Shattered

I agree with your analogy. I never owned Columbus but that little guy sure owned me

2Long

As far as I am concerned, it always has. Why do you think these "reality " shows are such a big hit

Cy,

You'd better start listening to those messages. C/b a warning of what's to come and u s/b prepared. Don't want to hear 'bout ya in the papers, ok?

An out of control Ws (aren't they all), is not a good sign. The fact that neighbors are calling to warn you is another show stopper.

Don't be stubborn or stupid. She is in on a rampage and you s/b at the very least prepared. Let your support watch team know to be on the look out for you. Thank them for their support.

Does the GF know about this incident? Is she afraid? Should she be?

take care,
L.

Orchid,

A close friend has been saying that he was sure that my WW was checking up on me, he felt it was just in her nature. He is now laughing, saying I told you.

And yes my friend knows and she was very concerned. She knows how angry and vindictive my WW can be

okay....i'm just throwing this out there

couldshe be looking for you for a good reason? like she misses you or wants to see if your with someone else?

forever hopeful...that's me

This was unexpected to say the least.....I am with the others....I recommend listening to the voice mail messages...you can listen to part of it and then once you have the gist...you can delete...but if you already know she is vindictive...you should at least know what direction she will be coming...or if it is Columbus, you would want to know.....maybe listen to a few seconds of it and then decide the next steps....you want to be safe. When I went to Plan B....FWS found where I was staying and followed me when I left one morning....he scared me to death.

Watch your back, Cymanca.....and please be careful

SS

If you have been following my advice to other posters, I have been very vocal about sticking to Plan B, no contact with your WS either direct or indirect. After 18 months what could she possibly say to me of value that wasn't preceded by the NC letter. If there is anger, I expect no less and I am prepared. The voicemail has been erased, I won't lose any sleep about what was or wasn't there.

SS as always thanks for your concern

eav1967:

She always was extremely jealous. If that is the case it is probable that she doesn't want me but also doesn't want anyone else to want me either.

Hi, Cyman.

I agree with others here. She feels her grip loosening, and she can't have that.

You see, with users, it is just no fun at all if the other person isn't being strung along. That is also why she has monitored your activities since day one.

If you really want to see her get desperate, find the leak and plug it, then go darker that ever before.

She has shown up to reclaim some modicum of control. Make sure you take it back.

Edited to add: Expect the 'leak' to be one of your friends or confidants unless your activities are common knowledge.

God bless,
Gimble

Gimble,

I have never led a life of secrecy and my travels would be very easy to monitor. As I have stated before she is an admitted control freak and perhaps she has been monitoring me more than I realize.

BTW Gimble,I love your sig line. Profound truth.

Can anyone give me their thoughts as to why she would suddenly show up. After everything that she has done and lied about wny would she react in such a manner. The few times we did exchange words she emphasized that she hoped I would also find someone to love??????? I know, fog but WTF

In my opinion she is suffering from the classic symptoms of "I dont want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you either".

Typical of someone emotionally immature if you ask me<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


committed

commit,

Emotional immaturity??? Look up the definition in the dictionary and you will find my WW's picture!!

Thanks

Cymanca,

Have you spoken with your attorney, yet? Call him and find out what happened last week. He represents you and should be giving you a report out.

Regards,

BB

Brit,

I have a call in to the office. He is in court this am. Will post when I hear anything.

Cy,
Wow. Not sure if you remember me or not, but we've had a post or two in the long past.

One thing...when my fww and I were separated (I wasn't informed of the affair at that point), I mentioned seeing other people-just to incite her a bit, not really having any intentions of it. She became furious. Of course, the irony of it all, she was having an affair, and just the thought of me seeing anyone was too much for her to handle. She would be losing her real security, even if it was being trounced upon by her own knowing actions. As she told our counselor, she wanted to hold on to her fantasy of that 'happy family with both parents'.

I suspect that is a part of what you are looking at. Especially if it is an old girl friend, I'm sure she finds that terribly offensive. And yes, I'd say you have done nobly in your attempt to save your marriage. And man, talk about EXTREME RESTRAINT on not listening to that voicemail. In that, you have my utmost respect.

Hang in there.

Kev,

Of course I remember you. Thanks for the personal info. It appears that all WS's act that way. I just never thought twice about the voicemail, it is what I have been doing to any email, voicemail or answering machine message.

Thanks for the good wishes and coming back at you

CY,
One other thought.. your sig. It kinda speaks volumes to me. You know, and I know you know this... RIGHTEOUS ANGER is OK. You don't have to give her everything. You can in fact stand up for yourself and even speak things that are truth, as long as you do them in love. You don't have to give her everything, just give her love and sometimes, that is tough love. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

RookKev,

I agree completely and perhaps that was part of my problem from the beginning with my WW. I really need so little and she always needed a lot. I always felt it was just the station in life that I was in, having my education and career. I know that my satisfaction emanated a lot from my education and felt that it could only help my wife and our marriage by letting her achieve the same.

Maybe I was just too d*mn good to her?

So if she comes back and sincerely asks for forgiveness, would you forgive her and take her back?

Cy,
And when she finally gets that, it will be too late. Often times, I think that reality sets in after the BS has moved on and gotten deeply attached. I can cite instances of that (my own mother) ... and some others I have seen surface since coming here. I suspect that when the WS' OP finally sees the BS involved with another person, the OP starts to feel a sense of security also, and the fantasy starts to end, and that persons character starts to come out... and in my belief, when the OP is a male, it generally means his character doesn't amount to much, and abusiveness/controlling behavior is the first thing that comes to mind. That or the hurt puppy dog, that the wife got so much satisfaction out of helping out of their 'current' problem, only to realize that the OP LOVES living amongst problems, and just looks for new ones!

Anyways... milkshake. That's a tough question, but I believe Cy would honestly give her a chance to rectify her mistakes...I know it was for him, but, based on his posts over the 'span', I think he loves her so deeply that he could forgive her and give her a shot. Albeit, it would have to be under some extreme conditional situations/provisions, given the abuse he has been subjected to. (I don't know that the marriage could actually make it, but who knows with any of these....I think he has been abused too much, and his own self-respect would suffer a larger hit in bringing her back home (long term). That is a tough one, and we could only hope that it would really be a potential for him.

milkshake,

At a year and a half of sleeping on office couches, getting lied to each and every time that I did communicate with her and having her boyfriend(s) thrown at me, it would take a heck of a lot more than just a sincere apology(and the NC letter being sent).

Sleeping on office couches for the whole time?? Oh my... I am sorry... I was curious b/c I thought your mindset might be similar to my H's (I am not sleeping around and H is the one who moved out but he is very angry at me)..., but obviously you have VERY GOOD REASONS to feel the way you feel.