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Here is a site that gives birth indexes (yes, I know the address says death, but it also includes birth indexes) for various counties in TX. http://www.deathindexes.com/texas/.In some states/counties, child support and divorce are governed by the Probate Court. Here is a link for searching the Tarrant County Probate Court cases. http://cc.co.tarrant.tx.us/CivilCourts/Probate/default.asp This link will allow you to search the Tarrant County public records. http://cc.co.tarrant.tx.us/CivilCourts/ccl/default.asp This link is to a fee based service that will give you access to Tarrant County court records. http://www.knowx.com/court/courts.jsp amd here's another that looks VERY helpful. http://detectivewho.com/court-records.htm - this site does not appear to limit to one county which would be helpful in your case given that you do not know where this child was born/lives. Start with these and we can progress from there....part of the problem is that because your WH travels for his job, this support order could have come from just about anywhere in the country. For this reason, I agree with others that you should consider hiring a PI. I would hire a PI as they could do a much more thorough search, but this should give you a start. Regards, BB
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Car:
What will you do if you find out that there is an OC? Is this a deal breaker for you?
SM
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Well, I just don't get it. I am certainly no expert, but I am smart to discern when someone is a player. And carnation, he is playing you. He has spent all your money, lies to you, and very likely has a child [s] somewhere along with a babe. That ain't Plan A material if you ask me. That is grifter material.
You know, all you have to do is call up the HR department at your H's work and ask them to fax you the court order demanding this garnishment. If they insist that your H call, then tell him to call and ok it. He should be HAPPY to do it, since it will clear him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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P.S. I also think you should call his mother and sister and see if you can glean any facts from them. Tell them that you are disturbed that there is such a rift between them and H and ask if there is anything you can do, as a wife, to change that.
My father is a 2X bigamist who has been married and divorced 8 times and whenever he would commit bigamy, he would keep wife #2 away from his family by lying to her about a "family rift."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Lemon - Yes, exactly - an OC is a dealbreaker. hands down.
In fact, I just feel so discouraged all the time now regarding him. It is not being done intentionally, just happening. Well...duh
Brit - Thank you so much for the links. I am going there when I get through typing this. I hope I get something. thanks again.
Mel - Wow, talk about drama. Sounds like you have had your fair share. Do we get used to it ?? I am doing all I can do to find out this cs deal. I just feel like giving up. He should be home in the next couple days. I will be looking at him with different eyes. And trying to protect my heart and my soul. I just don't have it in me to walk away without concrete evidence. (I know, I know...)
I can't tell you how much I have spent on PI since I have been with him. They always took my $$$ and never, ever got me one thing. I guess I know how to pick 'em !!! thanks so much for replying.
Car
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Car, you have hired P.I.'s before this?? Why?
You know, I think it would be helpful if you would give us some more background about your marriage. Just how long has all this been going on? Have you EVER trusted him? How long has he had a job where he had to travel?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Car said a few posts ago that she is suppose to leave with him in about a week. GPS is already on his truck due to work. yes, I realize that. But what does that have to do with my suggestion that she put a GPS on his truck that she can track? Are you saying she can access the current GPS unit so this is not an issue? Please explain how the current GPS is going to help her because I am not getting it. Orchid, she doesn't need a P.I. to "follow" him, he is a truck driver, for God's sake. She needs a P.I. to do a BACKGROUND and RECORDS CHECK as I said earlier. 1st I gotta aplogize to Mel for being way off the mark on this one. Mel.....I'm sorry. I now think the WS needs a chip implant like the one they put on parolees. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Carnation, check out Brit's sources and see what you can find. This is relatively new info about the OC, right? Still not sure if it is his child from 18 years ago or someone else? My question to you is why go on this trip with him while all this is in the air? What happened to when he supposedly quit all and rushed home? I fear you may be left stranded out somewhere and can't get back home. I think we had this same fear when you went with him before, right? L.
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Brit - I got nowhere with the court links. Since all I really know is his name, I went that route. Typed in his name as one of the parties... kept coming back .. error in the parameter.
That last link for a detective thing, detectivewho looks real good. I am just worried if I have to download it, probabably alot to download and I have an old slow computer. I need to leave for awhile, when I come back I might try to download it if I can. thanks so much. If I can, I will be able to get a ton of info. I'll be on it all night !!!!! anybody need information ???? glad to help.
car
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Mel - I am almost embarassed to tell you why. When we first got married, he was so much different than what I was used to - fell in love with a bad boy - that I would kick him out all of the time. Just couldn't do it. Then me being so needy, would go look for him. I would panic after a while and call a PI out of the phone book to look for him.
I always ended up finding him myself. He would normally be camping somewhere near by. The man has nothing. But, this was all years ago. But -- the pattern is there and he thinks he has me and my $$$ wrapped around his little finger. (you know, like y'all think !! lol )
Orchid - Thanks so much for replying and the concern. My son would get me home asap from anywhere. I have the means to rent a car or he would certainly make sure I was safe, as I would. Please don't worry about me. I know I will be safe... it is just all this other junk that has me worried. I MUST get the truth. I gotta run.. I hope I can download that detective thing later. Could prove very interesting. Time is running out.... thanks so much
Carnation
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How long have you suspected he is in an affair?
Have you caught him in affairs before?
How long has he worked away from home?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel - The very first time I ever suspected him cheating was last May when I smelled strange perfume on him (musk, I would never wear that !) and his reply of - You're taking that well, maybe I've found someone that I have more in common with. - Of course he denies saying that.
That was just after moving to the new house and he kept saying that the move would be a "fresh start" for us. I kept questioning him saying that and he said he was referring to him getting steady work.
I am his 5th wife. He never cheated on any of them - well according to him and we know how that goes. But up until last year I believed him and never suspected a thing. I have spoken to his last wife before me, she said he never cheated on her. He has a daughter with her and I pretty much know their whole story. I have not spoken with either of them in years.
He just started this truck driving job in Dec. Things were real, real bad between us as soon as we moved here last May. After smelling the perfume and a few other clues, I am sure that A was going strong last summer. That is why he wanted to drive all 48 states I am sure. To get away from me (or her but I do not think that was his original plan.)
Since I have been Plan A ing and not LB ing like I was since January finding this board, things have gotten much much better between us. I think he did break it off with her (his words) when I came to get him after quitting last job. This child support thing is a complete mystery to me. I will be spending tomorrow finding out. (my computer can not download that program, of course)
Thanks for the concern.
Carnation
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I am his 5th wife.
Would seem to show at least that he never learned the lessons from each previous broken M, Car.
MB Alumni
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Carnation (love the name, BTW),
The employer background checks usually are just for criminal activity and not for general financial information.
Why not order a credit report online for your H? It seems to me that a child support order/garnishment might show up on that, and it should tell you WHERE. It should only cost about $30 or so, and I think you can order it for all 3 major credit reporting agencies.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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If that rubs someone the wrong way.....well. I say BOO HOO... yeah well then let me be the first one to say Boo Hoo <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I believe that what steve harley mostly assessed with carnation is pretty much what everyone has been saying to carnation....which is that what she had been trying over and over again ad-nauseum with her husband was the exact definition of insanity round here.... that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results was her old way.... and that his suggestion was geared to reach her stated goal of what she wanted to accomplish with HER marriage and HER husband...open lines of communication some of the "new" techniques did just that, got him to 'confess' some things...... while he still remains the one accountable for his dishonesty.... in the end there is nothing carnation, steve, or the zealots as you like to call everyone round here can do to make her husband VALUE honesty.....and she alone must decide what to do with that reality.... Plan A assists in keeping the line of communication open...even if and WHEN the line is direct means to an end ie divorce..... anyone in any crisis that can keep some level of logic even amongst chaos no matter the chaos ie child support serves themselves better in the end...and THAT is the true goal of marriagebuilding no matter where the marriage ends up.... no one here believes any and every marriage should be saved... no one here has that type of power nor is that wise advice..... no one makes carnation do ANYTHING and no ones advice here is RESPONSIBLE for HER choices no matter what they are...they remain hers....as it is so with all of us... and no one thinks Steve Harley or any other 'proffessional' is right in everything they say..... this board is mostly about going through ****** and coming out the other side with your sanity still intact..... I re-read your story, and now I am sadly convinvced that the Pope did not get all of the information when he recommended continued PLan A your reference to the Pope is truly offensive....in my humble opinion...... who should we blame next if carnation decides to get a divorce and buys a book to help her with that route... the for profit divorce zealots and professional lawyers and their fees seems logical to me...... I think it would be ridiculous to get in a truck with this man... I think she needs to go in to full protection mode... protect ALL her assets protect herself physically from this stranger ask him of and for NOTHING and see what he is willing to do from here on out..... from a safe distance before she does anything else..... boo hooo ARK boo hoooo.....
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Thank you so much for the comments, advice and concern. That is all I could ever hope for from any of you. I came to these boards for comments and advice. If I got concern from anyone, I would see that as a plus ! I am sure everyone here knows how grateful I am for any and all replies regarding my situation. Bob - yea, 5 th wife. And upteen serious girlfriends in between. He has been married to me the longest. (lucky me !!) Thanks for replying. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Well, after many many calls this morning. I have come up with the child support payment being taken out now is for and this is coming from a young girl in public records - only one who would tell me anything - for his daughter who is about 25 yo. When we got married she was about 15. He saw her about everyother weekend. At that time he would give his XW cash money for child support. Oh, I would ocassionally write his XW a check for the month of support. Happened a few times. I also wrote a check for her to get her wisdom teeth removed. This continued until she was almost 18. At that time she got pregnant and due to the nature of father of the baby - my WH cut off all contact with daughter. Has not spoken with her since. So he should not owe much. I have not spoken with him about this. But at this point he is the only one who can handle it in any way. And, knowing his nature, he may not do a thing about it. My hands are tied. So that is the story on the child support, as I know it. Which in one way is a relief, but there is a part of me that was really hoping for a OC so I could just end this. I will post more when I find out more. Thanks so very much. Carnation
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Fifth! Holy Smokes.
May I ask why he even bothers to marry?
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Why is he disowning so many family members?
BW-28-me
FWH-27
D-Day 10-04
Together- 13 yrs
Married- 4 yrs
EA- 3 months -turned into a weekend PA, he came home on Sunday and told me.
HS/College Sweethearts
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Good morning. WH is due home today. His behavior has been so much better lately. But, I still look for my solid proof. This morning I am going to Radio Shack to get a tape recorder for the landline !! Wish I would have thought of that sooner. But perhaps I can find out something now. He will be home for 4 days.
I am positive he has used this phone to call her for a long time. When I used to work, I would come home and the phone would be on the coffee table, every day. He said it was in case I called, whatever. Normally when he is home I try to be here all the time. But if I get a recorder, I will leave for a couple of hours and hope I get my answer !!
Glad I finally thought of this. Wish me luck !! (that would be - me getting my proof !! not him not calling)
Carnation
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Thanks for the replies and the concerns. With all that I hold close to my heart - I told SH EVERYTHING !!! Did you tell SH that you legally divorced this man 7 years ago? You know, this is pretty unusual, don't you?
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Did you tell SH that you legally divorced this man 7 years ago? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Remarriage? CoHabitation? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Hmmm...the dynamic of this entire relationship is even more confusing. Being number "5" would have prevented me from being number "5". Lord carnation...if you are divorced...and he is all over the United States...he might be married again! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> And...that makes YOU the OW.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> HOLY MOLY! committed
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