Just what the heck does this mean anyway?

Is there a choice involved?

Don't all of us have to "move on" or die ???

This phrase always baffles me ... it sounds like someone is saying something ~they~ think is meaningful ... but is it?

"Should I move on with my life?"

HUH? Is there an alternative you can think of? Move backwards?

"YOU need to move on and find someone else." ... usually mouthed by a lie-spitting adulterous hissing alien snake ... Does this imply that unless there is "someone else" that "moving on" won't happen.

This seems absurd to me.

If you think this "move on with your life" actually means anything .... would you kindly explain it to me ??

I'd appreciate it ... in fact ... I don't think I can move on without that knowledge. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

eeeeeeeeeekkk

I just used this expression this week.

We are "moving on" with our life to make new memories somewhere else.

I guess we did have a choice.

I also guess this is not what you are referring to. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Susan

The words moving on reminds me of my favorite song, by Rascal Flatts, "I'm moving on" I love the words to the song. It brings to mind, a person that has done things they were ashamed of, learned from their mistakes and had to leave the life they have always known so that they don't fall back into bad habits.

"""Luckily we will soon be divorced and I will be able to move on."""

Pep - Glad you asked. I have been kind of stuck in a rut for the last 3 years, waiting for WH to choose me.

By moving on, I have in mind, moving on with someone else. Hopefully it will involve lots of kissing and hugging, and being held in his muscular arms, looking into his honey-brown eyes, having fun, dancing, going out together, watching movies at home in the evenings, walking on the beach, looking at the moon, laughing, talking, sharing, dreaming. Let's see, have I missed anything?

Or I might have said move on to someone who can return my affection, who cares about me, who wants to be around me, who has fun with me, who thinks I'm wonderful, and loves to spend time with me doing anything at all. Sheesh, I really am in the fog.

Pep,

I always think of "move on" as a colloquial form of sorts for "move along" or "pass by" or "go by". At its nastiest it's a socially acceptable way of saying "Get over it."

You see a car accident by the side of the road, you slow, maybe even stop. Eventually you move along.

OR

He desperately wanted those green shoes with six inch spikes and red bows but couldn't afford them so he passed them by.

OR

My favorite kiss-off: The next time you go by my house -- I'd appreciate it.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Sally

believer, I think I have a crush on your fantasy too!

If I'm still mooning over Phil in three years and we're not happily wedded (to each other!) you and pep should please come kick my butt until I "move on". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Pep you've got two foggy chicks here!
Sally

"Move on" means "Give yourself the Super Vulcan Mind Meld so you can completely forget about how horribly I've treated you, and pretend none of it ever happened, and go on treating me like I'm the most wonderful person in the world, and let me skate through this guilt-free and consequence-free, and most of all NEVER ask me ANY questions about my actions past, present or future."

Does that about cover it?
Mulan

I don't get it. One of the last things my WS said before she left the last time was that I should move on. And she paired that expression up with "I want you to be happy too". REALLY?!?!?!

So many people have told me it's time to move on. On to what? It's not like I stopped living.

You're so right Pep, it's not like we have another choice. That's another foggy thing my WS said, that everybody had choices in this, and that I didn't have to stick around and try to save our relationship. Whoah! What a crazy world huh? I guess OM's wife and child had the same choices huh? Kinda like asking a guy on deathrow what he wants for his last meal, steak or lobster? But oh, we're all out of lobster...LOL.

When I "tried" to move on by going out on a date and going to the bar (I loath bars, but I wanted to be like him and "move on"), I ended up in jail. By far the worst weekend I have had lately. Well not really.

I spent a long time trying to figure out how I could move on.

I finally figured out all I could do was put one foot in front of the other, "act as if" I was happy, and pray, pray, pray that life would get better...

and then maybe, just maybe I would be "moved on".

Yes Pep, we go on living or we die. Our only choice if we choose to go on living is how are we going to do it, in misery or not.

"moving on" you are right, is sucky terminology at best.

When my exSO (whatever the ****** he was) left that awful message on my machine, he said "I am moving on, and you can do the same".

Yeah, whatever that means.

"move on"

Well, I think there is a different meaning in telling someone they should "move on," and someone saying that they are or want to "move on." Telling someone to move on, or that they should move on, almost sounds like a verbal "shove" to me. Because until someone realizes themselves that they could be *stuck* telling them to move on seems insulting.

However, if I myself said I was moving on, it could mean that I realized I was *stuck* somewhere, and was ready to let that particular issue go, so that I could expand my life away from the one all-consuming issue I might have been stuck on. Like, say, rehashing the A details over and over and over again. I eventually got to a point, where I recognized that I needed to "move on" from that point. I had gotten all the details and information that I was going to get. I had to let go, so I could move on to the next stage of my healing.

But I do believe we all can get stuck on our respective paths while we are traveling down them. I know I have. And I have consciously decided to "move on" several times.

Spidey

No you are not in fog Believer, at least not anymore! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

And if you believe in the Bible, this is Gods promise to us, that we will have this in a man.

Isn't that why he created man and woman?

Hey Believer, the first step in attracting love is wanting it. You are ions ahead of me, as I don't even want it anymore.

It won't be long now for you Believer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Ugh Weaver.....this brought tears to my eyes.

And if you believe in the Bible, this is Gods promise to us, that we will have this in a man.

Tears are becoming a foriegn concept to me as of late.

I don't know, I've heard that I should *move on* more times than I care to count............I guess for me, it's choosing to not sit around in limbo......which I have been for a long time, to actually take control of my life.

-Caren

weaver - You will get there too. The farthest thing from my mind was another man. But time took care of that. Now they are looking GOOD again.

Maybe "moving on" doesn't have to be viewed as a negative term.

Maybe telling someone to "move on" could mean reminding them that they don't have a choice and that by not moving on they are trying to control something that they cannot control. Maybe moving on means letting go and letting God.

When I had considered my option to 'move on' I meant it as moving on with my life to a future that didn't include my H in it as it had before. It was that I could survive and actually thrive with a new beginning. My children are grown...they have 'moved on' in life. They may even have benefited from a bit less contact with me for a while. The drama of FWH's A had gotten very old. I was getting tired of fighting for the M. It took me a long time to get to that point.

I was thinking about the choices, the options that laid ahead...whether to take my sister up on joining her and her H in their design business...or should I have moved to Italy for a while to seek new adventures for a while (a tour guide?)(although my daughter had considered joining me in CA with my sister..at the time; she has now moved to the country of Panama!). If after a DV another man should enter my life then I would be available. The 'moving on' did not mean...replace H with another man right away. I wasn't desparate. But, I know that I wouldn't want to remain single indefinitely..that wasn't the main impetus of 'moving on'.

The idea of 'moving on' was a willingness to not pine away for and 'need' to be with my H if he was not willing to give up OW.

When he realized that I wasn't going to be just waiting for him forever...I believe it helped him out of the fog.

I tend to be one who is regularly guilty of using cliches...if 'moving on' is one then I am guilty of using it ...again today. There is a moment before I use it that I think it is can be misunderstood or overused here...but too bad. I am not one of the great writers here.

Hey, isn't there some kind of political action group called Moveon.com or Moveon. something? I think it was an anti-GWBush thing during the elections. They probably have a definition on their website, where ever it is. Maybe I'll bring up the ol' Google tonight...
Good question though, Pep.]
I'd suggest that we change "Move on" to just plain "MOVE!" I.e., don't stay in that rut, just MOOOOOOOOVE!

I guess "move on" is mostly a sort of verbal shorthand .... and the meaning or lack thereof depends on the speaker's intent.

I just simply HATE IT when the alien says this like they know what the heck they are talking about ... what sparked me about this was Believer's STBXH's most recent note to her .... such gobbly-de-[censored]-gibberish

"Why didn't you divorce me and move on with your life?"

what utter NERVE of the man .... le'mme at him .... just 5 minutes is all I need ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

"move on"

When spoken by an affair-alien means ---> go to the NEXT person and screw up their life now

It apparently does NOT mean (in alien-speak) --->learn how to be a better person ~myself~ and make better choices without a new shiney "other person" to play with

what'cha think?

the aliens are really pissing me off today .... because THEY are the ones NOT "moving on"in the sense of rising to a higher level of consciousness and grace-filled choices

Alien "moving on" ---> just leap-frog into a new relationship in order to obtain a fresh reflected sense of self and try to forget that I have left behind all my integrity and have completely lost my moral compass ....

"Why don't you just move on?" =

"I am in denial about any and all pain that I caused you and that (god forbid) I might have to understand and empathise with in order to learn. I definitely don't want you reminding me of it."

"I am moving on" (spoken defiantly)=

"I am in denial about the pain I am in. I am going out to find something/someone to numb it. Please don't remind me of it."

Well no need to let them piss you off. They are not winning you know, they just don't know it.........yet.

The aliens might win the battle, but they will not win the war.

Let them "move on" all they want, but there ain't no where far enough that they can "move on" to away from themselves.

And yes, we all know what they mean by "moving on".

Alliens, gotta love em...poor souls.

Now where is my wine?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />