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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Asking me to reassure OW was pretty much all I needed to hear to realize that this man has lost his ever loving mind. Now what were you supposed to reassure her of? WH told me that OW and OWH had lunch where she told him everything. So now that it was all in the open, would I reassure OW that I would not cause her any more trouble. heheehee "cause trouble" by doing what?? Calling her husband?? ROFL!! If its out in the open, that shouldn't be an issue, right? LOLOLOL
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Jean, PLEASE TELL ME you are going to go visit the OWH tomorrow?? The OW is scared to death you will do it because it will ruin her affair! She SOOO deserves this. Jean, you have her by the short and curlies, NOW SQUEEZE!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197 |
I really don't think I can get there today. It is fall break and I have my 2 DD's plus I am babysitting my 2 neices. I need to find someone who speaks Korean, I do believe that OWH may not speak much English. That is pretty common in WH's line of work. I would love to be a fly on the wall to see WH trying to explain this to OWH in sign language in sign language or Korenglish <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
The one guy at the business that my mom and I have both spoken to is American. When my mom went in there last week, an older Asian man overheard what was going on and just bustled out of there real quick. I do not doubt that everyone at work knows. My mom also goes to church with one of the workers granddaughters.
I have a Korean/English dictionary around here somewhere from when I was active in WH's business. The best thing would be if I could find someone who could translate for me who is not associated with all this mess. But every one I know who is Korean, is related to my WH's business somehow.
Maybe I'll ask Mom to drop off some more drycleaning. When they see her come in, the buzz will start back up. They screwed up the zipper she was having replaced last week anyway. Isn't it ironic that this is where my mom has done her dry cleaning for 20+ years? But this couple just bought the place 3-4 months ago (that is when the A started).
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Jean, I would not pass up this opportunity and would get over there TODAY or TOMORROW. Drop the kids off at your mothers. I am sure he understands enough English to get the message, there will have to be someone there who does that can translate. DON'T LOSE THIS OPPORTUNITY! The more time that passes, the more opportunities the OW has to spin the story. Go see this man, Jean!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Asking me to reassure OW was pretty much all I needed to hear to realize that this man has lost his ever loving mind. Now what were you supposed to reassure her of? WH told me that OW and OWH had lunch where she told him everything. So now that it was all in the open, would I reassure OW that I would not cause her any more trouble. OW's H probably speaks enough english to communicate his business needs. That w/b enough for you to get the message across. Even if there isn't a translator available, go see him. Just take along a 3rd party for your support/protection. Since you are dealing with the asian culture, it w/b better if the 3rd party was a guy. A guy who speaks Korean w/b be the best support but any respectable guy w/b work. JMHO, L.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 322
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 322 |
Hi,
I got a good one last night...
"You wouldn't have contacted the OW's mother if you really understood and loved me and wanted me to be happy. When you and the OW were friends she told you about how difficult and strained her relationship was with her mother. You had to play that card, didn't you. You know her mother thinks she is a twelve year old who needs pschotherapy."
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
lamplight
Last edited by lamplight; 10/06/05 12:41 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 426
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 426 |
My personal favorite babble goes like this " you can go on telling whoever you want you are only hurting yourself now" right after someone confronts them. Irrational minds can rationalize anything! This line only served to tell me I was right in exposing the affair.
Somewhere, sometime it will finally sink in to the WS what reality really is. Helping them hide it by not exposing only prolongs the delusions.
Dukhuntr
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that opened for us" - Helen Keller
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