That is terrible he is telling them that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Immigrants come here and get working papers while they are going through INS court waiting for thier immigration claim to be heard by Immigration.

In order to get a GC they have to...

1. Claim and prove political assylum, that they have been severly persecuted or in danger in thier native country in order to get GC for political assylum. Most cannot prove this.

2. If they cannot prove political assylum to INS, they're next move is to marry and american. And many will go to any "extreme" to do that. I don't know if you knew that so I just thought I would pass that little bit of info on to you anyway...

Do you think your H could be looking to D you in order to marry her?

Love, Lady

I don't know what the details are. I think that neither OW nor OWH are citizens. So I don't understand how their citizenship is dependant on their staying married. I keep hearing that they will have to stay married for 5-7 years for the process to be complete.

I specifically asked WH why she just doesn't D her H and marry WH for a green card. He just babbles, I just don't understand it.

But the Koreans that I have spoken to, who don't know OW, say that she is acting very stupid for jepordizing her status to screw around with a M man.

I don't understand this as well.


They all cover for each other...be aware of that!

She may be using your H to benefit her status!

Love, Lady

Dear Jean,
Great job exposing to owh!!
I know you made a comment about your w/s not being able to save face and come home after all this, but you might be wrong. My w/h had high morals, integrity and lots of pride. After exposure to family, and the employees at the facility his mother used to be at, he still was able to forgive me and swallow his pride. I know everyday must be a struggle to face people, my husband has always conducted himself in a dignified manner, and the exposure of this sooooo undignified EA, has truly embarressed and brought shame on himself and his reputation.
So, don't give up hope that your w/h would never be able to overcome his losing face and return to your family.

I hope you find resolution and can finally find peace.

But now that I think some more on it, it does seem at one time WH told me that if there is trouble, OW would be deported and OWH would be guilty of fraud. That his children would lose everything. This was an appeal to me, as in don't break up that innocent family by causing trouble.

So OWH may be a citizen. He doesn't seem to speak English very well at all, but I don't guess that is indicative of his citizenship status.

It seems like the best course of action for me is to just ensure that any divorce that transpires includes the name of OW. Perhaps she will move on to a single man that can get her a green card easier than dealing with me.

Yes, that is the best thing to do.

Love, Lady

jean,


Sounds like your WH may have gotten himself in a real mess here. I think your exposure may do wonders for you.

have you heard from him yet? I bet OWH probably is livid now and is keeping close tabs on her because of this mess. Lets hope so anyway.

Good Job

I agree with Hurting, you did a great job on that exposure, and may have thwarted all of thier plans.

Love, Lady

Thanks guys. Perhaps I need to look for a lawyer that has a good knowledge of immigration laws to help me cover that base.

Am I correct that my WH can not divorce me on the grounds of his A. Won't he have to file no-fault or make up something?

And no, I haven't heard a peep yet. Maybe OWH shipped her off to stay with a nice grandma somewhere for awhile. OWH was so very not happy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I think this all is another excellant reason to not sign the joint tax return. I should not commit to a tax liability if WH is in the middle of some wonky immigrations scheme.

Oh, and WH is mister conservative republican. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Jean,

In Okla. you can file I.diffrences with no problem. I know if WH files he is going to use that he isn't going to tell the lawyer the truth. Now if I was to file I will use the adultry charges.

But in the end it won't matter actually divorce is divorce. But I do believe if he files I will counter file on adultry. But either way it will come out in court to the judge. That I will make sure of...

Jean do you honestly think he will tell the truth he will just make out like you two don't get along anymore , it will be up to you to make the truth known to the judge. Thats what I may be facing myself if WH files. We just gonna have to take it one day at a time and see what they do.

.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hurting,
I think WH would have to file on Irr Diff. But, I have made it very clear that I will not jepordize my legal standing to protect his mistress.

Now, he could offer me everything I would get in a fault D. He won't-but he could. Perhaps OWH and OW would like to pay WH's CS and alimony to make me shut up. I feel confident that his Korean friends will help him fund the D.

But, like I have said, I am not afraid of being broke, moving in with my mom, him abadoning the children. I am really not afraid of any of that-I know I can deal with all that.

I guess I just need to see how dirty a WS can get, for my own closure. The only thing that he could do to me that would hurt, is try to take my kids from me and I just don't think he can do that. I have had issue with depression, but that is about all the dirt he could come up with.

He could force me to stop homeschooling them, but we would survive that. I suggested putting the kids in school several weeks ago so I could return to work. He fought me on that, says he is still very pro-HSing.

So, we shall see what his next move is.

You stick to yur guns Jean. I think you are doing the right thing. See in okla. yes it would put in the papers he committed adultry and name the OW but in the end we would still have to divide everything 50/50 its a community property state so fault plays no part in division from what I am told.... It would just give me the satifaction of having it put in public records the reason for the D. Plus anytime he would have to show his D papers it would be plainly stated....

Still not a peep from WH. He could be planning my untimely demise. He and OW may have Romeo and Julieted on outta here or OWH has flushed her phone down the toilet. I wonder if he just ran away, how long it would take someone to notify me.

He has said he wanted the girls for dinner one night a week. He did it for the first two weeks, but not last week and I haven't heard from him today (Wednesday would be dinner night). I honestly think he is too narcissitic to do harm to himself, but I still keep that possibility in the back of my mind. But, running away is something he has threatened to do a couple of times.

I wish I could call OWH and get some news, but I just don't think he communicates well enough for a phone call (plus he has never answered the phone when I have called)

Jean,

I guess its just one of those wait and situations. I am sure you will find something out soon. The waiting for the other shoe to drop though is awful. Chin up and try not to think about it....

Still not a word. But I am cleaning out one of those crappy corners in the house. I found boxes of mail, opened and unopened. It turns out that while we were separated the house went into foreclosure not once but twice! And he didn't tell me either time. The second time I found out when a friend called and asked if we still owned the house together and said she saw the notice in the paper. But I had no idea about the previous time.

The foreclosure notice was dated March '04 and he bought a newer vehicle for himself in April '04. I guess in saving up money for his truck, he neglected the house note for 3-4 months.

He is such a gooberhead. This really raises my confidence level that he is going to pay the bills for two households. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hi Jean,


Well they are probably in hiding, cowering, with they're heads spinning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You WH was probably shocked, when he found out about the way you handled the exposure. He probably never thought...in a million years...you would do something like that. Your a tough woman there... Jean. He really didn't think you were gonna sit back and do nothing...did he?

Love, Lady

Well of course he thought I was going to sit back and do nothing. Don't you know the first night he spent in an hotel-he was longer any of my concern, the marriage was over blah blah blah.

He has been out of the house for a month. Still no attorney, still no apartment, no cash for groceries in three weeks.

I guess that is one reason I did do the last bit of exposure, I did need to confirm OW's legal name and it is time to poop or get off the pot.

Even the kids are starting to figure this out. When he left, he told them he would have them half the week. They keep asking when he is going to get his apartment so they can spend more time with him. He is just not doing anything but sticking his head further and further under the rock.