I do feel very angry and I just want to move on but don't feel like I can... not yet.
Hopeful4future, I have an idea that your issues are not necessarily about forgiveness, but about your personal recovery after your W’s betrayal and the healing/grieving process you’re currently going through. You still have to process feelings which are part of the grieving. Don’t try to rush it and give yourself time and patience. You’re still early in recovery.
There is a common misunderstanding amongst people on the concept of forgiveness… People often think if you still have hurtful and grieving feelings after a traumatic experience, that you have not
really forgive the person who have wronged you... But this is not true. Let me explain:
IMO, you forgive someone by releasing the person from your mind with respect to seeking vengeance and hatred, but the emotional wounds are still there and it WILL take time & patience for these wounds to heal and eventually recover. Emotional healing/recovery still need to follow
after forgiveness has been granted and forgiveness DOESN'T mean that a person don't still need to go through a healing/grieving process after a traumatic experience where he/she was wounded by another person…
Part of the grieving process includes emotions of anger, pain, hurt etc. and these feelings are all
normal. If you forgive your W for her betrayal that does not say that you will automatically be healed or should trust her yet. And as you go through the healing/grieving process, you may have to forgive her 100 times more.
A while ago I had a discussion about this exact same thing (forgiveness and the healing/grieving process) with a fellow Christian on this board. If you’re interested, you can read all about it
here. If you read the discussion, make sure you also read the link in my first post to give you full background on the contents of the discussion.
Blessings,
Suzet
