Hurting:

I'm so sorry.

I acknowledge that I overreacted.

I was not angry at YOU..more frustrated...

I do have strong feelings of anger..rage even..towards OPs..

I think we need to be careful to not HAND OVER our WSes TO THEM on a silver platter...let the OPs work for what they want...our spouses..let the OPs work towards meeting ENs....

Turns out the FOW, in our sitch, was CLUELESS when she had her chance...

Whether in battle, on a sports team (as our boys were), in business or even in fighting a major health challenge, I think it's important TO NEVER GIVE UP...

KEEP UP THE FIGHT....

I think the outcome will be better if you stay positive and hopeful about the future, your own future..

Regardless of whether you reconcile your marriage or not, YOU will not be DESTROYED...

I guarantee you, YOU can come out of this being a better person because you will be A SURVIVOR.....

Funny, I thought that's what Plan B is all about. Letting the WS/OP have their shot at happiness.

I continue to be fascinated at the way the BS continue to disguise their disempowerment from themselves. It's an aspect of affairs we don't talk about much. Being lied to, having major areas of one's life taken away from one, without any reason or even your knowlede -- all of this has a very powerful psychological effect. We want to get back into control -- it's normal. So we use language like "letting him go" -- when he has already decided to go himself, for example.

We are not "handing" the WS over to the OP -- they are walking. In some cases, running. We cannot stop it.

That's what Plan B is about. Folding up your lawnchair and not watching the destruction of your own life. Drawing a line on how much the affair partners can destroy, and writing off a large portion of your life that you are losing inch-by-inch anyway. Withdrawing from the drama. Rebuilding your life.

It's a recognition that the teenagers who threw the party and made the mess are going to have to clean it up. They'll have to clean it up before you take one step back in the house.

((( HIO ))) You are in very,very good hands here. Mimi and Mel are excellent in guiding BS through this. You are very fortunate to have them in your corner. You know everyone is routing for you. It will work out - we all know this.

Sorry I have not been to MB in a couple of days. I have been trying to burn a cd - NOT an easy task. At least for me. What a nightmare. Still don't have it figured out. Oh well.... it is always something.

I think the crocheting is a very good idea. I crochet alot and you can do that while watching tv. Busy hands keep your mind busy - off of you know who. It will work for you and you will be so happy and feel good about yourself when you have a compelted blanket. Great idea.

Like I have told you before.. you can contact me anytime. If you want to.. need to... What ever works for you.

You are not alone.

Best regards - car