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I suspect charismatic Pepperband (the face shown to the world) is really quite frightened of looking at authentic Pepperband because she is afraid that she is ugly and broken.
And all of these other things are excuses.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Mimi ... I can't help you right now, I am needing help myself.
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And to add to that, Pepperband is frightened of letting someone else see that authentic Pepperband, because when that person sees that awful ugly broken Pepperband, that person will reject her.
Fear of not being good enough...projected onto possible sponsors...
Last edited by BrambleRose; 08/10/05 12:16 PM.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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I suspect charismatic Pepperband (the face shown to the world) is really quite frightened of looking at authentic Pepperband because she is afraid that she is ugly and broken.
And all of these other things are excuses. Fear that I am ugly? Doesn't feel authentic. I felt no reaction reading this. ooooh !!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> hold on .... just felt something fear that I am mean! This feels authentic.
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Go back and reread, i had to edit cuz i left something out
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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And to add to that, Pepperband is frightened of letting someone else see that authentic Pepperband, because when that person sees that awful ugly broken Pepperband, that person will reject her.
Fear of not being good enough...projected onto possible sponsors... Well, BR, this brings me back to yesterday's reveal with my H. He did not reject. He embraced.
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yes. and can that lesson be applied to a sponsor selection too?
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Fear of not being good enough...projected onto possible sponsors... I donno BR ... I like myself too much!
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Ok then, so what do you need a sponsor for?
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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yes. and can that lesson be applied to a sponsor selection too? OK ... here's what feel authentic right now ... My whole life, I have had no problem making friends, keeping friends, attracting people to me. And there have been times when I felt weighed down by some people who wanted to be a part of my space. I desire a strong person/sponsor who does not need me to be strong. What are you going to say to this??? I cannot imagine ! LOL
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Well...my dear.
Sounds like boundary issues and spiritual laziness.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Ok then, so what do you need a sponsor for? to beat the living**** out of my arrogant [censored].
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Well...my dear.
Sounds like boundary issues and spiritual laziness. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> ... yes it does. How does that reconcile with the "mean" person I want to be sometimes?
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Pep, it could be a defensive move: to protect yourself.
pretty confused
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to beat the living**** out of my arrogant [censored]. And back to my point about your fear of being bad. Are you so bad that you feel you deserve to be beaten? And yes, you want someone else to do the work. Let me point out that a sponsor doesn't "need" their sponsees to be strong.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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to beat the living**** out of my arrogant [censored]. And back to my point about your fear of being bad. Are you so bad that you feel you deserve to be beaten? And yes, you want someone else to do the work. Let me point out that a sponsor doesn't "need" their sponsees to be strong. I understand the last thing you said. Are you saying I might beat up my own arrogance? Instead of relying on my sponsor to do it for me? I see.
Last edited by Pepperband; 08/10/05 12:38 PM.
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Geewiz BR ... this was good for me.
Lot's to chew on.
Gotta go do other things.
Will check back in later.
Thanks a bunch for your time.
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No. I think you want a sponsor who will hand recovery to you on a silver platter.
And I think you feel that you deserve to be punished because you do not think you are good enough.
And fear of being truely seen (and found not good enough) makes you throw up excuses to asking for help.
Ok, I have to get some work done. I want you to just think.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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I desire a strong person/sponsor who does not need me to be strong. hummmmm... Highlighted for emphasis. I think there is a key in here.
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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And fear of being truely seen (and found not good enough) makes you throw up excuses to asking for help. I was following everything but this... EXCUSES for help? Please explain what you are referring to.
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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