I could think of more to say than that to get booted off the board...LOL

Check, how can you say kissing is just kissing and signifies nothing? "A tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing." Hah. Every time someone, be it the Bard or Faulkner, tells me something signifies nothing, I pay attention. They're often slanting the truth.

Now, for me sex is extremely important. Like number 1. And since I have yet to meet a bad kisser who was good at other sexual activity, I rank kissing pretty high.

Although, at this point in my life, I'd probably cut a gentleman some slack on the first couple of kisses.

I'm with you Green -- top EN. And to get to that you gotta kiss me.

It wouldn't be the sole reason I stopped dating someone -- but it would certainly contribute to the overall feeling if I had other doubts.

I was not quoting the bard. By the way, if you think that Shakespeare was "slanting the truth" in that scene, you need to read it again.

What I have tried to get across over and again is the we have been SOCIALLY CONDITIONED to feel the way you do about kissing, romance, sex, etc. Other cultures do not share our ideas about these things. And, no, we obviously do not know best, since WE, not they, have an incredibly high divorce rate, We already know that one of the main causes is that we have very unrealisitc expectations about love and relationships. We work off a set of Hollywood/romance novel expectations of reality. And it isn't working. We must reexamine these things.

There are many, many ways of expressing affection. Kissing is only one of them. Affection is an EN, kissing IS NOT. A man who is using you as a sex toy will kiss you, but he feels no affection for you, so you can't equate the two. I suggest that you are placing waaaaaaaaaay too much importance on something that is really trivial within the larger context of what it takes for a couple to have a successful relationship.

Kissing means different things to different people...it can't be generalized

Generally speaking... of course... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I'm not generalizing, AGG. I'm saying that to too many people, it means too much. That's not a generalization. Why is what I'm saying so hard to understand? Or is it that it isn't hard to understand, but a bit scarey to think about? Consider that we are all divorced here. Think that we only made mistakes in the last few months that caused our relationships to fail? Or could it be that we made a series of mistakes along the way and, in all probability, right from the start. We need to rethink everything about how we got to where we are today and make changes that will result in success. Nothing should be off the table.

Just for fun and opinions, can I venture to pose a slightly different question than was originally asked? TBG, you originally asked about the first SERIOUS kiss... what about the first KISS? That was what the lesson in the movie, Hitch, was all about, wasn't it? The quote about "80% of women judge the relationship by the first kiss" was all about the lesson he was giving on the FIRST KISS... the kiss goodnight - not the first SERIOUS kiss.

Maybe this DOES tell more about the guy, and therefore was the importance of the "Date lesson" Hitch was teaching. It tells a lot about the guy's confidence (or lack of, or ability to overcome his fear), respect (does he ask for a kiss, or does he dive in for the plunge, or does he give you a peck on the cheek, etc), awkwardness (or lack of), intent (wanna be friends, or more, or wanna see you again), how much he likes you (or not), as well as closer contact (touch, smell, feel, taste), etc. Or maybe he waits for the 2nd or third date and keeps us guessing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />. But just like in the movie... the guy overcame his fear and kissed her good night and made a big impression on her. That was the biggest statement - not the quality of the kiss. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Smarty!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Check I was agreeing with you...LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hmmm, first kiss with stbx was horrible........

I can't say I'd judge the entire person on one kiss, but hey, I have to admit that kissing is important, and I'd like to have similar ah technique/desire/etc.

The 'first kiss' test is a great example of why so many women can't find the right guy. They are going about it all wrong.

Let me give you some examples: I have had a number of first kisses this year. Normally, I would NEVER try to French kiss a woman the first time, or even the second. But, I would say that about half of the women I have kissed for the first time will quickly follow by starting to French Kiss.

So, how would I be judged on the first kiss if I don't French Kiss? Or if I do? Obviously, I would be a great kisser with 1/2 the women and probably to agressive for the other 1/2. Go figure.

Check, you said Affection is a need, kissing is not. You are right.

One interesting thing that often gets lost on this site is that you need to fill your spouses emotional needs in the way he or she likes. That counts for conversation, attractive spouse, domestic support, affection, recreational companionship and, yes, sexual fullfillment.

If someone doesn't fill my needs in a way I like when we're just in the dating stage, I probably won't continue the relationship. After all, it would be like a bait and switch to be fine with it all along and suddenly say, "Oh, by the way, I really don't like the way you kiss, so I need you to kiss me like this."

So if you like to french kiss when the person you are dating does not, you would end the relationship?

TBG,

My EX didn't like to french kiss, I married him anyway! Maybe that was my red flag!! LOL

UGH!! No French kissing?? Ever?? Never Ever?? That's a hard one...

Green Eyes,

That did bother me during 21 yrs with him. Thank goodness that is not an issue for me any longer.

I really don't know if I could stand to NOT do that...that's a big thing...just like having a healthy sex life is a big thing...

Well I met him when I was 17, so I was young and stupid.
Now, I'm older and hopefully wiser! LOL

LOL!!! Wiser is a good thing!!!

I once dated a man who was less-than-physically-attractive to me, at first. And then we kissed. [color:"red"]WOWSERS! [/color] It turns out that he had a bad temper and I let him go a month later, but had we not had that amazing kiss -- I still think about it LOL -- I might have dumped him for being "not my type" instead of the complete and total jerk he really is. LOL


Mrs. W8ing