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Do you open yourself up for his love?
When you read this sentence ... what happends at a gut level? Honestly (and you know I like to be honest), a little bit of fear. Not enough fear to prevent me from sharing myself with him, but just some fear borne from the fact that he has hurt me. Not fear of opening up to him. Just fear of what the end result will be because I have opened up to him and continue to do so. It does put me in a bit of a vulnerable position.
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Dear Dear Froz ~ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> When I wrote that my thoughts were no longer welcome, it was several days ago, when you all but shut down on me. Your fear came roaring out of the closet and started throwing temper tantrums. You are doing much better now. I have to agree with what Pep is saying to you. And in someways, especially on the adoption issue, she is probably better suited. I do think you have a very severe fear of intimacy, which is why I was pointing out your pattern of attraction to emotionally unavailable men! Remember my detachment with love thread? Remember this?: Why??
The main reason most of us ask why is because we believe with a little more knowledge and a few more details, we can "control" the situation and or person. Asking "why" only wastes our energy - it rarely changes anything. Now, put that in context with your comment: I share so much of myself with others to allow them to get close to me. I ask questions of others so that I can understand and get close to them. Hun, controlling othes to keep them from hurting you is not intimacy. Emotionally unvailable men are safe, because they are willing to play the co-dependent control dance, instead of seeking for intimacy themselves.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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REALITY CHECK
.... hunny .... your husband is a MAN not a chick ....
It is UNnatural for them guys to "talk about feelings" .... they are hunters/warriors (especially the one YOU married) .... not to be confused with girlfriends ....
MEN are intimate in ways different than you and I are intimate .....
Mr Pep shows me he ADORES ME when he washes my car !!!! I am NOT KIDDING !!!! I am perfectly aware his isn't a chick. Wondering why you say that mine is a particular sort of warrior. (He's gonna love that!) I know he is intimate in different ways than I am. I don't expect him to do it in the manner that I do. I don't want him to run or hide from me, though. I like it when he shares his thoughts with me about anything, not just feelings. He's a very interesting person and I love to see the way his mind works. By the way, I pay to have my car washed every week. I guess that's not Patriot's method of adoration.
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When I wrote that my thoughts were no longer welcome, it was several days ago, when you all but shut down on me. I didn't really shut down completely. I just needed a moment or two to reflect. If you weren't welcome, believe me...I would let you know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Also, I ask questions to show others that I am interested in them, much the same way Mr. Pep washes her car to show his adoration. I'm telling you two...I am not afraid of intimacy! Maybe we should duke this out over on another thread. I don't want to horn in on BrambleRose's much deserved Fan Club thread.
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We are 'so done' being BR's fan club LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Do you open yourself up for his love?
"It does put me in a bit of a vulnerable position." We are all, every last one of us, vulnerable when we permit someone to love us. Not just you.
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lol ~ i dont need a fan club. FF is just a doll to say thank you.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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We are all, every last one of us, vulnerable when we permit someone to love us.
Not just you. Yeah, I know. I ordered the book...even got it for the bargain price of $5.50. That's one way I show Patriot I adore him...I save him so much darn money when I buy things all the time! (think he'll buy that one???)
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I am always grateful for BR giving moi a reality check ... "thank you sir. May I have another." BR is one of the finest [censored]-kickers I know <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Her footprint is all over my tush
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BR is one of the finest [censored]-kickers I know
Her footprint is all over my tush I think yours is all over mine! Hey!!!!!!!! How come you get to say "[censored]". Every time I say it I get censored!
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I think yours is all over mine! Yes ... I know. you're welcome too !!! ha ha ha
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That's one way I show Patriot I adore him...I save him so much darn money when I buy things all the time! (think he'll buy that one???) Nope. He won't. I've already tried it. Years ago my H. used to tell me that I was saving him way more than he had. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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Also, I ask questions to show others that I am interested in them, much the same way Mr. Pep washes her car to show his adoration. I used to feed my Al-Anon sponsor this line of horse poopie too.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Also, I ask questions to show others that I am interested in them, much the same way Mr. Pep washes her car to show his adoration. I used to feed my Al-Anon sponsor this line of horse poopie too. LOL .... I KNEW you would catch this one BR !
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I used to feed my Al-Anon sponsor this line of horse poopie too. Do you really think my rear end is big enough for the both of you????? Geez, I hope not! It's true, BrambleRose, I'm telling you. I think a lot of the reason I communicate by asking so many questions has to do with my career. I'm a hairdresser, and I am definitely not trying to control them by asking them questions. I'm trying to show them that I'm interested in them.
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I'm not talking about casual aquaintences hun.
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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oh and I doubt Mr. Pep washes the car for everyone he meets either...
~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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My career is a nurse practitioner. If I used my RNP communication skills at home WITH MY HUSBAND ... how would this communicate my intimacy toward him?
My husband is not another patient.
Your husband is not getting a haircut from you.
Last edited by Pepperband; 08/28/05 10:35 AM.
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Froz,
You seem to be doing well these days! I have a sense that you are more grounded and at peace...
BTW, you're 1 year younger than my little sister! I'm 11 years older than she is (45)....I think that's why you remind me of her!
I'm excited that you have your appointment with Steve on Tuesday. Did I remind you to have pencil and paper handy? You'll want to take good notes!!
"The actions you speak are louder than your words!"
Author unknown
"Miracles are seen in light."
From "A Course In Miracles".
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oh and I doubt Mr. Pep washes the car for everyone he meets either... I am the sole recepient of this love gesture .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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