Glad to hear your session with Steve is helping. He's great isn't he!?!?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

U R on the right path. Keep on truckin'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

It is in my nature to try and fix and heal things (makes me a good nurse). I have to accept that I can only fix myself. My WH is on his own timetable, unless he wants it all the duct tape in the world will not hold this marriage together.

I guess I can relax a little. Talking w/ Steve reassured me that I'm on the right path. Its easier for me if I'm actively doing something with a plan and goal in mind. I was concerned I was wasting time going in the wrong direction. So now that I'm headed in the right direction I hope WH can follow a map to join me. But you know how men are with asking for directions! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Just before we got married H & I bought and started to renovate an old house (built around 1903)that I just loved. It had been unlived in (except for raccoons) for 30 years. We totally gutted the house, new plumbing, new electric, new roof, new everything. It was "Its a Wonderful Life" kind of house to me. Its where we started our life together, our family and our dreams for the future. We did all the work ourselves side by side. It took us 7 years to finish it...then we sold it and bought my grandmother's house when she passed away (our current house). We are about 1 mile from our old house.

Yesterday it caught on fire. I went to see it last night and was so sad. We put so much of ourselves in that house. The damage looked really bad to me and I believed they would have to demolish the house. I told WH how emotional I felt about the fire and how the house was a symbol of us and how sad I was the house was damaged beyond repair.

Today he emailed me...he found out the house will not be demolished and will be rebuilt.

My thoughts are maybe we can rebuild too.

Interesting change of events. Sad to hear about that house but glad to hear u r ok. You know going through diasters make some of us take a different look at life. Losing something we put soo much into makes most of us stop and think..... is the WS even capable of that kind of thinking???? Maybe. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

...no particular reason why. Its raining, hot and muggy. I found myself humming for no reason. More then usually people are starting conversations and saying hello ( I work in busy hospital. Going from floor to floor to talk to different patients.) I made 3 of my patients laugh so hard we had to splint their incisions and the rest of them brighten and gave me a smile. I FEEL good...I think this is happy.!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WH is coming home from business trip tonight often I feel anxious, almost dreading him coming home. Not today. I am looking forward to seeing him.

I'm not sure where this good day came from but I'll thank God for and it and enjoy it. It wasn't so long ago I can remember wondering if I'd ever have a day that I didn't cry.
I guess this is progress.

I wish I could share this feeling with all of you...oops guess I just did!

C42,

You bet it's 'progress'. I am so happy for you and thanks for sharing.

That sounds great Confused!!!

You really seem to be making progress.

This is just plain crazy! I am so frustrated I could spit. Why in the world is it so hard to talk to my own husband??!!Not even about big things, little things...I start a conversation it falls on deaf ears or he literally walks away.

I've been trying to bring up the conversation with SH, but I am getting no where. I wanted it to come out in conversation and not as an arguement to give him further reason to resist. At this point I am wondering why I am even trying to save this marriage. I can talk to anybody regardless of race, gender or creed ...but this dam alien!!!!Right now I can picture my life being more peaceful and happy without him more then with him. (that scares me a little)

I feel stuck! Does plan B work if the A is over or does it just help BS/WS detach more quickly. And if so do I want WS to detach more then he is already? I do not want to be spend the rest of my life with a man who ignores me. His mom was like that...she was miserable at home but when her friends came around she would light up and be very chatty.

Boy do I hear you C42!!

I think I am right where you are. So I can't offer advice, only support because I am at a loss right now!

How have you vets dealt with this kind of thing? 2x4's are welcome...I know I am making this more complicated then it needs to be.I just don't know how to deal with this. I have the tools but I need help using them. I know there are no gaurantees but I could really use some advice.

I stole this quote from Pep's Complicated "Chit" thread.

I think it is probably fear of doing the "wrong" thing that keeps me from confronting WH and forcing the issues. Just as he doesn't want to be the bad guy I don't want to be the one responsible for breaking our family apart.

I mean he is responsible because of A, but it looks like I will be the one telling him to leave. "I didn't want to go but Mommy made me leave."

Me too Confused! I think I don't want to be the one to finally say leave and really mean it! I think my WH feels the same way. He does not want to tell the kids he has decided to leave.

I should change my name to confused too!!

I went to back to school night. WH stayed home with kids. I saw a friend I haven't seen in a while. She asked how things "were". I said "I don't know.'

She said they have to be better he chose you didn't he? He is home everynight because I see his car there. So he's not out drinking, he quit his committees and especially *** that he was President of and belonged to for 9 years. He gave up that whole group of friends. I never see her around anywhere its like she (OW) dropped of the face of the earth. She was always around town. She hung around him along time. Maybe its just gonna take him a while to adjust.

All of that is true. My friend has no knowledge of MB, but it is an outside view of my situation. So now I wondering...I know we are not in recovery...could this be withdrawl? What did withdrawl look like for your WS's?