Did anyone see the spot with Katie Couric on emotional affairs?

I walked in2 our room just after it started, and listened 2 it with my W. It was EXCELLENT, so I tried 2 go 2 MSNBC and see if they had a transcript. The link is for a video online, but they're not Mac OS compatible (fools!), and I haven't had a chance 2 look it up from my PC.

I asked my W what she thought afterwards, and she said "I'm mad at the world."

She can't see the difference between a close friendship (or any other distraction, like a hobby) and an emotional affair, particularly 2 the BS (like me, for instance). 2 me it's pretty obvious, but I didn't put it that way. Instead I told her that I'm trying 2 find the right balance of time 2 devote 2 my own interests so that I'm not "robbing her" of my emotional involvement in our M (from the interview).

This may have been the first time she's heard the "source" for that "thief" comment I made 3.5 annums ago that tweaked her gain knob so badly at the time, and what it means. It has 2 do with "emotional unavailability" which, in the context of As, means splitting one's love between 2 people (with one of them being kept secret from the other) - which none of us can effectively do without robbing our spouse of our promised commitment 2 them.

I think we're in recovery, sort of in a similar sitch as WOE's (though I hesitate 2 call it a "woeful recovery" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />). I have no idea whether contact is going on, but after all I've been through, I'm going 2 assume it IS until proven otherwise. I *did*, however, get an acknowledgement from my W, after that interview, that her R with RM crossed over 2 an inappropriate one a LONG time ago. I believe she's trying 2 detach from him, and it's affecting our interaction in a lot of positive ways. Things "changed" fundamentally after she left for her OOSP in June, 2 days after our interview with the DV mediator.

Got a long way 2 go, still.

-ol' 2long

Are the 2 of you coming 2 Bob's Saturday?

It will be fun.

I like 2 see Pep 2alk like 2long. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Twolong,
No wait,
I mean Tolong....

Toolong?

2long?

OK, that's better.

So, you feel things are improving?

Like............how?

SS

Like we stopped bugging him!

LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

see... SS ... he's ignoring me!!!!!!

BTW ... I meant to respond to you ... I read only half of the comedy book you sent ... I don't know why I stopped. It seemed a manly sort of humor .... maybe that's why ???? Now, I don't know where it is ... but it is HERE ... in our house .... funny how things just disappear for awhile, then suddenly reappear as if by magic ... weird.

2long,

""It has 2 do with "emotional unavailability" which, in the context of As, means splitting one's love between 2 people (with one of them being kept secret from the other)""

When I discovered Geeze had been in the EA for 3 years and a PA for the last 2 of those years, the idea of the "emotional unavailability" came crashing down on me like the idea of plate techtonics, or the mind boggling idea of infinity.

And that I didn't have a clue that I was the victim of this "emotional theft" makes me sad. That she had this other "life" with OM and for soooo long. So many emotions and secrets passed between them...and I going along my merry way without a care in the world. (sigh)

k

Pep,
It IS written for a particular segment of society. I wondered if you would like it, but then, my W laughed herself sick over SOME stories.

There is one story about a medical procedure, but it is titled differently. I KNEW you would love that one. And no, not boils. I'll get the title of that one story for you. Mostly I wanted you to see that one.

I have been on vacation. Just got back last night. We would have stayed, but the money ran out.

SS

Well, no. She's leaving for her OOSP again that afternoon, possibly around the same time (so, I'll "have 2" tell her I'm meeting all y'all, probably). She's taking my Dr Pepper bus, so you guys get 2 meet my old truck!

...'nother story. She's picking up her friend (HF) in Vegas (flying from back east), they're going 2 OOSP, then off 2 a conference in RM's former home town 2 states from here (that he'll probably attend). I think HF is along as a chaparone as much as anything, but they do have work they're doing 2gether.

I may go up 2 Fried Electrons for hoots either before or after the feed. Ever been 2 the Burbank store? It's pretty hilarious (flying saucer embedded in the facade, all kinds of alien props all through the store...).

-ol' 2long

SS

If I weren't feeling so incredibly LAZY right now ... I'd go find the book ... but I will ... after awhile.

Not really. They improved drastically after she left for OOSP and it must have sunk in that I was serious about DV if she doesn't can RM (I still am). And we've been on a semi-comfy plateau since. Closer, SF again (though not lately), and I, at least, was able 2 say "if you want 2 talk about this interview, I can go in a little late", and when she said "no", I said "that's fine. Whenever you want, is all."

I'm still looking forward 2 having time alone while she's gone, though. Funny. Even more than I'd be concerned she'd see or talk 2 RM. One of the things talked about during the interview was how easy it is for someone 2 keep secrets if they want 2. If my W wants 2 hide contact, she certainly can. But if she does? Long term, I'll know. I'm not s2pid in that way anymore.

-ol' 2long

RU kidding?

Mr Pep might as well get his MAIL delivered at that store ... he goes there ALL the time ... sometimes dragging me by my hair behind him caveman style!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

All seriousness aside, though. Got a lot gunshyer after Coach.

Doesn't my sitch sound a little phoney? (I don't believe his is, by the way).

But really, it's like weaver said. I can get bogged down in my time here, and lose sight of the really important things. Done that many times, I think.

-ol' 2long

Hi krusht:

I don't know if I've ever read your story. Is it out there somewhere?


I learned about emotional unavailability from Spacecase. But he's DV'd now, and living happily ever after (don't they all? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />) so he doesn't post much 'ne more.

I kind of miss those LONG posts and convos we had a 2ple and 3 years ago. But I don't miss my state of mind back then. YIKES!

-ol' 2long

I'm hungry

Well 2long,
I keep wondering if she has changed anything. If she talks to you, if she is sorry. If she cares about your feelings - if she shows that she IS SORRY by how she talks to you, and how she treats you from day to day.

Stuff like that.

Pep, are you doing well?

SS

Hungry?
I have half a bagle, that no one has claimed yet.

SS

I'm not really hungry. I decided I am sleepy. Been up since 4.

My H is out of town ... and I miss him today. (he left yesterday ... I'm a wimp)

whaaaaaaaaa

Yeah, that stuff is there, and I try 2 be ready for it and able 2 respond if it's called for. She doesn't seem 2 want 2 talk about all this yet. I think she's still battling herself internally. There's still some denial (including the river in Egypt) and blame-shifting or revisionism that I sense (like the anger at the world remark).

I guess I'm not concerned about her seeing RM at the conference because I know she's bringing HF along 2 appease me, but also probably 2 help her resist HIM.

For now, this can be HER process. I've offered 2 help, many times, and she's not wanted my help.

JL said this would take long. 2long, I figure. But I'll hang in there for a while, unless things take a 2rn for the worse.

-ol' 2long

Pep,

the story is:
Tenner shoe blight


BTW, you don't have to bother if you don't want to ....... as always.

If it were me, I think I would have a nap.

I can give you an 800 number if you need it. (for missing your H.)

SS

2long,
Are you happy from day to day?
Looking forword to the next day?

Or just wondering what to do still?

SS