FL,

Now you are "talking" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I mean that literally. I like what you said to me, and I like even more your discussion with your H. As you open up to him, you begin to take control of your life AND allow him a chance to be the H he wants. It is clear he is focused on you as he seems to be taking clues from as to how you want to be handled. Stop making him look for clues and express to him what you need from him and when. And also make it clear you want to hear what he needs from you.

You are right that you are blocking your own happiness, probably because you don't feel you deserve it at some level. But, what you don't seem to understand is that the happiness of your children, your H, and your friends DEPENDS on you being happy as well. So do them ALL a huge favor and start being happy, smiling, accepting the blessings in your life, and especially your H.

Got those marching orders girl? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

JL

ughhhh, JL, but so often i don't feel happy. i have so many blessings in my life, i know this!!! i could give you a mile long list. and i do list them out for myself all the time.

but i'm still so uptight all the time. and i get so frustrated with myself for being that way.

do i, on some level, feel like i should not be happy.

ok, this is nuts. time for me to get back into IC and face myself some more. cuz i'm just not doing it on my own.

like you said, this is not just about me. my H's and childrens' happiness depends on me getting my [censored] together!!!

i'm am going to search out that stupid phone number right now in order to get more IC sessions authorized.

ok, mission accomplished, more sessions are authorized and i left a msg for my IC. she is not always quick to respond but i'm sure i will hear from her.

Good for you FL,

You KNOW you deserve to be happy as well. Sometimes it is a case of diminished expectations, sometimes it is looking in different directions, and sometimes is a perspective thing.

Probably a bit of all but hang in there FL, and keep talking to your H. It seems to me you need him more than you realize or he does, not so much for support but encouragement.

Must go.

God Bless,

JL