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I am back after a reeeally hard work week. Previous week was spent on call and got called in every single damn night and slept at hospital 2x. At least that means job security? My house is a total wreck from my exhaustion and lack of being there basically. I feel like a horrid puppy owner b/c I haven't walked my 2 dogs in four days...but am gonna do it tomorrow morning. Am staying home tonight and cleaning house and watching spongebob w/my son and kangaroo jack.

My personal life is good. Met a few decent guys. But am most pumped up about going to orlando again w/my son for labor day! we're gonna have so much fun! Fella starts first grade on monday. I have taken 2 hours off work to take him to breakfast, and walk him into his first day of FIRST GRADE! Yep...and pictures too!

Here's where I am worried. His dad's off again and gone waaay off deep end. I think the divorce is coming faster than I thought.

Apparently, my xh had convinced his W that he had no more intentions of dating 21 yo girl he met...but that's wrong.
I have kept my distance healthily from his present W (former ow)but she called me on thurs. to say that "he's going to bahamas with 21 yo!". Seems x had booked trip to bahamas supposing it is for a business trip and deal and a poker tournament as well (atlantis). Ironically, this is where I spent my first anniversary w/him, and went at least 3 times with him. Ironically where he proposed to the pregnant then girlfriend while married to me. Not very original huh? Such is the mind of the fogged.

She said to me that she's had it...she cannot believe anything at all. That all w/her attorney was back on. She confronted him that day and she called me back to say "do you think he's really telling the truth when he said he cancelled the plane tickets for the ow and her best friend?" X had told her he wanted to work on his family, blah blah blah...be there for his kids...blah blah blah. And showed her a printout of the tix cancellation for the 21 yo and her buddy (playmate apparently for a business partner). I said "why would he change?" Again, I did not say much, as I M hoping for peace and am keeping my son as far out of this mess until all goes down..which I'd guesss will happen within six months.

My son goes back to visit his dad on wednesday. And I am afraid to send him back knowing what I know now. And I might not.

Today I am with my son playing at a chuckie cheese w/my buddy and her son who's in his class at school this year too! My cell keeps buzzing and buzzing. I look down and see where X's W has paged me five times. I step out and see she's frantic. Her p.i. did some investigating and found out that my xh has bought secretly additional plane tickets on another airline for the 21 yo and her friend and that they arrived yesterday in bahamas...and that his present W, Family Values, is on the tarmac right now, and was flying herself and her best friend (all paid for on my xh's credit card...remember he's such a poor man) to the resort where imho...a very ugly and unholy confrontation is to happen in...ah, I'd say about 2 hours from NOW>

I tell her that this can't happen. This is not a solution. She took her baby to her sister's house. I tell her an ugly confrontation will not stop anything and that they both could land in jail tonight in a foreign country.

I even inlist the help of a former MB'er who wanted to help her see that reactions are almost 100 percent wrong when not thought about for a good while.

I am worried what will happen with regards to my son. That home is imho...completely unstable. I have spoken 2x with my attorney. He says to still wait until she goes in and slams him down..he says it is going to be easier that way to prove our allegations if she goes in first.

Guess I am just venting here. But i swear, when a WS keeps dancing down the adultery road, they never exit completely. He hasn't phoned his son in five days.

When my son has gone to the x's house, mostly family values was around. My attorney says to let son go there, b/c if I deny his dad the right legally of seeing his son without proving the allegations (before court) that it would make many judges angry at ME despite my being reasonable. So I have to send him off until such time. And again, I'd never take my son away from him completely, just do a rearrangement of the schedule so that son is mostly w/me...I do pray his dad gets his life together and sees how he will lose a son and a daughter if he does not stop this behavior.

So in about 2 hours from this post, a very ugly scene will ensue in the casino at atlantis resort. I can't bear to think what will go on. What I do know is that all ****** is going to break loose and I am praying none of the pieces of ****** fall into the life of my little boy.

God's been good allowing me to forgive the former ow. I know she's human, she's sorry, and that she was lied to by myu then H. And yes, most OW do believe the lies told by the WS. They sure do. They believe hook line and sinker the following: 1)they don't have sex anymore (wrongo. I even miscarried during early separation) 2)They are only roomates and no romance (wrongo) 3) they are treated badly by their W (wrongo again)

I even surprised her child this week by taking him along with my son to the Jim Dale reading of the Harry Potter stories (he's the famous guy doing all the books on tape for the series...emmy's and grammy's and such). Got their books signed and they had a lot of fun. I really hurt for that little boy. He is sweet. And the baby...the baby wanders around the townhome and calls any guy who talked to her for longer than a minute "daddy". Makes my heart sickened.

Please pray for my son. Pray for wisdom for me as I get my son through a time when his dad is just not gonna be there maybe at all for him. Pray that tonight this woman, his W chooses to NOT react and that nothing stupid happens...I am afraid somebody WILL react and land in jail...and I do not know British law as the bahamas are a commonwealth of britain I believe. Know that the day in court for a custody hearing is looming...and I am dreading the day I see the inside of a courtroom again.

Yours truly, a single, overworked, house cleaning, non-glamorous (at least for tonight and the next few days) friend in MB,
Peachy.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Oh yea...forgot to add that his W has said that my original court info is going to be admitted in her petition for divorce. But then again, it shows HEr as the OW and places me in a good light. I will most likely be subpoenae'd to verify allegations of spousal abuse, abandonment, and adultery issues...and issues regarding his not being there for his kids.

And yes, my attorney will probably have to be present when I give testimony on that. And then after, is when we will almost simultaneously petition the court for a custody modification. But she has to do the work first. Just wanted to clarify things.

We're getting ready for a thunderstorm here. I am gonna sit outside, pray, and think about stuff and life. Son is peacefully watching spongebob.

I want all this drama to stop.

All I want is my son. And a little bit of time to do some housework now and then. Nights of peace and serenity. Time, quality time with my boy. Seeing his smile when he gets up, and patting him on the back when he needs support. Cheering for him at the games. Going to work in the morning never worrying about anything but work at hand. During the divorce 2 years ago, during the proceedings and multiple court hearings, I could barely focus on work at work. It was horrible. I dread court so much but know it is inevitable if I am to have my son back and to do the right thing.

All I want is to make sure I am the right kinda mom for him.

Maybe why I can't focus on dating now or anything else is because of this. Son is always first. Work is always second to him.

Pray for us ok?


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Oh Peachy, your X is really a piece of work! I'm so sorry he's still wreaking havoc in your life as well as the lives of his W, his children, and his step child. I will pray for everything to work out for you and your son and that you have some serenity in your lives. Sorry, I can't pray that your X and/or his W don't end up in jail, only for God's will there. Thank goodness you and your son are well out of harm's way right now. You sound like you've already taken care of ensuring as little harm is done to your son as possible by his crazy father. What a horrible example your X is setting of how a man should behave toward his family and toward women. Very sad.


FBS, D'day 12/00 * NC since 5/02 * divorce final 5/06 * property settlement 9/06 What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has Magic, Power, and Genius in it. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Of course, I'll keep you in my prayers.

Don't worry so much, Peachy. Thanks to the fact you are divorced from this lunatic man, the damage the unstable home inflicts on your child will be minimal. Think about it. The lifestyle your son experiences at FV's house is not the only lifestyle he sees. He comes home to the environment you made. I think the challenge for you will be to continue to provide excellent male role models for your son. When he sees Cousin George coming home from work every night at 6:30, playing catch with his children, mowing the lawn, basically being there, you son will learn. Sure, he feel sorry he doesn't have a good dad like other kids, but I doubt he'll be truly damaged.

You know, it won't be the end of the world if your X walks completely out of your son's life. If that happens, it may even turn out for the best.

I'm not surprised Jethro took the new one to the same place. He likes the place. He likes the woman in about the same way as he likes the resort. None of his women have been special to him. They were just pieces, objects. I expect he'll take this one to Disney, too, so just be prepared.


Divorced.
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Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Well, Peachy, you already know that your son should be your main concern. Do what you can to protect hime.

Why his current wife calls you to complain about him is beyhond me. I think she is a bit nuts. Well, actually, she sounds like an insecure, psycho witch.

Obviously, if you can get your son out of that environment that would be best. Alas, our laws often don't do much to help. Just do your best and know that your son knows it now and will understand it even more as he grows older. Kids know who is messing with them and who is supporting them.


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Thanks Lets,GG, and Justin.

I am not hearing anything today...geez. I am just sick and tired of the whole thing and want life for all of us to settle down.

But alas, with an alien in my sons' family, that cannot happen. He's probably one of the worst MB aliens ever imho. All wrapped up in an attractive, wealthy package that is a magnet to all golddigging chickiepoos on this planet.

We're going to brunch in a few minutes. We're going to have a nice day and are at the moment attempting to figure out what in the heck we're gonna do after lunch. Am going to buy a new bookcase for his room (too many darn books) and then maybe to a museum or something? Gotta celebrate last day b/f school starts.

And yea, I do hope to get him back even more. And that is probably why and the main reason I am talking to ow/W now. Plus, I hate to see anybody hurt for no reason basically. I know firsthand how hard it is to be an abused wife...both mentally and physically (at times) and also cheated on. He's all three...and a walkaway dad imho. But if you asked him, he'd say (alien talk)...
"My wives (yes he says PLURAL NOW) never understood me or tried to meet my needs...not appreciative at all of the lifestyle I gave them (past tense). I'm a great dad...I give to my son all the time and I even get him almost half the time...and that's hard to get these days".

That's the garbage my xh spout out to the new 21 year old dummy.

He told FV that "you've got 30 days to show me how you should treat me. 30 days as my wife. And during this time, I am gonna do what I want to do because FOR SO LONG NOW, I'VE GIVEN TO EVERYBODY ELSE...AND NOW I WANT TO ENJOY MY LIFE..FOR ME...SO either show me how you are going to treat a husband or else."

I translated that for her. HE's saying she has 30 days to shut up, sit back, not complain, and serve him and wait on him hand and foot like a slave while he goes out, travels to exotic places, and shows other women a good time and is an absent dad during all of this...all of this when he decides if and when he even wants to ever have a family.

It's sickening. To think that a guy believes he is privileged enough to spout those words out to anybody and believe them.

I am so blessed I do not carry this burden anymore. And it's sad he places all the blame on their M failure on her. It's his fault. How could they even have one? He got engaged to her at that darn resort while still married to me. Married her due to the baby she carried and she knows it. It was imho, not a marriage of anything but somewhat legality and duty and everybody knew it was doomed.

The day my xh changed and took the step one down the WS road was the day my marriage died b/c my H died that day. He never came back. Like invasion of body snatchers or something. But in a wierd way, this whole transformation of my xh, into the THING he is today, is healing.

I know this is NOT about me. I did not fail my H...he failed his family. My son is great. He's loved so much. He's wonderful. Truly wonderful. Apple of peach's eye...And it's helped me move on.

I just want him to be safe around this monster. He's sick. is a sick man. And he believes there is nothing wrong with him at all.

My greatest fear is that I do not heal enough and remarry anybody with even one characteristic of my xh. Am so frightened that this could ever happen to us again. Maybe this is why I build such high fences, walls. I don't know. But I do know that my son and I are happy together. That is what I pray for. My son's happiness and health and future. Spent some time with another former MB'er on phone last night out on front porch during thunderstorm praying about just that. Our friends here we make are priceless and last...and last...and keep on ticking. Like a timex.

For us who've all made this journey from married to divorced and fought the good fight together, we are I guess a wierd family of sorts.

I just want to see where this all ends. What pieces fall into place. I wish I could have a crystal ball and see five years into my future where we are, what's happening with my son and I. If I were a bet placing girl, I'd say that by then I will have my son back full time, but that my xh will always be around, tempting my son with money and cars and toys..maybe I'll be married. Maybe not. Maybe I'll be so happy alone. Maybe I'll go back to school (which I hope to do) and maybe I will have already graduated.

I just want to know how this life is going to play out.

To think that this horrid man has done so much to wreck my 30's. Even one minute wasted is too much.

I see people struggling and hurting on gqII. And sometimes they're back afer a year or maybe six mos. I feel like telling them "maybe it's not up to you...maybe it's b/c your WS is defunct. Void. Maybe it's time to cut loose and move on and not waste 1 more minute of your life not being at peace, or happy."

That's what I feel like saying.

Gotta go. Get off this darn soapbox. Time for life and living the last day b/f my son goes off to first grade. I love that little man. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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"I know this is NOT about me."
Oh honey. It is.
Because X saw something in you that he thought he could manipulate for a very long time. He saw it in FV too.
Maybe you should look at this piece with any new relationship, and make sure you establish great boundaries.
Too many of us on the boards had poor boundary habits.
It soo easy to see it outside our own lives.

Good Luck to you and your son.


It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
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Quote
My greatest fear is that I do not heal enough and remarry anybody with even one characteristic of my xh. Am so frightened that this could ever happen to us again. Maybe this is why I build such high fences, walls. I don't know.
I know this fear well. I agree with what Newly said except I believe boundaries will come naturally when we love and respect ourselves enough not to allow the kind of bad treatment we allowed in our marriages.

Somehow, we need to learn to trust again. Otherwise, we'll continue to hide behind our protective walls. First and foremost, we need to be able to trust ourselves. We need to love, honor, and protect ourselves before we can expect anyone else to love, honor, and protect us.

I would agree with you that you have one of the worst MBX's - wow, what a distinction, huh? - and you're right, his behavior is definitely not about you. My STBXH's behavior has been pretty bad, too, and this is all the more reason for us to discover what it was in us that attracted them and what it was in them that attracted us so we don't attract more like them!


FBS, D'day 12/00 * NC since 5/02 * divorce final 5/06 * property settlement 9/06 What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has Magic, Power, and Genius in it. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Peachy, your x is truly a piece of work.....raunchy, rotten, bad work. And you are doing well, it sounds, in handling it. My heart goes out to you. I will try to pray for you during the next few months - for however long it takes for you to endure this current round of stinkiness.

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Peachy -

I would also say that you are dealing with a personality much like my XHs. Fortunately, since we had no kids, I have been able to completely remove myself from all the drama. But there are kids involved - OWs from her marriage (XH and OW were both cheating), and one they are going to have soon. I know about this because I still go out to a web page and forum he runs because I still have a lot of friends there. And he uses that page to announce these kinds of things. Boy do I feel sorry for those kids.

But anyway... back to the point. You say you lost H when he became WH, that he changed. I would contend that he didn't really change, he just quit putting up the front he needed to use with you to get what he wanted. I think he is a man who knows what to say and what to do to charm a woman in whom he is interested. That you were fooled into marrying a man that didn't really exist. I know that's how I feel.

But that's not to say that we couldn't have prevented it. I would guess that we were both a little too trusting, a little too eager to buy into what he was selling. And maybe a little too naive. And, as newly said, I think we didn't enforce boundaries well.

I think this is important because knowing what you were really dealing with is important when it comes to knowing what to avoid. I've said many times that I wonder if my XH didn't develop real mental problems. So much of what he did and said just made no sense at all that it's easy to believe that.

But I realize that part of the attractiveness of that idea is that it means I didn't do anything wrong. After all, he developed a mental illness. I couldn't forsee that, and there's nothing I could have done that would make a difference.

The idea that he suddenly changed is attractive for the same reasons. If he just decided one day to be a different person, that means that the person I fell in love with really was a good one, I chose well, and who could predict that one day he would just change that way? It absolves me from any responsibility.

But I think the truth is - the person that reared his ugly head the last half of my marriage was there all along. He just hid it well. And I was needy. He could see that enough to know that if he portrayed himself as what I was looking for, I would buy it. I wouldn't try too hard to look beneath the mask he was showing me.

I've struggled with these issues a lot too. If I was so easily fooled by him, how can I know? How can I trust myself to pick a better person next time.

In thinking about all this, I think I've decided a lot of it all boils down to one word - excuses. Oh, we all mess up from time to time, and no one is perfect, but as I look back, I can see that there was always a need for excuses, right from the beginning. I made excuses for his behavior to other people, even though I was embarrased by his behavior. I made excuses for him, instead of being mad and letting him come up with his own excuses. And I let him get by on excuses he did make, even though the fact that he needed to make so many of them should have warned me. It was always someone else's fault. He was always getting even with someone, or trying to "show" someone. He always had to be right. Instead of being able to just make suggestions, I found myself finding ways to make him think things I came up with were actually his ideas, because if they were mine, then they were wrong. He had to be the one to think of something for it to be a good thing.

Excuses. This is a new revelation for me. Where was my BS (and I don't mean betrayed spouse!) detector in all this? The answer is simple - I turned it off, because I so much wanted to believe what he was telling me. Then, after we'd been married a while, I kept it off because turning it on might have meant that I'd have to face up to the fact that I had made a mistake, and since I don't really believe in divorce, it was a huge mistake to own up to. It seemed easier to continue with the excuses than to face the truth.

Wow - I don't know if any of this resonates with you Peachy, but it's a HUGE revelation for me.


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OX you said it well. We saw what we wanted to see. My X also had no personal responsibility, everyone else was to blame.
I see so much of what you say in my M.

Peachy, are you writing this story down?, because it could easily become a network movie of the week. It's just too bizarre to be believable. The only thing missing is if he kills his new wife to move on to the next one - since he's found out that D is too expensive with you.

Reality is far stranger than fiction.


It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
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Lets--thanks!
Cindy--thanks also..he is a creep.
oxsgirl--I have learned my mistakes...and am darned committed to NOT making them again <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Newly--actually I am writing a book...loosely based on my life...I was section editor of my med yearbook for the university and was for 3 years editor of h.s. newspaper back yonder...incidentally, I kill off the OW at the end of book...actually I don't do it, she does it to herself and is based on loosely the loose ow1, monkeyho! lmao.

Update: No word whatever from FV. I think her silence says she was bought off.

As in how the basketball player last year "bought off" his lovely W Vanessa with the 5 carat ring?

She's not uttered one peep.

Except for a stupid email today from her. Acting all goofy and sending a silly email video clip.

Guess leopards don't change their spots either...once a OW...still a OW...

She'll never learn and that's ok. I have made peace with myself. And with the sitch.

And I know that I am sooooo much better off without my xh in my life...

Now what sucks is this...what 2 do about my son and knowing what my xh is up to. If FV does NOT move forward w/divorce, I am to live with this info? She'll turn on me in a dime if I file against xh for custody of my son.

But in the end, she knows who he is and what he is all about.

I am just glad I am able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning...knowing that it is not my fault that I broke up a marriage as she did. I am glad I am able to be the sane parent for my child. It is hurting to know that I am having to probably figure out what to do now on my own...and it's sad b/c I know my xh will continue with the adultery and abuse. Which means my son may have to be subjected to seeing more of their crap when under their roof.

Think it is time for me to NOT accept any more of her calls or emails. I think more boundaries are in order. Whenever my xh cheats, beats, or lies or whatever...it is not my job to be her "sounding board". She made her bed, and all I want is for my son to not see their stupidity and horrid actions in that home. My dorky xh is what he is and we know he's a lying cheating abusing jerk.

$$$ means more than anything to ow2, FV. Heck, after all $$$ is what led to her choosing a married man. $$$ is what made her quit taking the pill. And now $$$ is more to her than doing the right thing, being a proactive mom, and standing up and saying no to abuse and adultery. I guess a liar is always a liar.

Her email forward was sent to me, xMIL, xGrandmother on xH's side, her dad, etc. Clearly, she's staying for the $$$. I guess it's too hard to attempt to go to college, be honorable, and stand up for respect. Oh well...it is NOT my life.

I so want to figure this out. How to proceed ahead knowing if I go after xh and custody of my boy knowing that most likely despite all he's done to his W, she will turn on me.

Oh...incidentally, she said to me during last conversation this gem of information...again, what a charmer my xh!

FV: "Wanna know what he said? He said if WE break up and divorce, You should not be friends in any way with Peachy...I know the second we divorce SHE WILL WANT ME BACK! "

Peach: "A man can dream can't he? I am done. Been done. Not going back ever"

Bleech. Burp. Gag. Any disgusting noise or sound you may insert here.

I think the 2 of them TOTALLY DESERVE EACH OTHER.

But MY SON DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE AROUND THEIR CRAP.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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I just so wanted things to work out for my little one <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> He's there now. Visiting.

Knowing what I know, it s making me sick.

I guess I just need to think about the logistics now since most likely I am on my own in this...that I will not have the ow there to corroborate why my xh is an unfit dad should I go after custody.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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I hope you didn't let her know of your plans Peachy?

Peachy don't interact with this person anymore, not saying be mean but you do not need to be "bud's" and in fact I think you know why now Right?

Married or not Peachy, those 2 are still in the throes of an affair and make zero sense.

You, your son, your job...only 3 things that matter today.


"Who are you" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.

Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present...At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
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Thanks Reborn <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You're right.

Update: FV called me yesterday and I did not speak much. Am going to stick 2 my redefined boundaries. Turns out she had just flown in from the bahamas...busted Darth cold w/OW and OW's best friend who was there with a business associate of Darth's...bleeech. Darth as it would turn out, hopped a plane back for GA next morning...OW and her buddy stayed on until Monday as their vacations WERE PAID FOR BY DARTH....and FV decided to ALSO HAVE DARTH PAY FOR HER and stayed there herself until monday.

Fogese is rampant apparently. All she said before I said I had to go was that she was there with her best friend too...and that they met up with some really nice people (can we say guys)and they hung out with a really nice married couple and had downtime for her to think...what's there 2 think about????

Both are still in affair mode...and now she may be returning the cheating favor.

I asked only that if my son was placed in any questionable sitch, that she call me asap. She agreed. She said she got my son from school and that Darth was very wierd. Just sitting around, breathing, and taking up space. Not speaking, not doing anything.

Before I got off the quick call, she said Darth told her "Did Peachy tell you to get an investigator...???This seemed (the getting busted thing in bahamas)just like what Peachy would have done way back when..." Seems darth is having flashbacks to my D Days...serves the a$$ well.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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uH. It's wierd now.

Reeeeally wierd.

My best girlfriend from back home flew in town this weekend. We went to dinner last night and had fun. Tonight I am going to get my son and take him to dinner with her.

I called x yesterday to ask him...he says :
Sure. You can get him after I get back from CHURCH...(I almost fall onto floor). That's not a problem. WE'RE GOING TO CHURCH tomorrow. I ask "great, what church are you going to attend?" He doesn't know. Just says he's gonna walk into a church basically.

Today I call after supposed "church time". Darth did NOT go to church adn was instead spending the day at the lake with my son and his buddy and were going to grill out on the boat dock, ride boat and jet skiis and the like. His WIFE is not going to be there as per Darth's words...then darth asks "Hey Peach...why don't you and T (my best friend whom he knows well) come by and you two can hang out with us and ride jet skis and we can grill out?"

Bleech vomit. Puke, hurl!!!

Oh my goodness. I do believe my xh asked me out. And it's kinda obvious now that he's not reconciling with the Wife either. No church and now wanted me to hang out w/him? Let's see. Hm. 21 year old girlfriend sees him get busted at resort last weekend. I think she may be gone. Wifey no. 3 and former homewrecker in my marriage has had enough...I think she may be gone. Now I think Darth is probably saying "hm. Maybe Peachy was NOT that bad. I guess I can try for a date with old reliable faithful and good wifeypoo Peachy."

Uh. No.

Not this girl.

He and I aren't really friends at all. We are cordial for the sake of our child, but I know who he really is.

Despite the dating horrors in Atlanta, I am not nor will I be willing to ever run back to that uh...well kinda man.

It totally freaked me out.]

And to think that 2 years ago I would have gone. Not now.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Quote
I know who he really is.

ummmmmm??? satan

that's my guess <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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that's hilarious.

But sad thing...is he really thinks he's a good person. Misunderstood, but good.

Kinda like that S guy...if you think of it.

I call him Darth b/c he started out good, turned to the dark side, and thinks he looks good in black...black luxury suv's , black mercedes, etc.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Peachy, I know you shouldn't be talking with FV, but this is really too entertaining. Sad, but funny. I love that Darth thought you'd come up with the Bahamas plan. He must think FV is really dumb.

I was willing to give FV the benefit of the doubt for a while. However, since she elected to stay behind at a resort rather than go home with her husband, I'm not going to give her any slack.

I think it's pretty darn funny that Darth thinks you'll go out with him again. It is like he thinks he's still married to you. The man has a personality disorder and is evil. Period.


Divorced.
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Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Thanks GG. And no, I am not budging. Ironically, yesterday he emailed me some bible verses. Bleech.

And in a twist of fate, today I took 1/2 day off work b/c I was feeling just yucky. (mild stomach flu going around the hospital). Went into the walgreens around the corner and lo and behold! It is FV that drives into space beside me in my xh's white beemer. Bleech again.

She jumps out and is all friendly to me. Seems she was actually there doing something for my son (so that is good) picking up a prescription his pediatrician called in for him. We talked about my son, she said "geez. hon, you don't look good (thanks alot fomer OW)...your eyes are a bit blood shot. You ok?" I say thanks but I have the flu. She says "well you don't look that bad I mean. Just your eyes." Bleeech again.

She then says "look, the nanny is in the car with me (why in the heck does a nanny go driving around w/her anyway?) and I have something to show you. She walked in w/me and she showed me some of the photos she confiscated from xh's hotel room in Atlantis when she busted him. She had grabbed several disposable cameras the four chickiepoos evidently had with them on the trip paid for by my broke xh, Darth.

I almost vomited...and not from the flu.

In photos, saw several of all four of the girls w/him. One pic was especially nice...of my xh on a four poster bed with all the cute girls (look like teenagers if you ask me) all piled on top and around him wearing camisoles and undies like one big slumber party! How adorable...(bleech). Then saw photos of him and his "girlfriend"...and double bleech. What's scary is she looks like I did (but with brown eyes) maybe 10 years...or 15 (she is 21 you know) ago. I know FV saw that too. And there's this oh so sweet pic of her and him asleep together on the bed. How lovely! Then there are the ones that the judge is gonna scream at him about...pics of 3 of the 4 naked in a bathtub drinking wine and eating grapes. How bacchanalian of them! And then there's one of a naked chick falling over laughing with another girl naked too nearby. Several naked photos. Bleech bleech.

Several of the girls at the casino w/Darth. All walking with darth and his girlfriend. Darth, arm and arm with his 21 year old girlfriend and the "friends" walking behind them.

Who in the hades does Darth believe he is? Hugh HEfner? I think the man truly believes he is Hugh Hef.

FV after showing them to me, says that she's getting the other cameras developed today. And it's probably even worse stuff. But enoughf or a judge.

I know they're headed for splitsville and soon. She says so again, but I am staying a bit outta this for my sanity and for my son.

Unless she proceeds ahead w/the divorce, I stay in the background. My attny agrees w/me. He says if she sings to the xh, Darth, I could get in a bit of trouble with THEM vs. ME mentality that they used to get off on...

I must admit this. I am having a very difficult time after seeing the photos.

It is one thing knowing your xh has had affairs. But it is another thing SEEING him do these things first hand. It is was, and will be sick for me.

And to think this man sent me bible verses yesterday...ones from Psalms no doubt.

I am having a difficult time today. My son has a cold. I have the flu stuff...and I have now burned in my memory something I wish that I had not seen. But then again, what I have to come to grips with is that my H...is dead. He's more than a WS. He is dating almost kids imho...I mean, I hope to heck that those 4 girls were NOT UNDER AGE.

I am sickened to my stomach seeing that. It is really hard. As if any memories I had that were good which remained...are now completely destroyed.

FV looked with me at the pics and showed NO emotion. I said, well now I can say that when I found out you were living with him, that I cried and yelled. I cannot understand how you can calmly stand there and show me this stuff. She said this..."well I know who he is now don't I?"

I am sorry I wasted 7 years married and 2 years together with this man. I am sorry for everything except for the 9 days spent in hospital preparing for the birth of my son.

What gets me most is the look on his face in those pictures. I wonder if drugs were a part of the whole thing? He looks smug. He looked calm. He looked hazy but happy.

Some of the stuff in one photo could only happen if somebody was NOT in their right mind...I truly wonder what would happen if the girls' parents saw these pictures. It was as if Darth was trying to start a new girls gone wild bahamas edition.

Maybe that's what he should do. Run that company. It would perfectly fit the ahole.

I am darn angry. Angry I had to go thru any of this. I am angry my son had to go thru any of this.

I spend 2 years going about healing....all the while dabbling in dating when I think things are good...and then I find myself reliving this crap again with the demise of his affair marriage. Why cant this man go away and leave the life of my son? If he did we'd have nothing but peace.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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