I e-mailed OWH last night regarding the text message & voice mail number. I don't have the energy to tell WH what I did......I woke up feeling awful. I have been crying too much.

so, I guess WH will find out soon enough about my message to OWH.

I have got to get myself together. Off to work....

Drawing closer to time for some relief for me.

Kim

Lost -

Thanks for your post. I like how you worded that & I will use those words when the time comes.

Kim

Kim, you don't even have to tell your H you emailed the OWH, he will find out soon enough. Just stand your ground and tell him that "yes, I did tell him about your contact with his W, he has a right to know. I will continue to alert him to the situation when need be." Don't cower and don't apologize, remember you are not the guilty one here, he is.

Just got call from WH. He found out pretty quickly about the e-mail. He said that this has pushed a wedge deeper between us. He said that OW & OWH marriage is over & is it only how it is finished. He said that if I thought that I was trying to help keep their M together that I should just give up.

He said you know what this means, after I told you not to contact OWH.(He said he would leave me). I said "If YOU DECIDE to leave, that's too bad. Because there is a solution to this problem."

I said that I have stated my boundaries over and over again. He said that I am making our M in worse shape than ever. I said NO, You are by the actions and choices you have made. By continuing to be in contact with OW.

He said, "well, I have made that choice and that is what I choose."

I started to get emotional & since I'm at work told him I needed to go.....

This is it. I think he is leaving me.

I feel like I have just screwed up.

Kim

Kim, did you forget that you were going to ask him to leave anyway? He wants you to beg him to stay. He is threatening to leave because he is angry that you interfered in his affair and he wants to MANIPULATE you into stopping. Please do not allow yourself to be manipulated again.

Tell him that the OWH has a right to know what is going on in his own marriage and you had a moral obligation to tell him. Assure him you fully intend to stay in touch with the OWH. Tell him you are sorry he feels he has to move, but you know you cannot stop him.

Kim, help him pack his bags. Then in a few days you can give him the Plan B letter.

Calm down, did you expect a gold medal for exposing him?

Kim, when you calm down, please move forward and continue the exposure. Call the boss and inform him that contact has continued. Don't let him scare you off of your path. Don't let him manipulate you, Kim.

HE screwed up .... be strong.

he's an adulteror telling his faithful wife "you screwed up"

does this even make sense???

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kim - You did not screw up. You stated your boundries, and that you were trying to work/save your M. I can tell you from my experience I do think he will leave and he should, as you do not need to put up with this selfish behavior. My WW manipulated me in taking her back after 4 weeks then left again after 3 days. WS are so screwed up in the head, they can't think straight because of the fog.Go plan B and save Kimberly's self respect.

Kim, this is all playing out according to plan. Don't let his anger divert you off your path. Your best hope of saving your marriage is to: cause conflict in the affair and move to Plan B as we discussed. There is NO HOPE in appeasement. It is not your job to appease him and assuage his anger, but to end the affair to save your marriage.

I was using a phrase that SH gave me if WH threatened to leave me again. I guess I am past that point, Huh?

I did nothing wrong. I have to keep repeating that to myself.

He started up with the "I love you as a mother to my child" crap again & "I will remember what we had."

I left message with the workplace to call me....

Kim

Be strong, Kim, and move forward. You are doing the right thing.

I want to believe you - it's hard right now. I don't know if he will ever come out of the fog.

If he is still home tonight, should I go ahead & ask him to move out??

I need ALL the support I can get right now!!

I might not be able to post much more, am at work ---will keep checking in.

Kim

they all come out of the fog eventually

some come out wiser and some don't

the fog is time limited ... like feelings, fog cannot be indefinately sustained without a frontal lobotomy

We have seen foggier WS than yours come out of the fog, so don't give up hope! If he offers to move out tonight, then take him up on that offer. But I think you should wait a few more days before you ask him to move.

Stay calm and steady and focused, Kim. You have a plan, a mission; don't let him divert you from your path with his sabre rattling. You are in the right. HE IS IN THE WRONG>

To all of you - thanks so much for your encourgement. I will try too stay strong.

OWH & I have been e-mailing each other today. He said that they are divorcing based on the continuation of the relationship. OWH said that OW is planning on ending up with my WH.

WH just called to apologize for what he said & getting me upset at work. Then he asked what I wanted for dinner. Maybe he's planning on leaving after dinner????

I almost told OWH that OW and WH deserved each other. Instead I told him that I was still planning on fighting for my M and that I still believed in it. OWH said he wished me the best of luck.

Kim

Hang in there Kimberly!!! but remeber they are in a fog and you can't really believe anything they say

He wanted to know if OWH & I had talked again? Whose on trial here????

I can't believe this! & what does it matter if he's leaving me anyway.

Kim

Kim, just stick to your guns and stay steady. This may be a real wake up call for your H and the OW. Taking this to a new level will cause the affair to crumble even quicker.

Have you told the OWH about the wife beating allegations and have you spoken to her boss yet?

The boss was in a meeting, took my name and work # & said he would call me back in 30 minutes....He did not. He has probably gone for the day(I believe he works nights too).

I have not told OWH about the beating allegations yet.....

Kim

Chances are your H's dream was to have YOU as his wife and OW as his side-dish .... chances are your H had never imagined he'd lose YOU....

you will find out what sort of a man you are married to real quick!