I would call OWH - before she tells him a story. I also would ck his phone records. He may call OW on her cell phone after work.

Latest news flash:
O/W stayed home throwing up, she is so upset about yesterday. Do I have any sympathy? Naahhhh! I called administrator and told her that someone there had already told my husband about what went on last night at the facility with o/w. She said rumor mill and gets totally distorted by the time it gets back to original person. Administrator feels so sorry for o/w. (gag, gag) Poor wittle o/w is so mistreated and gee whiz it must have been all my husbands fault. (sarcasam) I am sorry, the sarcasm is just oozing out of me now.

>O/W stayed home throwing up,

Oh, I could just puke, myself. She helped open this can of worms...NOW she can't stand that worms crawl in doo-doo? Pluh-ease! She is no more a victim in this than he is. Period.

- Kimmy

KDS.

Really, really, you need to find some strength for the near future. I think you are just cracking the surface right now.

hmmm, I guess kds is a TEXAN after all! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> Keep on being a Texan, kds, you have her on the run. I agree with the others that contact has probably never ended. Your H is going to be furious about this exposure, get your money's worth, and expose to the OWH.

kds, does the administrator know that this is an affair or is she under the impression that your H has been pursuing the OW? I suspect this is what OW has told her boss in an effort to pre-empt you. Did you get that impression?

Rookev, a man who I universally never agree with is right here (lol) . I think that KDS better brace herself for WAY more than she thinks happened here. I would bet a paycheck that a PA has happened, and that KDS husbands actions are bordering on "stalking". No doubt, the OW is a cretin, and a exposure to ehr H should be made tonight also. The big RAT here is KDS husband. Ughhhhh !!!

Oh yeah, Administrator definately believes that its all on my husbands part. I opened her eyes though when I showed all the phone calls that were placed on his cell phone, and I told her this doesn't even show how many calls o/w made to him or his other work cell phone or land phone. The icing on the cake though was the phone call that o/w made to home phone at 11:30 at night the evening that I went out of town for a week. They know that it was a two way street, I think they think deny, deny deny will keep them from being involved in a legal battle. I really don't care if the rat keeps her job, I just wanted it to be on record so incase my husband gets the idea he can visit her at work, everyone will have already known that they were involved in an affair. Whats really sad is the fact if she hadn't been ugly and defensive when I asked what her hours and days off were, I would have never gone to the administrator.
Husband is not home yet either. Wonder what that will bring? I went this evening and helped my mil with dinner and helped dress her for bed, I don't believe my husband will be going there tonight. But I might be wrong. I haven't heard from him tonight, and I haven't called his either. I guess he will come home when he is ready.
Please say prayers for me that Jesus will put the right words in my mouth and give me the strength to be calm and be my husbands light in the storm. My second mother (former step-mother) thinks that I should just divorce him. I think family have lost hope in our marriage. For now, I haven't.

It doesn't truly matter what they think or if they have any "hope" for the marriage. In the end, it is what YOU WANT and what YOU HOPE that matters. ONLY YOU are going to have to live with the repercussions or benefits of YOUR ACTIONS, so you should DO WHAT YOU WANT, without letting them influence you.

Goodluck.

Lem

KDS:

Please brace yourself for the severe verbal amd emotional assualt you will get soon from your WAYWARD. You did a GREAT job in exposing this affair, and now he is truly cowardice in facing the "music" at the nursing home, so he is going to 100% displace this cowardice towards you in not going to see his mother.

No doubt you know this, but I just want to make sure you are ready.

Lem

Yes, I know the storm is coming my way. I will be calm, I will not be baited, I will say over and over, I'm here to save my marriage. I wish I didn't feel such compassion for my husband. I can't help it. I will keep my resolve to stay positive and firm. I want him to respect me. The past few nights have been so nice and peaceful. I will remember those few nights while I'm weathering this storm.
Its funny, I am not feeling the need to call him, even though I don't know where he is or what he is doing. I would like to stay married to him but I know I can live without him and still be ok. Just crazy thoughts running through my head.

kds, you will be fine. We will help you through this. What you did was the beginning of the ruination of this affair. Exposure ruins the fantasy aspect of an affair and makes it very hard to resume.

As BobPure would say, you turned from a serf to a KNIGHT today. I am proud to know ya, kds. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Speaking of BobPure, where is he. I was hoping to get his take on things today. Also, I haven't heard from Ark, is she disappointed that I exposed o/w to administrator????

kds, Ark isn't on here much at night, but I suspect she will be quite proud of you, too. Bob was around today but perhaps hasn't seen your thread.

Husband just came home thirty minutes ago. He and I have not said too many things to each other. He did tell me that I had better **** a job, because his mother's money is just about gone. He then cussed at me. I stayed calm and said he didn't have to talk to me that way, it was very disrespectful. I also found the mole that told my husband about o/w encounter. I told him I knew it was cary, because she couldn't look me in the eye. I told him he got bad news handed down the grapevine and if he wanted to know the real story he needed to talk to receptionist. He refused the food I cooked for him, and I said fine, I will just throw it out; I don't care. So the stand off has begun. I really want my old husband back, but improved. I am tired of the w/s.

Well, that is typical. Relax, and try to get some sleep. You now KNOW that this was an affair. Otherwise he wouldn't be so angry.

Just know that we are supporting you. The next few days won't be fun, but in the long run, your marriage will be the better for it.

Hi, kds.

You did good. Funny how all the roaches scatter when the lights go on.

Gimble

So the mole was: __________?

Know that OW has to put a spin on it. Confession is not something an OW can do.

The fact that your WS is angry shows he is still playing games. He wants you to pay and you must save your energy for the right things.

Expect that roller coaster to ride. Remember your MIL is moving NOT to save your M but because she needs to. For her sake. If he wants to get mad for that, then he will have himself to deal with.

No more saving your M talk. Work on getting her moved, then after all that settles see if you feel like saving your M or you m/b fed up enough to kick him to the curb.

Ow isn't about to stop her games. She's got a good thing going. It feeds the OW's ego to know she can rile you up.

Don't show yourself riled up. Expect her admin to take her side somewhat at the very least. They know her better than you and they have a vested interest in her more than you.

When you get to the other facility, you can let it slip that there are personnel in the other facility who prey on patients. Hm..... no details....just info.

JMHO,
L.

hi KDS ~

I'm sorry to hear that I was right about the affair still ongoing.

Good job on exposure. Do not let the OWH exposure slide.

Also, keep in mind, that the affair isn't over yet. You've dealt it a nasty wound that will eventually kill it, but exposure doesn't usually kill fast.

I've been really busy and haven't had a chance to keep up with your threads...did you decide to take care of his Mom? Or are you moving her to another facility?

I need to clarify something. The mole was not the o/w. As far as I know for sure, my husband has not made contact with o/w. O/W told administrator that my husband has tried to make contact with her but she screens her calls. My husband says he has not made attempt to call her. He was very adament about not calling her the night before last, like the o/w told administrator. I believe my husband on that count. What I also believe is that when his mother was admitted to the hospital around the 24th of Aug. he had an emergency with the company he works with, he was having to go to the lobby because in the e.r there is no reception. I believe his mother being in the hospital and them checking her for stroke, he was having a crisis, and needed his reassurance from o/w. It was funny, I was sitting in the e.r. with mil while husband went to other part of hospital where there is reception to wait for a phone call from employee. While he was gone, out of the blue, my heart jumped, and I just knew that in his crisis, he was attempting to call o/w for comfort. It had only been 4 or 5 days since discovery at that time.
So, yes, I believe he has tried to make contact on that day, there is nothing I can do to prove that, but now husband knows that I have a way to check if he is still trying to contact her. O/W is too scared I am going to call her husband, and the possiblity that she might lose her job, and the fact of embarressment from the fact that all the employees now know that she has been accused of having an affair with my husband. She can put all the spin she wants on this story, but imho, people like to believe the worst. The administrator knew that o/w was not innocent. But their defense is deny, deny, deny. I do not believe that there has been any PA. The reason I say this is that I am a great judge of my husband. I read him like a book, and I have a big connection with the way he thinks. Last month, before official discovery, but when I had recieved the phone records, my husband and I were in bed. I told him at the time, I can work with you if you had a emotional affair, but if the affair was physical I don't want you or our marriage. In the dark, he put his arms around me and made an unconsious sigh of relief, like he was relieved. So, like I said, I am a great judge of my husband. I have been right on every time I have questioned him. I will bet my life on the fact that he has not had a physical relationship with o/w.
The mole was another employee that is friends with o/w and my husband.
I know this because she drives the shuttle, and I saw her at the dr. office when I met her there for my mi. dr. appt. She was extremely friendly then. Later that day, after my phone conversation with husband revealing that someone told him I had gotten kicked out of facility, I came in contact with driver of shuttle. She couldn't look me in the eye. Earlier that day, she was friendly as can be.
I told hubby that I knew the mole, he asked who, I told him Cary (shuttle driver), and there was silence. I then told him if he wanted the true story, he needed to ask the receptionist. Funny thing about the grapevine, the true story, takes on a new life as it gets spread from one person to the next.

Dear Bramble Rose,
I have called the movers, and my mil moves this Friday to the new facility. My husband does not want to bring his mother into our house at this time. But if she ever gets to the point where they will have to put her into an actual nursing home, my bet is that he will take me up on that. The reason I say that is because he would not be able to bear seeing his mother in a nursing home. So for now, I need to go find a p.t job to help extend what little money she has. She will be out of liquid money end of the month, and then we will have to start dipping into our savings to assist her in staying at the new facility. Her monthly income only covers less than half of what her expenses will be. My husband then needs to liquidfy the other small amount of stocks she owns to help pay for place. Husband tried to put the spin on the fact that she was running out of money because the new facility was more expensive than the last, but I told him, regardless, he was going to run out of money, wherever she was. Geez, trying to move the blame onto me, again. I asked him what he thought about having his mother stay at the facility while we were moving her stuff, and then take her over in the van shuttle. He said that he didn't want the facility to take her over to new place, but to call independent van shuttle to take her to the new place. (he doesn't want the old facility to take her to the new facility) The way my husband's mind works.
He told me to do whatever I wanted. (What he implied was, he thinks I am contoling him again and while using condensing tone with his speech delivery.)
He then said he had a lot of important things to do other than this.
I have kept on the quiet side, no tears, no apologies, just calm and confident.
I just wonder who is going to make the first move to going back where we were a couple of days ago. We were getting along so well this past week, and I felt happiness for the first time since this whole mess has started.