The changes i need to make is to stop being so desperate.
I cant believe its been 3 months of wining, crying, begging, pleading for him to come back.
I do wish the tables were turned so he would be chasing me after I had cheated on him and he could see how this feels(i havent cheated)
I just see the devil in vanessa and him. He has a stong back but a weak mind.
Like everone here has said before- this is not the man i fell in love with 24 years ago.

I can't recommend the Love Tactics...

What were the problems in your marriage before the A?

Winter you will feel better about yourself, when the whinning, crying, pleading and begging stops. These are not in plan A or B, it's easy for me to say, but you will come to a time, and look back and say I can't believe I acted like that. And you are right he is not the man you've been married to for 24yrs.

I had listed them before mimi- thats when you said plan b and now you say A.
I will be back i have 3 interviews today. Everybody please Pray for me and my family that things work out. More prayers help.

PLAN A until you do PLAN B.

I did not see you communicate that you had given him a PLAN B letter.

Weren't you trying to come to that decision?

yes - after the post where it said to ask for help with it.
I said he does better verbally than written.
i am very confused, sad, jumping thru every hoop, lonely, trying to appear more positve etc.
I dont know if its working or not.
The boys took him out for his birthday to lunch- he brought them back and said that they really love their mom- and that i am a good mom. Then he said they asked him if he is coming for thanksgiving he said yes of course- they said christmas- he told them yes- and then he said i may be back home before christmas (he said that when he was saying the story to me.
(do I believe this or not?) I just listened and kept upbeat conversation- then I had to leave tto go to a dinner. He said he was going to stay with the boys for a while i said ok.
My daughter called him yesterday about the computer they talked and he was going to call her today to talk.
He tells his friend and mom he dosent want to talk about the situation and appears to be upbeat, but when we talk he wants to talk- if i say how are things going? He will say not well- he talks about job, etc. I just listen.
Is this all sounding like fence sitting or just bs or sincere?

bump up please

Winter:

Plan A until you write the letter and give it to him...

I think it's time for PLAN B..

NO CONTACT with him until he is rid of her....

You can not take anything as sincere at this point, but it is still a good sign. The more cake he eats from you during the time leading up to Plan B, the bigger a shock it will be for him when it happens, and the more likely it is that he will decide to end up on your side of the fence. (Cake-eating is bad if the cake is being handed out by a BS who is unwilling to end the confection delivery service in a timely manner.)