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Re: * LOY *
Loy #1467402 10/31/05 05:51 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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mimi_here Offline
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mimi_here
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Quote
My H once said that he couldn't live with himself if he acknowledged all the awful things that he did. In my situation, I'm thinking that some of the AWFUL stuff involved some very weird sex stuff. I imagine the OW allowed almost anything..


There were some issues with sex but not to the extent that we were not able to be together...

Our SF is fairly normal, I think...I don't think theirs was..

He would APOLOGIZE if it seemed that it was "more sex" between us than "making love"....I won't quote verbatim but you know what I mean...

There must have been some trigger in this for him that I did not fully understand but we were able to be together...

He APOLOGIZED a lot about a lot of things...including this...I didn't fully understand his reasons for apologizing...

What has your H been SAYING lately about this?

I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Re: * LOY *
mimi_here #1467403 11/01/05 10:15 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 646
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Loy Offline
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Loy
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Posts: 646
My husband is burying his head in the sand.

1. he is so busy we come no where near the 15 hours a week. To me it is closer to 10 hours a week that I see him and 5 hours a week where we are alone.

2. He does not want to talk about it. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

3. He is stressed about his non-profit's finances and our finances. During the A he paid no attention to them and now he has to focus on it and get things in order.

4. I have started addressing it more in the last week. He says he feels uncomfortable, stressed, and wants to run away.

I personally feel very frusterated. I feel that I have tried to confront the situation head on and that failed. I have tried to be patient and that has failed.

It is really hard for me to kiss him and run without talking about it. When I get scared I talk more.

Loy
Re: * LOY *
Loy #1467404 11/01/05 02:30 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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mimi_here Offline
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mimi_here
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Loy:

I can understand your frustration about this..

Quote
He says he feels uncomfortable, stressed, and wants to run away.


I would ask him if that means that he doesn't want to WORK ON THE MARRIAGE because it sounds like he is not working on RECOVERY...

Quote
He does not want to talk about it. Avoid, avoid, avoid


I'm not necessary referring to "talking"..How about some action? Spending fun time with you with some....conversation...affection...SF....

Quote
When I get scared I talk more


What are you scared about? Talk about just that with him..I remember telling my FWH how SCARED I was...your fear is NORMAL AND EXPECTED, I think....

His ACTIONS are certainly making your fear worse...

YUK!!

I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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