom this weekend. She was wonderful!