HLr EA was 2 years, PA (consummation)was 3 months.

Geeze met the OM in a chat room, emailed each other and then phone calls, a year later started meeting OM when he flew into town, staying at the local Best Western for sexual holidays. PA was another 2 years..3 years total (I HAD NO CLUE!!! she met him while I was at work)

Orchid wrote ""What has also been said is that the recovery can take 2 - 3 times longer than the A. I believe that one more.""

OH CRAP!!!

k

Which part of the A?

For my WS, EA Started sometime in 2004 late summer early fall, PA started December 8, 2004 and ended March of 2005, With D-Day June 25, 2005.

So PA was 4 times in three months but communications continued for another three month until I uncovered their secret.

So does that make the A, 3 months or 6 months?

HLR,

A is an A, PA or EA.

k

Ya, I kind of understand that.

I don't think my WS, knew it was EA until just before it became PA,I know that sounds strange but she told me, she new she loved him, when she thought she would no longer see him and it than became a PA. Its all in my story.

I was just asking was how long would recovery be based on this time line.

Squid is a fortunate woman. BP, you sound unselfish and wise and give us all something to aim for in our attitudes toward FWS's. I cannot imagine the level of giving you gave so early on.
I have so much bitterness for the years before the affair that I am afraid that issue is as much to deal with as affair. The A was just the knife that finally killed me all the way off.
I am a natural giving person, the giver in our relationship over the years. H is great in many ways but has been very critical and a self-centered person. I kept taking it and taking it, feeling that I had chosen him and had to lay in the bed I had made, but was just about
ready to confront or leave, then the next month I find about the A.
So, I have not been in a giving frame of mind, but you set a good challenge and give many things to think about. By the way, FWH is doing absolutely everything he can to be a different man and says he wants to be the man I have deserved along.
I don't know what the protocol for posts are....just got me thinking about so much from HLR's and BobPure's posts...I don't mean to make this about me....sorry if I am doing this wrong..
Bless all of you out there,

ItHurtzSoBad,

Your not...It is about you & me & all of us...I think of MB as all of my new friends “an extended family”

That’s why I wrote to you earlier in this post…many people here have been helping me and not one of them knows me personally, many are getting to know me through me writing and me them, but not one person is asking for anything other than help.

So keep writing.

<<<<<<<<HUG>>>>>>>>>

Something we all need when our lives come crashing down.

I have been looking at many of the pictures taken of my W & I over the last couple of years. I look at some of them and see the love in her eyes, but most of them are pre A, some are post and a few are during. It just confuses the he11 out of me. She’s smiling and looking into my eyes with passion and now what.

How do I get those feelings back!

I know what you mean. I ran across the Christmas Card we sent this last year depicting the happy family and it makes me want to puke or cry when I think what he was doing to all of us. I took all of the pics off the fridge that were pre-affair. Counselor said that was a smart thing to do...any visual reminders should be minimized.
One big problem for me is that OW's husband is (or was, as of a couple months ago) the CEO of a national business that I get to see almost everytime I go down a busy street. It sucks bigtime....I just try to keep my eyes straight ahead and not see the sign. Also, seeing the kind of car she drives gives me pain. Sometime I find it hard to believe that these triggers won't bother me forever....just trying to "give it time".....I am so sick of that phrase! Okay, I am ranting now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
We can do this, right??

ItHurtzSoBad,

I KNOW!

My WS has said I know how bad I hurt you! I said until it happened, I had know idea the pain would be this bad!