I agree with you CONFUSED...

She needs to TURN HIM AWAY from yesterday forward...

ONLY YESTERDAY.. BEFORE THE ROAD TRIP..WAS A SPECIAL PART OF HURTING'S PLAN...IMHO...

You have to understand I was the one who inititated that night not him.

He had already tried and I turned him down and made him leave the house. It was only after he called and wanted me to have dinner with him that I decided to see if I could get him to stay the night. I really didn't expect him to agree. I knew he would agree to coming over here and having SF but not stay the whole night.

I already had decided if he was not willing to stay the night he was not getting anything from me. I gave him an out by telling him it would not bother me one way or the other.

I just really felt in my gut that it was the thing to do. I wanted ME to be the last person he saw before he left on the road. I wanted ME to be the one to kiss him goodbye. I wanted him to have ME be the one on his mind when he left after a wonderful night.

So see it was all me not him. This was my own plan, granted maybe not the best plan in the world but I did it my way.

DD gave him a gift when he left, it was a box with momentos of our life and home. It had pictures of the kids growing up and happy times we had as a family. Was just some little things she put together for him to look at. It also had a few things of mine in there she wanted him to have.

He did not open it until he left, she made him promise not to. So wit all of the things that happen that night and the box who knows how this will go. But I did what I felt I needed to do.

I wanted him to have a good taste of what he is missing and will continue to miss if he does not stop this affair nd agree to N/C.

My reslove now is to stay in the dark and leave him with those thoughts and memories. It was a big risk I took it , nothing I can do to change it now. I do not regret it maybe in time I will, who knows....

bump**

Hurting;

I don't think you need to feel the need to further explain what you did.

You had the gut feeling that it was the right thing to do at the time.

You know your WH and your situation and it seemed to you to be right.

How can we know what is best?

IMHO, it was a GREAT PLAN and you knew exactly what you were doing.

"We do what we have to do..people aren't perfect...life isn't perfect...

I personally am most often led by THE SPIRIT...THE SPIRIT has never let me down.. THE SPIRIT does not necessarily follow MB Principles...

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Thank you Mimi

Your right I do know my WH better than anyone does. Yes he is following a script and yes he has done a lot of the things a WS does.

But I still know deep down inside he is the man I married. I know he is confused and hurting I can see it on his face. But I also see other things in his eyes when I look at him. I watch his eyes , I see when the part of him that loves me shows up, it so very obvious. I also see in his eyes when he is the WH.... the blank look with no life in them..... He is hurting of that I have no doubt, he is unhappy I know that to. It's so very noticable to everyone but him right now.

I truly think him being gone from here is going to help him. Being alone will give him time to reflect on life and see things can be better. Yes it could all go the other way but for now I have to hold on to the hope it won't.