ncn....

I forgot about your question....happens!

H has been dealing with depression since before we met. He went on medication couple months before we met. As I was falling in love it was not an issue....I really think he tried harder at that time and more over that thrill of meeting someone and falling in love does blind you some....

Anyway, the depression was an issue early on.....
now a days I really think he just wanted a girlfriend not a wife......he wanted me around but he did not want to build a life with me and be tight down to someone.....he saw me as a rock stoping him from enjoying life.....I always wanted the best for him....I wanted him to be happy.....I just wanted to be by his side.....




I was at the vet today and I was completely spaced out.....she was asking me some questions and it did not even register....I did not realize she was waiting for my response.....I just thought she stopped talking....but then she looked at me and gave me this look....and I realized she must be asking me something....I had no idea what..What a day......

Daisy

Hi WD,

I posted to you on my thread, and now I'm going to say it here, too.

The more I think about it - and after what ncn said to you about what the Harleys told him - the more I think that you should call them. They will know what is best for you to do in your situation. We can all give you advice, but we are not the real experts. They will come up with a custom plan just for you. They will even go as far as to tell you exactly what to say to your H. I spoke with Jennifer before. She would tell me, "You need to tell him this... write this down!"

Maybe before you send him that plan B letter, you can call them - to be more sure of what you are doing.

And remember this - if you talk to the Harleys, and you follow the plans - you might save your M. But you might not. You will be a success either way. You will know that you did everything that you could have done. You will have more peace in your heart. You will also have gained a tremendous amount of valuable information on relationships that you can use in the future.

I wish you the best,
svb

svb1....

After reading what ncn said about the advice the Harleys gave him about Plan B....I am going to call them next week.....too bad it is TG..I'll have to wait for a couple days to call and then wait some more to get an appointment....

I will not send a letter for now....but I will not call H over there either....I'll wait to speak with the Harleys first.....

Thank you for your thoughts...it is helpful to have others look at my sitch from their perspectives....I am in so deep its hard to see anything but the mess sometimes.....

Daisy

I am in so deep its hard to see anything but the mess sometimes.....

Yeah, I know. It's difficult to see things clearly while you're in it. It's so easy to get confused.

But I think you're heading in the right direction.

It feels good to get out of "limbo" and take some action, doesn't it? I'm glad you're going to call the Harleys. I'm curious to see what they would recommend for you to do.

They'll tell you if you should send your H a Christmas card. If they tell you to send one, they might tell you what to write in it as well!

thank you svb1....

I will work on my list of questions to the Harleys........
I guess it will take some time to get through telling them just my story.....Should I focus more on what has happened since D-day and less on what let up to it?

Don't know what information they will need. I assume they’ll want to know the whole story…I’ll probably end up making another appointment to really get something out of it….

Daisy

Daisy,

I was just curious: what you consider to be D-day in your case?

Regardless, the Harleys are talented at leading you through the information that they want to know. It wouldn't hurt to draw up an outline of your entire story and maybe a rough timeline of events so you don't forget to mention something worth mentioning.

ncn...
You caught me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I have not used this term till now and here you are after me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />....D-day: Discovery day (right?)...well on May 8th I discovered that my H would ruther leave the M than stay with me....So, no it is not D-day as in the traditional sense, but I tell you it was the most painful day of my R with him....The pain people here experience on D-day is what I experienced...no my H did not cheat on me, but to just leave me in the dust and break my heart like that was just as painful I think....long answer <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />....


Thank you for the suggestion. I will write out an outline....that is a good idea.

Daisy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />