LOL, this is one of the reasons why I wonder what exactly people are talking about when this subject comes up, and can't help thinking that we all have mismatched pictures of what we're talking about. I for one was not talking about "recreational dating" where there's no possibility for a future, but rather about evaluating reasonable/unreasonable attitudes in someone with whom there might be a future.

I reserve physical intimacy for an exclusive committed relationship. And I don't hurry into either with someone I barely know. My life just isn't so empty that I need to go to that kind of extreme to fill it.

When Miker said he wouldn't date someone who's not exclusive from the very beginning, I thought maybe I was misunderstanding what he meant by that. It turns out I wasn't.

There are a number of reasons someone with Miker's attitude would get discounted right away. But he's already said they don't matter to him, so I won't list them unless someone else really wants to know.

There is one biggie I guess I should point out anyway: Rushing to exclusivity is a major early warning sign of a domestic abuser and/or manipulator. If rushing to exclusivity is something you do, it's reasonable for those you date to wonder what kind of issues you're trying to cover up with all this rushing. And if you have a history of attracting abusive or manipulative partners, guess what, this behavior on your part is helping to make you easy prey.

Instead of trying to find someone to emotionally connect via dating, why not make it the goal to establish real friendships with the opposite sex? There are lots of advantages to this approach over dating, if you stop and truly think about it.

TMCM

I had to chime in on this post <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I think there is just to much emphasis on Dating in general and I fully agree with TMCM. Enjoy cultivating new friendships both male and female especially if your just getting into the swing of being single. I term this Dangling...its not a true date and your just hanging out enjoying getting to know one another. Dangling Rocked when I was available. I met some wonderful people and embraced that our paths crossed regardless of however briefly...through each encounter I discovered more about myself.

I just don't get how men or women can juggle dating more than one at a time. I've tried it..and I usually get myself into big time trouble because I'm not good at lying or hurting peoples feelings...at least not intentionally....but in the end I am usually the one who gets hurt because of it.

Most of the guys I am meeting lately are from online and I'm not having much luck with it to be honest. My girlfriend said that I should be looking offline and in my neighborhood. I told her I'm more outgoing online, hiding behind my computer than I am in person.

What's everyone else's opinion on this...meet people from offline or online???

Personally I think I'm just going to quit looking and if it happens it happens...course I say this but then I get bored and I start surfing the net again for potential dates.

The only benefit of meeting someone online is that you talk quite a bit about one another (at least I do) and get a sense of what they are like before it comes to actually meeting in person.

My family of course thinks that everyone online is evil. It's hard to make them understand that for the most part everyone I have invested any time with online have been decent. I am very cautious with what I put out there in the cyber world. Yes it can be a dangerous place but only if you let it be.

What do you all think?

Alluring

Take a class...cooking, homedepot do it yourself classes, golf, tennis..something your wholeheartedly interested in. You'd be surprised at how many good people you'll meet. Both male and female. Surround yourself with your girlfriends alluring, have fun and be yourself for that is the magnet that attracts the opposite sex...the opposite sex that is drawn to whatever magnetic personality you exude. "if it happens it happens" Now there is a good idea chicky! Be well and have fun in whatever you doing offline or on!
ruby

Who said anything about lying? If you don't feel that you want to be exclusive with someone, be honest with them and tell them that you don't want to be exclusive with them. Let them decide how involved they want to get. Lying is cheating.


Why not do both? But I would have to agree with others, getting out and doing things that you like to do enhances you as a person. It makes you more attractive.

That's my point I CAN'T lie nor cheat..never could...just ask my parents...lol

Thanks for your outlook...I appreciate it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Alluring