ok, all you vast pillars of knowledge I have a question... I am doing Plan A. as you know h is "staying" with ow until he can find an apt since he was booted, excuse me, told to leave the house he was staying in (our family friends) so... I have emailed h and told him as long as we are married he is free to come home at any time. Don't know if he read it or not. And have him blocked from my email in case he responded negatively. so... say he does say he wants to come home until he goes to iraq.... due to him missing kids, etc. whatever... do I (a) let him come home even though affair is still going on since I am doing Plan A and trying to do things that will make him want to end the affair or (b) tell him yes, absolutely you can come home but no more contact with her as long as you are under this roof (I have made this "deal" with him before and he still did what he wanted anyway).

Input on this one please. I really think it would only be due to much prayer that h would even consider coming home. I think he is quite content with his little ****** right now. But in case it happens..... mlhb

mlhb - Once he is out, I see no point in letting him come home while still having any contact with the OW. My WH tried to pull that 2 days before Christmas. Luckily, everyone here told me NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forget about him, and get busy with your life. That is what helped me the most. I organized, cleaned, painted, redecorated, detailed the car, did the yard, exercised, joined a women's bible study, did volunteer work, and went all kinds of places with friends.

My WH didn't come back, but my life is much happier.

The second one. Remember, Plan A is about breaking up the affair. So, since he is already gone...you Plan A from afar and say the door is open as your husband, not as a WS.

In His arms.

thank you, that is what i thought....mlhb

bumping for more action :-) mlhb

my daughter cries every night for her father. Last night was especially bad. She wanted to call him at work so we did. She sobbed uncontrollably on the phone with him. He won't see them again until Monday. They are used to seeing him everyday but now that he is staying with her they only see him a few hours on his days off.

You would think hearing his daughter like this would make him feel badly and do some thinking. What do you all think? mlhb